* * *
Sam looked at his watch as the minutes dragged on and Lara still didn't emerge from his bathroom. Realizing that he was more than likely too late to call Josie, Sam felt as frustrated as he'd ever been in his life. He was frustrated and worried sick about Josie, whom he strongly suspected was out driving somewhere in the storm that had not yet subsided.
Once again he knew he'd inadvertently hurt the one person who meant the most to him and he was powerless as usual to explain his situation or try to make it up to her. Now he realized that his failure to inform Josie about the "Lara" situation had only led to potentially disastrous results.
Growing increasingly impatient, he walked tentatively to the doorway of his bedroom, not wanting to be in close proximity to Lara.
"Hey Lara, come on would ya?" he called. "Whadja do? Fall in?" He muttered the last part under his breath as he rolled his eyes. He knew full well that Lara had rarely been on time for anything in her life. Indeed her lack of punctuality had been the cause of many arguments between the two of them throughout the duration of their relationship.
"Sam, please, I'm in the bathroom; give me some privacy!" Lara huffed it indignantly as if he'd just stormed in on her. She had ears like a bat and had heard every word he'd uttered. It gave her some satisfaction to know that now that he was keeping his distance, not even coming in the bedroom far enough to knock on the bathroom door � that proved that she'd gotten under his skin with her antics and delaying tactics.
She had just finished applying her eyeliner and was working on another coat of mascara for her lashes. Smiling at herself in the mirror, she glanced down at her purse. 'That necklace and those pearl earrings will set off this outfit perfectly!' she thought triumphantly as she continued to admire her reflection.
Deducing correctly that Sam had purchased them as a gift for the woman she thought of as his little teenage paramour, Lara had quickly scooped them into her purse. After all, she reasoned Sam owed her something tangible after disappointing her like this after five long years. She hadn't missed noticing that the jewelry was much nicer and more expensive than anything Sam had ever purchased for her even in the beginning of their relationship - when things were good between them. This comparison only added fuel to her jealous rage.
And Lara firmly believed that Sam more than deserved the other things she'd done to him too. Especially now after he'd admitted that he was in love with that girl. She knew if word got out that she'd been dumped for a teenager, she'd never live it down in New York. Sam had treated her shabbily � there was no getting around that. Being at heart a vindictive person, Lara wasn't about to let a golden opportunity to pay him back pass her by. Not in this lifetime.
Then there was the bonus discovery � thanks to little Josie's phone call. Lara knew now that Sam hadn't told the girl how he felt about her � that was patently obvious from his behavior and from Josie's reaction to Lara answering his telephone. More than likely Sam hadn't even told the girl about their breakup and he was tormenting himself about the possible consequences of upsetting Josie at this very moment.
True to form, she thought to herself. Sam was trying to have it both ways � playing the honorable teacher to the hilt while lusting after this little student. Lara pulled out her eyelash curler to complete her elaborate beautification process. Sam had called to her from the doorway so he most likely hadn't looked around his bedroom and she hadn't heard him opening any drawers. She knew he was standing out there staring out the window like a lovesick puppy, fretting about calling Josie back.
'I'm not going to make it easy for you Sam,' she thought maliciously as she reached for her Chanel lipliner. Lara knew full well how sensitive and emotional Sam was under his normally laid back exterior. She couldn't count the number of times she'd used this trait she saw as a weakness � his kindheartedness � to manipulate and control him. And now there was the added advantage of the obvious passion he felt towards that student of his � it made him an even more vulnerable target.
'Let him just wait a while!' she thought spitefully, knowing that she had a good hour and a half before she needed to meet her new friend at the hotel. She had no intention of rushing out into a storm just to suit Sam Coulson � oh no, by no means did she want his evening to be a pleasant one. She wanted to make sure of that. She also wanted to make sure she looked her best for her "date" this evening and there was plenty of time to apply her vast assortment of cosmetics and torment Sam.
An increasingly frustrated and exasperated Sam had glanced at his watch now too many times to count. He alternated between three activities: staring out the window, staring at the phone and looking at the watch on his arm. His only hope was that somehow Josie would wait until the storm subsided and then he could catch her there before she would leave. But realistically, Sam's instincts told him that Josie had headed out the door the minute they'd hung up. After all, he had heard the determination in her voice -�there was no getting around that.
Besides determination, he also sensed that something else was going on with Josie at that moment - something to do with that person named Gus. Something was tearing her apart � he was so in tune with her emotionally that he could feel her pain � he just couldn't quite understand the reasons behind it. Sam knew she was in pain and he knew that she needed him and at the moment he was powerless to help her.
He stalked over to the window, glaring outside, willing the rain to taper off. Still it came down in sheets. Another thought occurred to him � if Josie had indeed left her apartment to go out, where on earth would she go? And whom could he call to get some idea where she might be? He didn't even know Rob's last name and he didn't want to upset her mother unnecessarily. There was Aldys to consider, but how could he explain such a telephone call to Aldys?
As he tried to formulate a plan, Sam suddenly realized that he really knew very little about what Josie might do in a situation like this where she was clearly upset about something. As much as he loved her and was in tune with her emotionally; there was so much more about her that he needed to learn. He knew her well enough to know his best source would probably be Rob, but how could he ever hope to locate him? Nobody at school seemed to know Rob's last name. 'Even if Lara leaves this minute, how in the world can I find Josie?' he thought helplessly.
* * *
Josie hadn't been able to escape the rain when she ran into her apartment and found the message for Sam about his car on her answering machine. She had changed out of her soaked dress into tights, jeans and a V-neck light blue T- shirt before she called Sam's apartment. After hanging up on him for what she thought was his own good, she decided to go the place she always went whenever she was upset and needed to think about things � the skating rink at the mall.
Hurriedly opening her coat closet, she grabbed her hooded navy blue windbreaker. She knew her skates were in the trunk of her car so all she needed to do was find a flashlight to see her way out, since the power was still off in her building. Knowing how long it usually took for power to come on in her area, she figured she might as well go skate until the mall closed for the evening. That would give her plenty of time to contemplate her course of action.
Josie pulled the hood up over her hair and ran for her Buick. It was still pouring, but she barely noticed the rain as she scrambled into her car and put the key in the ignition. Then for the first time that day, everything started to sink in and she laid her head on the steering wheel and sobbed.
She knew she was most likely about to forfeit her job at the Chicago Sun Times. That was the least of her worries. Any relationship with Sam now was so far out of reach she couldn't even let herself consider it. She knew she had to protect Sam from Gus no matter what the consequences. There was no way she could allow anyone to deliberately hurt Sam. That just wasn't an option that she could consider. Whether she could have a future with him or not, she loved him too much to see him hurt by anyone. The story Gus wanted would not and could not happen as far as she was concerned. The article entitled, "Student/Teacher Relationships: How Close Is Too Close?" would never happen with regard to Sam Coulson.
In light of the fact that Lara had answered his telephone, she wondered if there was much to worry about now in that department. Lara was clearly back in town and apparently staying with Sam. By Josie's calculations Lara had visited Sam at least three times in the past two weeks. So things were not completely over yet between him and his girlfriend of five years. As long as Josie could keep her distance from Sam, there was nothing Gus could do to him. And with Lara present there was little chance that Sam would confess his love for her.
Girlfriend or no girlfriend, there was not a doubt left in her mind though that Sam loved her � Josie Geller. Gus' video had erased all her doubts in that department once and for all, reinforcing what she'd felt during their afternoon together, holding hands in the school courtyard. Then his tormented voice on the other end of the telephone had cemented what she already knew � Sam was in love with her, too. But, in spite of all that, for some strange inexplicable reason - here he was still keeping Lara in his life.
Josie wondered though if after a five-year relationship he might continue to harbor feelings for Lara. 'Maybe he loves both of us,' she found herself thinking, speculating that maybe there was something to what Rob said after all. She didn't want to believe such a thing about Sam, but it was beginning to look like maybe he was continuing to have a physical relationship with Lara, even while his heart belonged to Josie.
It was all so confusing. What was Lara doing there calling him darling? She had to admit it was a puzzlement, but then she cursed herself for even trying to imagine what might be going on between the two of them. After all, Lara wasn't a reporter who was lying to Sam, as her editor set him up for a public scandal. As his girlfriend of five years, Lara had more right to be there than Josie did and she knew it.
Josie also knew she needed to face the fact that in spite of how much she truly loved Sam, Lara was better for him in the long run. At least at this juncture, that was her perception of how things stood between the three of them. Once Sam knew everything she wondered if he'd still be interested in a twenty-five year old woman who'd never even been kissed, especially after being with a sophisticated woman of the world like Lara.
She recognized the fact that if Sam knew the truth about her, he'd mostly likely come to the same conclusion and return to Lara anyway. Even though Josie didn't like Lara, she knew that in the end Sam would be better off staying with the woman, especially if he wanted to continue teaching. 'He's such a wonderful teacher,' she thought sadly. 'I can't let Gus destroy all that. I guess I have to love him enough to let him go.'
Josie closed her eyes then and squared her shoulders. Turning the windshield wipers on to their highest setting, she discovered she could see well enough to drive even through this torrential downpour. Not many other cars appeared to be out on the street. Josie reached over to turn her radio on for the first time that day and discovered it was playing Rob's beloved Country music station at full blast. She laughed in spite of herself and shook her head as she turned it down quite a bit. Rob and his bizarre behavior could always make her smile even when he wasn't around.
She suddenly felt an urge to call her little brother and talk about things, but she figured that could wait until the rain subsided. 'What could Rob do, anyway?' she wondered. Grabbing a tissue out of her purse, Josie blew her nose and dried her eyes and set out alone for the mall.
* * *
Anita had spent the past half hour in a traffic jam on the way to Josie's apartment. She'd been unable to get through to her on her cell phone, most likely because of the storm. Realizing that her friend had been blindsided by Gus made her all the more determined to find Josie and help her through this mess. After all, Anita thought guiltily, 'I was the one who encouraged her to flirt with Sam.'
Gus had called Anita in to show her the tape of Sam and Josie earlier in the day and had laid out what he planned to do as far as the story was concerned. Anita had protested in vain as Gus was not to be swayed. She knew this was what he had confronted Josie with during their meeting, and because of her own workload, Anita hadn't had an opportunity to warn Josie beforehand.
Breaking free from the traffic bottleneck, Anita finally pulled up in front of Josie's apartment building. As she scanned the area, she immediately realized that no lights were on in Josie's apartment, or at any of the other buildings in the area, and Josie's car was nowhere in sight. Anita sighed, wondering where Josie might go at a time like this. Suddenly, an idea popped into her head. She thought of the one place where Josie always went to think � 'Of course - the skating rink!'
Anita made a U Turn and headed for the Mall.
* * *
After more than forty-five minutes Lara finally sauntered breezily out of Sam's bathroom. "Just a sec, Sam, I need to get my Black's Law Dictionary and I'll be going," she called out.
By this time Sam had gone over to the window and leaned his forehead against the glass in complete and utter frustration.
Lara pranced merrily out of the bedroom with her purse in hand and the large green law book under her arm. She set the book on top of the box and closed up the sides and glanced towards Sam at his perch.
"Oh look, the rain's subsiding!" she exclaimed cheerfully. "Do I have good timing or what?" She looked at him dryly. "Well, I guess that depends on your perspective doesn't it, Sam?" She asked the question all the while smirking at him.
Sam sighed, but didn't look at her and ignored her jab. "Could you just please go now, Lara?" he asked in his most exasperated tone of voice.
"Fine, I'm going. I have a date anyway," she said breezily. Noticing that Sam seemed completely disinterested in her plans for the evening and totally lost in his own little world, she whined. "Carry this for me, would you Sam? I don't want to break my nails."
'That's not all I'd like to break!' Sam thought irrationally.
But out loud he said, "I'll carry anything if you'll just go." He looked at her, finally noticing how plastic and phony she looked with all that makeup. Compared to Josie's natural fresh beauty, to him Lara looked like a made-up clown. He was startled as he also noticed just how much older Lara looked to him now. He couldn't remember the last time he'd really studied her � he'd looked at her, but not this closely. Her skin looked dry and haggard to him as he scrutinized her and he wondered if it might have something to do with all that drinking she did at her endless stream of cocktail parties in New York.
Her shrill voice interrupted his thoughts. "Do you at least have an umbrella I can use, Sam? I mean, really, this is an expensive pantsuit here. I don't want it ruined, you know?" She huffed in a disgusted tone.
"It's not raining that hard now Lara," he said looking around desperately trying to remember when he had left his umbrella. "Wait, I know where it is!" he exclaimed suddenly as he remembered and walked purposefully towards the coat closet.
He handed her the umbrella and went over to pick up the box. He was surprised at just how heavy it was, but he knew even if it weighed ten tons he'd somehow dig deep and find the strength to carry it if it meant getting her out of there. She had folded the sides closed on top of the box when she placed the big , book inside, so he couldn't see all of the things she'd packed, but he didn't want to use up more time examining the contents. Wondering briefly what might be in it, he dismissed those concerns, figuring she could have anything she wanted if she'd finally just leave him alone.
As the two walked out to her rental car, Lara was grinning like a Cheshire cat. She took the rental car keys out of her jacket pocket and opened the trunk so Sam could set the box inside. Then she closed the trunk lid, relieved that Sam had shown no inclination to look inside her box. She knew that all those papers in the bottom really weighed the thing down.
She turned to look at him. "Well, I'd like to say it's been nice. See you later, Sam." She said it tartly.
Sam grimaced and looked at her, holding his hand out impatiently with the palm turned up. "Aren't you forgetting my key, Lara?" he asked pointedly. "I don't want any more surprise visits, if you don't mind."
Lara's mouth was set in a firm mean line. She fished in the vast wasteland of her purse for her large office/house key ring � the one that had his apartment key on it. "Please don't flatter yourself. I wouldn't be here at all if it weren't for my things and my date tonight." She noticed that he didn't seem curious in the least bit about her social life. Finding the keys, she tossed them to him, snarling, "You take it off, I'm not ruining my manicure over your stupid key, Sam Coulson!"
She was holding the umbrella over her, while Sam stood beside her in the rain, not wanting to stand close enough to her to get under the shelter of her umbrella. He quickly worked the key off the ring and handed the rest of her keys back to her.
Lara snatched them from him and climbed into her car and put the key in the ignition, then rolled down her window for a parting shot.
"I hope you enjoy your evening, Sam. You really should clean that apartment, you know? I mean I tried to do a little for you this afternoon, but if you want your security deposit back, you really should clean it - you know, grow up and get rid of some of that sentimental trash in there." Then she smiled at him strangely.
Scowling as he looked at her cat-that-swallowed-the-canary smile, Sam figured she was probably referring to his hockey trophies as trash. A feeling of nagging dread began to creep into his consciousness about the fact that she'd "cleaned his apartment," that afternoon. Her use of the word "sentimental," set off alarm bells in his brain.
As Lara put her car in drive and pulled away, she smiled, hoping he'd look around now and discover what she'd done. She really couldn't wait to pay him back for all the trouble she'd gone to because of him. Leaving Sam to deal with what was, or rather wasn't waiting for him in his apartment gave her a feeling of enormous satisfaction.
"Brilliant, Lara, just brilliant!" She gushed happily, thinking of how she'd torn up those photographs of Josie on his bedside table. She'd even taken them down to the basement incinerator in his apartment to permanently dispose of Sam's treasured pictures. Then looking in his desk had been sheer genius on her part. She hadn't had time to destroy what she'd found there, so she'd just placed the papers in the bottom of her box and covered them with CD's.
* * *
Sam made sure her car was gone, and then he sprinted up the stairs and ran into his apartment. Immediately he raced to the phone and dialed Josie's number. He didn't have much hope that she'd still be there, but he reasoned that was the best place to start, just in case. Josie's telephone rang twelve times before he gave up, hanging up the phone. He realized that her power was most likely still off because no answering machine picked up his call.
Sam sighed and looked out the window again. The rain had all but stopped so at least he knew that she wasn't driving in a monsoon now if indeed she was still out driving. Realizing that he was soaked to the bone now, he went into his bedroom to change clothes.
* * *
Anita felt lucky to have found a parking space relatively close to the Mall entrance. She ran in the door, breathless as always and headed for the skating rink on the first floor.
Immediately she saw her young friend alone on the ice-skating frantically from one end of the rink to the other, practically throwing herself into the railings. It was clear to Anita that Josie had been crying and was still extremely distraught.
Anita ran to the side railing and hopped up and down nervously waving her arms to try and get Josie's attention. "Josie! Josie!" she hissed.
At first Josie didn't hear Anita calling to her. When she finally did make out her name being called it was as if through a fog. She'd been skating furiously for a half hour. Finally she was able to focus on Anita and she skated reluctantly over to her friend.
"Oh God, Josie, I'm so sorry!" Anita said trying to find a way to comfort the younger woman. "What are you going to do?"
Josie stared at her blankly as if the answer was obvious. "I'm not going to let Gus hurt him, Anita. I think I'm going to have to quit my job."
"Josie, maybe there's a middle ground here. I've been thinking and I think there's definitely a way you can keep your job and still protect Sam," Anita spoke seriously.
"How am I going to keep my job if I don't do what Gus wants? No way! I can't do it!" Josie sighed shaking her head.
"Josie, listen to me. All Gus wants is a good story � so he can keep his job. So, give him a good story, but a different one, you know?" Anita said it nodding vigorously.
"Anita, he's already pitched this to Rigfort. It's locked in. They know what they want � and I can't let them do it. I love him, Anita. I can't let them hurt him for showing that he loves me too." Josie threw her hands in the air. "It's hopeless!"
"No, it's not, Josie, come on. Think. You told me you've already done an outline. You could do the story you intended to do � go to the prom tomorrow and everything. I'm sure you'll be on the Prom Court � that will give you something to write about � the whole Prom experience." Anita noticed that Josie winced. "What is it, will Sam be there?"
Josie nodded. "Yes he'll be there, Anita. He's the faculty advisor for the Prom. He's going to announce the Prom Court." Josie hesitated for a moment and furrowed her brows. "I think his girlfriend will be with him there, though."
Anita's eyes widened.
"So, what's the problem? If she's there, nothing will happen. You can go ahead and act like you like Guy for the benefit of Gus and everybody watching. That way you can write about your Prom experience. Sam will never do anything if his girlfriend's there." Anita hesitated. "What makes you think she'll be there Josie? Hasn't he dumped her yet?" The girlfriend still being in the picture didn't quite make sense to Anita.
Josie looked at the floor. "I called his apartment to tell him something about his car � the garage called and left a message on my machine. Anyway, when I called him, she answered and she called him darling so I think something is still going on with the two of them. She must be here to be his date for the Prom." Anita noticed she said it sadly. She digested this information for a moment.
"I know, Josie. I have the answer! Everything will be fine. You go to the Prom as you planned � nothing will happen because of the girlfriend. If you're wrong and she doesn't show and he approaches you or tries to say something, just pull the camera pin out and step on it. If nothing happens then there's no problem, you write the story Sunday, present it to Gus and tell him that's all she wrote � this is the story take it or leave it. He'll have no choice but to take it � he needs your cooperation to set Sam up. Without it he's got nothing. At least this way he has a story. If he has no story, he has no job and you know how obsessed he is with that job of his." Anita rolled her eyes.
"Gus will go ballistic if I pull that mike out, Anita! He'll kill me!" Josie argued. "I think I'd be better off just quitting."
"No, Josie," Anita protested. "Don't you see? So what if Gus busts a gut? He has a tantrum every other day about something. Stand up to him. I do it all the time. At least this way, you and he both have a chance � if you write a good story. At least give yourself a chance here. Gus is really a pussycat under all that screaming and yelling anyway, don't you know that by now?"
"Why does he want me to hurt Sam like this, Anita?" Josie asked seriously.
"Because it's the easy way to a sensational scandalous story. You know how Rigfort likes sexy stories. He thinks Sam is fair game because in Gus' mind he's doing something wrong by falling for someone he thinks is his student. That's how he rationalizes trying to destroy Sam's life. He thinks he deserves it," Anita explained. "Plus he doesn't know Sam, so he doesn't really see him as a person � he's just a story to Gus."
"Sam wouldn't have fallen for me if I hadn't encouraged it, Anita," Josie protested.
"I don't know about that one, Josie. I think the man was yours from the moment he saw you. I saw him in person, remember? I think he's shown tremendous self-control by not making any overt moves up to this point. I'm sure he's just waiting for you to turn eighteen to go nuts." Anita smiled sympathetically at her friend.
Josie shook her head. "I've seen him a lot off camera, Anita. I flirted with him and I've pursued him and pretty much thrown myself at him." She noticed Anita's skeptical look.
"I have, Anita! Sam hasn't done anything wrong. He's barely responded to my aggression. I've worn the poor man down," she defended. "I even put my hand on his chest this morning."
Anita had to laugh at that one. "You put your hand on his chest? So what?"
Josie looked confused. "Well, um Rob said that sends some kind of sex signal � putting my hand on his chest like that�."
"Rob's pulling your leg, Josie. You didn't say 'let's go do it' when you put your hand on his chest did you?" Anita smiled.
Josie giggled a little in spite of herself. "Anita! No, of course not!"
"Josie, please. Just looking at the man with big blue eyes isn't aggression. Putting your hand on his chest is just flirting with him. He finds you irresistible; that's plain to see. Even Gus figured that one out. Sam's completely ga-ga over you. Poor boy."
Josie frowned. "I know he um cares about me�"
"What an understatement!" Anita snorted. "Let's be honest here, Josie."
Josie bit her lip. "Okay, Anita. I know he loves me. But�."
"But what?"
"Let me get these skates off and we can talk about it. No matter what I'm not going to let Gus do what he's planning to do." Josie said it firmly.
"I know, take your skates off and we can go to my place and you an spend the night, okay?" Anita asked.
Josie sighed. Anita really was a good friend. "That sounds nice Anita. My power was out anyway. Just give me a second and I'll be right�" Both women looked to their left as a man approached.
Josie's eyes opened wide in recognition. "Oh, hi Coach Romano!" Anita noticed that she said it nervously.
Scott Romano looked at her closely. Even Scott could tell that Josie had been crying. "Hi Josie. Is everything alright?" He asked it glancing shyly at Anita.
"Oh, yes, it's fine. I was just upset about something earlier. I'm sorry, this is my friend, Anita" Josie said it suddenly remembering to introduce her friend. "Anita," she added, "this is Coach Romano, from school!"
Anita looked him over, smiled and extended her hand. "Nice to meet you, Coach," she bubbled. "I do love sports and my young friend Josie here tells me you've got quite a team, thanks to your amazing coaching prowess."
"Call me Scott," he said smiling widely at her. "We're playing in the State Championship Game Monday night," he said proudly. "Would you like to come? I can leave a ticket for you at the gate if you'd like."
Anita smiled and winked at him. "I wouldn't miss it."
"Great, maybe I'll see you there," Scott Romano said, grinning. "What's your last name?"
"It's Brandt." She spelled it for him. "I'll be there you can count on it, Scott," Anita oozed, stepping closer to him.
Josie gave her an amused look. 'Boy, Anita can really lay it on thick!' she thought to herself. She wondered if Anita ever gave her libido a rest.
Scott Romano felt a little flustered staring at Anita so he turned to Josie. "I just wanted to make sure you're okay, Josie," he said hesitantly. He wasn't used to having an attractive woman flirt with him like this, but he definitely liked it nonetheless.
Anita interrupted, "She's fine, Scott. I'm taking her to my apartment to spend the night � her power's out, so we're just going to go have a little girl talk." She leaned closer to him and placed a hand on his chest. Anita shot a sidelong glance at her friend and Josie bit her lip to keep from giggling.
Anita batted her eyelashes at him and whispered loudly so Josie could hear, "She's having romance difficulties, you know how difficult things like that can be for girls." Anita wanted to get rid of the man for Josie without hurting his feelings. Anita had sized Scott up and she knew he wouldn't have a clue about a young girl's "romantic difficulties," and would more than likely run at the mention of such a thing.
Josie cringed in embarrassment.
Scott blushed bright red and stammered, "Oh, um sorry Josie. I um hope things work out for you. Well I'd better finish my shopping. And I have to meet my friend, Matt for dinner. You remember Matt Riley, the umpire?" Josie nodded.
Scott tuned back to Anita. Nice meeting you, Anita. I hope I'll see you at the game." He said beaming.
"Oh Scott, it was my pleasure. You will see me there �and thanks for arranging the ticket for me," Anita said sweetly.
"Bye Coach Romano," Josie said quietly, waving nervously at him as he turned to walk away.
* * *
"Think Sam, think � where would she go?" he said out loud as he paced around his apartment. He had changed now into his black jeans and Yale sweatshirt.
Suddenly he had an idea � maybe Scott Romano would have Rob's number even if he didn't know Rob's last name. Sam dialed Scott's telephone, but was greeted with his friend's answering machine.
Closing his eyes, Sam rubbed his forehead with his hands, trying his best to remember what Scott had said about his plans for dinner. Then it came to him � Ruby Tuesday's at the Mall � Scott always went there when he was by himself � the same Mall where Josie skated. He wondered too if the skating rink might be a good place to look for Josie as well. It was close to her apartment and it might be a place where she would go to think about things.
'I'll just grab my jacket and go,' he thought as he sprinted into his bedroom again and entered his walk-in closet. He pulled his black windbreaker off the hanger and rushed back into his bedroom, but something caught or rather did not catch his eye as he glanced at his bedside table. 'Something's missing!' he realized as his eyes opened wide. All of his pictures of Josie skating that had been stacked on his bedside table were gone!
In the blink of an eye, he knew what had happened. "Lara!" he said menacingly. Knowing that his pictures had been out in the open, in plain view, he cursed himself yet again for allowing Lara to retain the key to his apartment. Now the pictures he'd treasured so were gone, either destroyed or worse yet, in Lara's possession. Hot tears filled Sam's eyes as he felt the emotional impact of her vengeful act.
What had she said? He thought, panicking wildly. Something about cleaning his apartment for him! His eyes darted apprehensively around the room as he tried to reason and figure out what else she may have done to him.
Focusing on his dresser, he stepped fearfully towards it, eyeing the jewelry box that held Josie's pearl earrings and necklace � the presents he intended to give her on her eighteenth birthday. His hands were trembling as he lifted the larger box to open it.
"Empty!" he said to no one. He had a sickening feeling that his nightmare had only just begun. The overwhelming surge of nausea caused him to grab his stomach for a moment.
Still reeling and growing ever more apprehensive by the second, he braced himself on the dresser with his hand, bowing his head to somehow try and stop the spinning sensation sweeping over him. Much as he wanted to confront Lara with what she'd done, he was thankful that she wasn't there at that instant. Thankful because he wasn't sure he could control the irrational violent impulse to wring her neck.
"Calm down, Sam," he told himself futilely. His heart was thumping a mile a minute. Then suddenly he had a slightly comforting thought or series of thoughts. The jewelry was certainly replaceable and he remembered the photographer saying she still had the negatives for the pictures of Josie ice- skating. He was going to the mall anyway � he could ask the woman to make him another set of pictures.
His mood brightened slightly for a moment. Unlike the Gordy Howe helmet his father had given him, these things could be replaced with a little effort on his part. That particular helmet had been given to him at a critical juncture in his life � it had inspired him as a boy and given him the strength to keep trying.
It wasn't as if he'd lost Josie � at least he fervently hoped he hadn't. Josie herself was the precious one. Nothing material really mattered compared to Josie, herself.
But still the nagging feeling of dread persisted and permeated his being and then in an awful instant he thought of the one thing that had drawn him to Josie in the beginning � her glorious writing. "Oh, God no, not that!" He pleaded uselessly.
Remembering how very heavy Lara's box had been, he knew what the sickening truth was. Slowly and woodenly he walked out of his bedroom and into his living room approaching his desk more fearful than he would have been if he knew there might be a bomb about to explode inside it.
Collapsing heavily in his chair, he stared at the drawer for several horrible minutes before tentatively reaching to open it � Josie's drawer. Grave apprehension gave way to resigned misery as he pulled the now empty drawer open. All of Josie's writing had vanished! Sam laid his head in his hands on top of his desk as tears spilled down his cheeks.
It was as if in this one afternoon Lara had succeeded in sweeping Josie and all that related to her away from his life. Sam had never felt quite so bereft and empty as he did at this moment. He had hoped to show Josie how he had kept her writing from the first day they'd met � to show her how much he'd truly loved her from the beginning. What could he say now � that he'd kept her writing, but carelessly allowed Lara to have access to it? His weakness in not taking a stronger stand with Lara had now cost him dearly � it may have even cost him a future with Josie, he realized. Then his passive behavior with regard to declaring his love for Josie had further complicated the matter.
But then he had a thought that dangled in his mind like a lifeline waving in front of him. He still had a chance to find Josie and tell her everything � laying his heart and everything he felt on the line. If somehow he could manage to do that, he really believed that there was still a chance that things could work out for the two of them.
As he was trying to organize his thoughts he suddenly inexplicably felt comforted. Walking back into his bedroom he sat on the side of his bed he usually slept on � the left side. Slowly, tentatively he reached under the bed.
"Thank God," he sighed quietly as he felt the two frames still where he'd placed them the previous evening. He'd slid them under the bed the night before along with his school text of As You Like It, with Josie's one surviving piece of writing � "My Dilemma" by Josie Geller folded and stuck in the middle of the book. Heck, he'd studied all these things for hours on end ever since he'd acquired them.
The two pictures of him with Josie and her little cousins Georgia and Gina were there safe and sound smiling back at him, reassuring him. It was almost as if Josie was embracing him � that was how warm and loved he felt looking at her glowing face. If he could find his way into Josie's arms he knew everything would be fine for both of them, just as Rob had predicted.
As hateful and vindictive as Lara's actions were, spending time dwelling on them would get him nowhere and he knew it. It was way past time to take a chance and let the love and warmth that was Josie fill his lonely heart at last.
"All I can do is give it my best shot," he told himself. "Feeling sorry for myself isn't getting us anywhere. I hope it's not too late. But I have to try or I'll never know." This time he knew he had to act, not just think about acting. The time had come for Sam to tell Josie everything - if he could only find her�.
To be continued�