* * *
Sam didn't say a word as he walked into his apartment and noisily laid his briefcase and keys on his desk. A seemingly nonchalant Lara sat on the floor perusing his CD collection while watching him closely out of the corner of her eye.
She had planned this visit with the goal of - at the very least - upsetting Sam for the evening. Then she had tentative plans to meet a man she'd met earlier in the week for drinks at her hotel around 8:00 pm. Since it was only 6:00 now, Lara figured she had plenty of time to have a little fun provoking Sam and still make her date. She'd worn her new black designer pantsuit and she knew she looked perfect as always. It was no accident that she'd selected Sam's favorite color, on the off chance that he might still be attracted to her.
The realization that Lara had paid an unannounced visit to his apartment, obviously to collect her things, had Sam seething with anger. As angry as he was with her for intruding on his life this way, he was upset with himself for not anticipating this behavior and collecting the key earlier in the week.
It was a struggle for Sam to try and keep his emotions in check. He knew for sure he wanted to be in full control of his temper before he confronted her, as he didn't want to give her the satisfaction of seeing how upset he really was.
Lara continued, as if without a care in the world, looking through, his CD's and picking out the ones she wanted. She continued to browse, without missing a beat, waiting for him to make the first move. As far as she was concerned she had every right to be there to collect all the possessions that were rightfully hers. And she would be damned if she'd let Sam Coulson put her on the defensive. She glanced out the window at the streaks of lighting and steady roll of thunder heralding the arrival of the storm.
Everything was falling into place nicely for Lara, including the weather, she thought to herself with a self-satisfied snicker as she pulled her hair back from her face. She'd actually been in Sam's apartment for two full hours before he arrived home. Lara was spoiling for a fight - there was really nothing she liked better than a good argument and over the years she'd perfected a technique sure to arouse Sam's anger, if nothing else.
The irony of the situation was not lost on Lara either. Here she was with the man she'd belittled and taken for granted for years. After all this time of being in control, now he was calling the shots in order to dump her for a much younger woman. She was certain of it and her mind was set on seeking revenge. Beneath her calm and perfectly made-up veneer, she was boiling with rage against Sam and Josie.
To that end, before he'd arrived she'd taken care of destroying quite a choice few of what she knew were now his most prized possessions just for good measure - and she felt quite satisfied about that. By her calculations, he would most likely discover his loss long after she was safely gone. She wasn't afraid of Sam anyway - she knew when he realized what she'd done he'd be more upset and devastated than anything else, especially considering the subject matter.
'Yes,' she thought smugly as she tapped her manicured fingernail on his Madonna CD, 'I found a way to really pay you back this time, Sam.' Recalling his reaction to the time she'd thrown out his beloved Gordie Howe helmet she knew that he'd be even more hurt by what she'd done now. She wished she could be a fly on the wall to see his reaction, but something told her that might not be such a good idea this time.
Sam walked into the kitchen and poured himself a glass of ice water, still not saying a word to Lara. After taking a long drink of water, he inhaled a deep breath, organizing his thoughts before he walked back into the living room. He made the tactical decision to sit as far away from her as possible - on his couch on the opposite side of the room. The dining room of the apartment was full of boxes yet to be packed. Lara's beloved opera was playing in the background and he noticed she looked quite satisfied with herself.
Sam's eyes were glittering with rage. Studying her for a moment, he wished fervently that he could be anywhere but here with this woman who could not seem to leave him alone now. All day long he had been dreading being by himself tonight, but now solitude looked pretty darned appealing in light of the alternative. He wondered if he'd ever get Lara and her games out of his life once and for all. Sam was trying his level best to stay calm and think rationally, but the outrage he was feeling was hard to control.
Staring down at his hand, Sam suddenly found his mind flooded with glorious warm thoughts about Josie, sweet, wonderful Josie - and how he'd spent so much time with her today just holding hands in the school courtyard. 'If Josie loves me, I can handle anything,' he thought to himself. Softly, he closed his eyes and pictured how she'd looked at him with such love and trust � and he knew somehow it was true - he could handle anything, including Lara and her childish behavior.
Glaring at Lara as she schemed and calculated, while going through his belongings, he suddenly felt strangely at peace about everything. He had to admit that Lara was an attractive woman, but now she had no effect on him whatsoever, except for revulsion at her behavior. There was only one woman for him anymore and that was Josie Geller, plain and simple.
Knowing Lara as he did after five long years, he knew she was waiting for him to make the first move - to fire the opening round. He had heard her 'he who speaks first loses' lecture on negotiation strategy too many times to count. Well, this time I'll surprise her,' he thought calmly. 'I'm going to rise above it and get on with my life.'
He decided to show her how little he cared by not allowing her to see how furious he was. "You know, Lara," he started calmly. There was a loud clap of thunder then and they both turned and looked towards the window.
She whirled back to look at him expectantly, "I know what, Sam?" she asked sweetly.
"I would have been more than happy to send all your things to you in New York. You didn't have to make a special trip to Chicago to get them." He said it evenly and calmly and stared at her.
"Well, Sam, that's very nice of you, but I want to make sure that I get everything, you know? I know you're moving and I don't want my things to end up at Jonathan's house, because I know then I'd never have seen them again," she said nastily, knowing how sensitive Sam normally was to jabs about his friends.
The awareness that she was trying to provoke him by implying that Jonathan would take or keep her things gave Sam a moment of pause. He took a deep breath and smiled at her, but his eyes were cold and hard.
Glancing at his telephone answering machine he was somewhat surprised to see the light wasn't blinking. Upon further reflection, he knew Lara wouldn't have hesitated to play his messages and erase them for spite. He couldn't count how many times she had thoughtlessly erased his messages without telling him.
"Were there any messages about my car, Lara?" He was striving to keep his voice as pleasant as possible under the circumstances. "It's in the garage and I think they should have called to let me know something," he explained.
"No Sam, there were no messages. I'm here to get my things�not play secretary for you," she announced haughtily.
Sam gritted his teeth as he continued to smile at her with his mouth closed. He knew she wanted to fight and he was just as determined, as she was not to go down that road. Ignoring the remark, he decided to change the subject.
"While you're at it, make sure you get all the opera CD's Lara - I don't want to have to move them myself and you know how I hate opera, especially that one you've got playing now."
"Don't worry. I will, Sam. Oh, look, it's starting to pour outside," she said looking through the window. "Guess I'll have to stay a while. You wouldn't turn me out in the pouring rain, would you?" she asked purring suggestively at him.
'Wanna bet?' he thought angrily, but out loud he replied in even measured tones.
"How can I help you Lara? You know, to expedite your departure? I'd really like to see that happen - if you don't want to drive in this I'll call you a cab, how's that?" He offered pleasantly.
Lara picked up the bottle next to her and took another drink of beer. Provoking Sam was proving to be a more difficult task than she'd anticipated. Looking at him, she smiled knowingly and got up off the floor and walked over to where he was sitting on the couch. She had kicked off her shoes by where she was sitting so she was in her stocking feet.
Instead of sitting next to him she sat down again on the floor at his feet, crossed her legs Indian-style and looked up at him. She tossed her hair behind her shoulders, all the while, studying his face. As she stared into his eyes she reached up between his legs to touch his hand, but he pulled it away.
The idea of her touching him sickened him now. 'Nobody touches me, but Josie,' he thought to himself - 'not anymore, Lara.' The more time he spent here with the Lara, the more he longed to be with Josie again.
"You know Sam, you look unbelievably sexy today. My God, it even looks like you learned how to iron your shirts now. And you've even tucked it in! Is that one new?" Sam ignored her question and rolled his eyes to study the ceiling. She continued, "You know you always did drive me crazy. Why don't we forget about everything and everybody and just make love all weekend?"
She reached up and put her hand on his leg, slowly but purposefully walking her fingers up his thigh. He wasn't even tempted anymore and hadn't been for quite some time with regard to Lara. He had once thought she was so beautiful, but now he could barely tolerate being in the same room with her. Knowing that manipulation was the name of her game, rejecting her advances was proving to be quite easy for him.
Sam continued staring at the ceiling as he reached down to stop her wandering hand. Determinedly, he picked it up off his leg and set it back down in her lap. Thinking of the innocent and loving moments he spent with Josie that afternoon, he was more aware than ever of the contrast between Josie's sweet unpretentious sensuality and Lara's purposeful manipulative display. The difference between the two really couldn't have been more apparent to him.
"No, Lara, not interested. Just pack your things and get out and leave the key when you go. I don't want any more unannounced visits. Thanks anyway." He said it flatly and politely � with no emotion.
Waving her manicured hand dismissively at him, Lara huffed, "Fine with me, Sam, your loss. If you'd rather have a relationship with an inexperienced teenager than a grown woman, that's your choice."
He knew full well that she was trying to bait him again, but he was determined not to let her succeed. Suddenly the decision to shock her with the truth and end her little cat and mouse game once and for all took on an irresistible appeal as Sam cleared his throat.
"Fine then. We both agree - it's my choice and I most definitely choose her." He said it with a big smile on his face that was not lost on Lara.
Lara's mouth dropped open. "S-s-so, you admit it?" she stammered.
Looking at her amazed reaction to his admission of the truth just amused him more. She knew it anyway, so what the hell?
"Yes Lara, I admit it - and I'll say it really slowly and clearly so you can understand it. I -am - in - love - with - Josie."
Sam felt inexplicably happy just saying it out loud. He felt liberated - knowing that he didn't even care enough about Lara now to get angry with her or lie to her. He just didn't care at all about anything but Josie.
And he knew he had turned the tables on her because now Lara was the one who was livid. "You've got a lot of nerve, Sam Coulson! I could turn you into the authorities!!!" she threatened.
Continuing to smile at her Sam wondered what authorities she was threatening to go to this time. 'The love police, maybe?' He almost laughed out loud at his own absurd thoughts.
"Go ahead. I haven't done anything but fall in love with her. She loves me too. So do whatever you want to. Tell the world - I plan to do that anyway in a couple of weeks. It'd probably make everything simpler if you did tell everyone now."
As he said it Sam realized, to his surprise and delight, he actually meant every word he was saying. He loved Josie and wanted to spend his future with her. Everything in his life was secondary to that now. Everyone would know sooner or later and he was sick of all the half measures - sick of all the lies.
Truth be told, he did want to be the one to break the news to Josie, but he reasoned that Lara was probably making her usual idle threats - the same ones she'd made in their telephone conversation last Sunday and hadn't followed through on.
Knowing he'd totally taken the wind out of Lara's sails was exhilarating and liberating. Rising up angrily, she stomped back over to the pile of CDs, wondering what in the world had come over Sam. She'd thought she knew him - knew how to handle him, but now she knew hhe was a changed man - and a very determined man. She figured she'd try one more approach � just for the satisfaction of annoying him if nothing else.
"You know, Sam, I could still call Josie and tell her the truth about you," she snarled as she sat down.
Sam looked over at her. He remembered what Jonathan had told him about Lara and her nastiness. Realistically now she didn't frighten him one bit, even with threats like this, because after the time he'd spent with Josie today, he knew the truth and it gave him strength. And he knew the chances of her initiating a call to Josie were very slight.
"I can't stop you from doing anything, Lara," he offered matter of factly. "Josie loves me - just ask her. Nothing you can say will change that. We love each other."
Lara glared at him menacingly, knowing that he'd won this little encounter by calling her bluff. But she was buoyed by the growing awareness that she'd done something that would upset him no end. Feeling smug in that knowledge, she still was becoming increasingly nervous about being present when he realized all that she'd done, especially now that he'd come out and admitted how he felt about that girl. She hadn't expected this kind of forthright behavior and it threw her for a loop. Just her luck to see Sam become a man just at the time their relationship was ending, she thought ruefully.
Lara snatched up a Maria Callas CD and threw it in the box picking up the pace considerably with her packing. The more she talked to him the more Lara knew she needed to leave before he discovered what she'd done.
"What about your stupid teaching career, Sam? I could still do something about that!" she hissed as she continued to throw CD's into the box. To his amusement, Sam could see that she was becoming more and more agitated while he remained surprisingly calm and collected � at least for the moment.
"If you feel you must go ahead, Lara - do whatever. Half the faculty at the high school thinks Josie walks on water," he said confidently thinking about Marilyn Knox and Scott Romano and how most of his other colleagues had raved about Josie to him at one time or another since March.
"I haven't done anything wrong here and even if I do decide to stop teaching for a while, I'll just go to grad school wherever Josie goes to college. I've been thinking about that anyway, so it wouldn't be the end of the world," Sam said evenly.
He was glad now that he'd discussed the graduate school option for himself with the Admissions Director at Dartmouth. As he kept talking, he was discovering something that amazed him - the more he leveled with her, the better he felt about everything.
'I can take whatever she dishes out,' he thought as his confidence grew.
But Sam had forgotten just how mean and destructive Lara could be especially in a situation like this � where he was defying her wishes and actually asserting himself.
The rain was really pelting the window now and the wind had increased. The worst of the storm had definitely arrived. Sam was aware of the fact that Lara was actually making progress with her packing - he saw that she was almost to the end of his CD's.
"Do you have anything else here, that I can get for you Lara, so you can leave soon?" he offered cheerfully. He didn't care how hard the rain was coming down. He wanted her to be gone, now.
"No!" Lara snapped. "I got everything out before you got here. Just give me a minute and I'll leave!" She had wanted to look through his books, but now that he was offering to help she was afraid if he moved around his apartment too much, he'd realize just exactly what she'd done.
'Where's my Black's Law Dictionary?' she wondered suddenly. Weighing the possible consequences of a thorough search for the book, she decided not to pursue the matter for the moment.
As she continued to throw CD's in the box, Sam stretched and yawned, inter-locking his fingers behind his head, looking out the window. He hadn't been looking forward to an evening alone, but now the alternative of having to spend time with Lara was a thousand times worse. His mind wandered to what Josie was doing � whether she might be home from her meeting. He hoped that she wasn't out driving in this storm.
Feeling so refreshed at having told Lara the truth about Josie, he was considering telling Josie everything at the Prom. He couldn't really think of a reason not to do it - the idea was appealing to him more and more now. Then there was Lara's threat. He really thought he should be the one to tell Josie rather than Lara. He ran his fingers through his hair as he imagined how Josie would look when he finally told her how much he truly loved her.
The ringing of the phone startled both of them.
Lara, being the closest, swooped to get it hoping it would somehow provide her with an opportunity to get the upper hand with Sam. Sam had a moment of panic, but then dismissed it - he couldn't imagine Josie calling him here - after all she never had before. But he knew that Lara was in charge of the situation and he was irritated that she'd answered his phone. He leveled an angry glance at her.
"Hello," Lara said eagerly, noticing that she was finally getting some sort of reaction out of Sam. She relished the feeling that at least for the moment she was in the driver's seat.
"Is Mr. Coulson there?" The woman on the other end asked it forcefully.
Lara hesitated. It definitely sounded like a grown woman and not that goofy teenager, but she wanted to be sure. Since she'd sounded so assertive, Lara was fairly confident that it wasn't Josie, but yet she wanted to be certain�
"Who is this?" she demanded, gleefully noticing Sam's reflexive grimace.
"It's about his car!" the woman snapped, angrily.
Josie knew she was talking to Lara, but she wasn't intimidated by Lara or anyone else at this point - not after the meeting she'd had with Gus. Josie was way past the point of being intimidated now by anybody. Just her luck to have a message about Sam's car on her machine when she came home so she in turn had to call him to let him know about it.
Josie wondered if her day could possibly get any worse. Then when Lara answered the phone she knew that indeed it could be worse - much worse. It was simply one more confusing incident to add to what had turned into a horrible afternoon.
Lara held the receiver away from her ear and looked at it, amused. The woman on the other end was as assertive as she was, she realized. 'No point in continuing the conversation, couldn't be her,' she thought smugly to herself.
Lara waved the receiver at Sam without covering the mouthpiece. "Sam, darling, it's some woman about your car," she said - loud and clear for everyone to hear, just on the off chance that she might be wrong about the caller's identity.
Sam rolled his eyes at the endearment and walked over to take the phone from her. Covering the mouthpiece with his hand he hissed, "Just finish packing so you can leave, would you Lara? And turn off that stupid opera music so I can hear - make sure you take that one with you when you go." The sharp edge to his voice was not lost on Lara.
She dismissed him with a wave of her hand, knowing if nothing else, she had succeeded in irritating him no end. Sam realized she was trying her best to surreptitiously study his face to see whom he might be talking to.
"Hello," he said quietly, turning away from her to the conversation at hand.
"Hi. I'm calling because the garage called my apartment and left a message on my machine about your car. They said it was an alternator problem and it'll be ready late Monday. I think they were confused because you gave them the number here when you called last night."
Sam blinked hard and his mouth went dry in sheer panic.
Silently thanking God that he was facing away from Lara now - he knew if she saw his face she'd know he was talking to Josie - a very business-like assertive Josie, but it was indeed Josie Geller. Sam felt his heart sinking to the floor as he wondered what on earth Josie would think of him now for having Lara here answering his phone and calling him darling.
He felt like he had a gun pointed at his head from both directions. 'Stay calm, Sam, Don't let Lara know it's her whatever you do - you can call her and explain the situation later.' He decided. His first priority was getting her off the phone without letting Lara know it was Josie. 'Protect Josie, no matter what,' he resolved.
"Okay," he said calmly, although his heart was pounding. Josie had sounded so strange - so detached somehow, that suddenly he was worried to death about her.
"It'll be ready late Monday?" he asked somewhat hoarsely.
Josie hesitated. The realization that he was concealing her identity from Lara was the least of her worries now. She'd been surprised that Lara was there with him answering his phone, calling him darling no less, but then again today had been a day chock full of awful surprises. Josie sighed. She almost felt like telling him to stay with Lara for his own sake, so Gus couldn't hurt him. Almost.
But part of her felt jealous of Lara � just like always. She was in love with Sam after all, and here he was alone in his apartment with his girlfriend. Knowing that she needed to thrust those feelings aside she pushed forward. 'Just give him the information and hang up, Josie' she told herself silently.
"Yes, the message said they'll be open until 9 Monday evening and you can pick it up anytime after 6, but call first to�" Josie gasped suddenly and dropped the phone.
Sam jumped in reaction to her sudden gasp and the noisy clattering as she retrieved the telephone.
"Is something wrong?" He asked worriedly, trying not to let Lara see how concerned he was. He knew she was still studying him. The unmistakable feeling that her eyes were practically boring holes into the back of his head governed his every move.
"Sorry, the power just went off from the storm," Josie explained. "It startled me."
Sam breathed a sigh of relief but Josie still sounded odd to him. Josie was there alone in the dark and there was nothing he could do to help her. The sense that something was very wrong with her besides the power outage was really alarming him now. He wondered briefly if it might have something to do with that meeting of hers or if it was purely a reaction to Lara's presence.
"Oh, yeah, the storm," he said nodding. He was totally rattled now. "Thank you for calling me. Can I call you back then after the storm to get the details about the car?" he asked hopefully.
Josie closed her eyes. She didn't think she could handle that on top of everything else - not now after that awful showdown with Gus.
"No, please don't do that. I think I've told you everything. I have to go out now." Josie hadn't planned to go out, but as soon as she said it she knew that it in fact was what she needed to do now.
Sam blinked and swallowed looking out the window at the driving rain. He had to ask, Lara or no Lara.
"Now!? You're going out now in this downpour?" He knew he sounded as terrified as he felt.
Lara's head whipped around at the tone in his voice and she jumped up to approach him.
Josie knew that at this moment she had to get away from everyone and everything - to think about what she needed to do - for both their sakes. She had to protect him from Gus no matter what the cost. And she had to keep him at least at arms length for his own good - now was as good a time as any, especially since his girlfriend was there with him.
"Sam, please, just don't, okay?" She said it forcefully forgetting all formalities and everything but what she needed to do right that instant. "Not now, I just have to go. Goodbye."
Shocked, he heard the click when she'd hung up on him and the subsequent dial tone. Josie had called him by his first name, but the way she'd said it terrified him - because he realized that Josie was definitely pushing him away from her and with Lara breathing down his neck, he couldn't find out what was wrong.
Lara reached his side just as he reluctantly hung up the phone.
"I thought it was a grown up," she said disgustedly. "But that was her - I can tell from the pathetic look on your face. Don't try to deny it, Sam!"
Sam bit his lip and closed his eyes, not bothering to answer her.
"Trouble in paradise, Sam?" She waited, but he still didn't respond to her.
"Sounds like she hung up on you. Maybe she didn't like me answering your phone, think so? I'm really sorry if I caused trouble. Maybe I shouldn't have called you darling? What do you think?"
Sam could tell by her tone that she clearly was not sorry at all - quite the opposite in fact.
"Could you just leave now, Lara?" Sam asked impatiently. "I'll carry the box out for you."
Lara looked at him. She knew he was itching to call Josie back and just the thought of it infuriated her all over again. From her view of his end of the conversation, Lara was able to glean the fact that Josie was heading out in the pouring rain too. She figured she'd give the girl enough time to be long gone before Sam could call her back.
"I just remembered my Black's Law Dictionary, Sam. Wait a second. I think I know where it is," she said as she slowly walked into his bedroom and began looking through one of his bookcases.
"Oh and I need to go to the bathroom. I'll just do that and be going." She said it smiling triumphantly to herself, knowing that Sam was so upset and distracted by that phone call that he wouldn't think about looking around at his possessions. So, Lara felt relatively safe in dragging her heels for the moment. And she really didn't want to drive in weather like this. 'Leave that for little Ms. Josie,' she thought vindictively.
"Just hurry up would you Lara?" Sam pleaded looking at his watch.
The thought of Josie going out by herself in this downpour scared him to death. Then the way she'd sounded - so detached and far away somehow - made him feel an urgent need to find her - at least to talk to her to explain his situation.
Somehow during the past week, he'd managed to tell everyone about his breakup with Lara. He'd told Rob, Scott, Joanna, Jonathan, Matt and even Josie's mother, Janet Geller. Yes he'd told everyone except the one person who really mattered. He silently cursed himself for not explaining the situation to Josie before now.
Sam knew the way Lara was dragging her feet, Josie would be long gone by the time he could try to call her again. All the happiness and positive feelings from earlier in the day seemed very far away to him now as the minutes dragged by and Lara still didn't leave�
To be continued�