* * *
Josie glanced down at her hand, which was still held in Sam's. "Hey," she said softly, "thanks again." She released his hand and turned as if to walk away. Sam laid a hand on her forearm.
"Would you�like to walk around a while?" Sam asked, not ready to lose her company just yet.
"That would be really nice," Josie said happily. Then after a moment of walking, she turned toward Sam and asked, "Can I ask you a question?"
"Of course."
"You're usually so sure of yourself. I was just curious�I mean�it's none of my business�but�how is it that you're afraid of heights?"
Sam chuckled, unruffled by the personal nature of her question. "Do you remember in class when we discussed disguise and how it frees us?"
Josie nodded. She'd thought of little else since beginning this assignment.
"When I was five, I had these Spiderman pajamas. I thought that when I wore them I had super powers. One night I tried to climb up the side of the garage."
"Did you make it?" asked Josie, already suspecting the answer.
Sam laughed ruefully. "Yeah, I made it right to the emergency room. I had climbed pretty high�up the rainspout�I was almost on the roof when it pulled away from the side of the garage. I let go�and fell to the ground�hard. Broke my left arm in two places. At the emergency room�I overheard the doctor tell my mother that I was lucky to be alive�I'd narrowly missed hitting the paved driveway. After that�" Sam paused, "I kept my feet firmly on the ground and I never wore those pajamas again."
Josie was deeply touched by his story. She reached out a hand sympathetically towards his hand, but snatched it back as she remembered her current role. "So is that why you do some things left handed and some right?" Josie asked. "You use a right handed hockey stick in class�but you write with your left hand."
Sam looked down at Josie; surprised to find out how closely she'd observed him. "It took forever to heal�I learned to compensate, I guess."
"Thank you again for�rescuing me�it means a lot," Josie whispered.
"I�your welcome, again," Sam said as he struggled to find a plausible reason for his actions. "I know you had a pretty horrendous day and when I heard Tommy teasing you, I just�wanted to do something to�make it a little brighter." He smiled at her.
"You did. So, do you feel any better about heights now?" she asked softly.
Their eyes met and locked. Sam remembered the reassuring sensation of Josie's hand on his. "Strangely�I do," he whispered.
Josie blushed at his answer, realizing they'd entered dangerous territory.
Searching her mind for a safe topic, Josie began chattering about James Joyce.
Sam looked relieved by Josie's quick change of subject. They wandered through the crowded carnival, chatting amiably about their favorite authors.
"You're remarkably well-read," Sam remarked, "I didn't read many of these works until I was in college."
Josie searched for something as close to the truth as possible. "I've always loved to read�I actually started quite early�I think I was about four�it became my way to escape�"
"Why did you need to escape, Josie?" Sam asked softly.
"Don't we all sometimes?"
"Yes�of course, but...My turn to ask you a personal question� If that's okay?" They stopped walking.
"I�guess so�"
"What hurt you so badly? You wrote an essay about it�how you're family helped you through something horribly painful�it was heart-wrenching."
Touched by his concern, Josie struggled to find a way to explain without revealing herself. "At my last school�I was�the biggest geek in school. I was the one that even the other geeks tormented. I endured all sorts of humiliations, but the worst was at the hands of the boy I had a crush on. What he did�I don't want to talk about it. But it was excruciating." She looked up at Sam, tears shimmering in her eyes.
Sam fought the urge to pull her into his arms and let her cry it out. He reached out a hand, wanting to wipe the tears from her cheeks, but dropped it when he remembered who he was. He settled for gently rubbing her shoulder. "I'm sorry," he said softly, "I wanted to make you feel better and now�I've made you cry."
Josie brushed the tears from her eyes. "It was a long time ago."
Sam tried to think of something to lighten the mood. "I can't believe I forgot to mention another of my favorite authors," he said dramatically.
"Who?" Josie asked. "Joyce? Keats? Shelley?"
Sam grinned, "Josie Geller."
Josie blushed delightedly at the compliment.
"Hey, are you hungry?" Sam asked. "'Cause I'm starving."
"I'm famished. I was too upset today to eat."
As they walked toward a food stand, Sam placed a hand on Josie's elbow to guide her through the crowd. A group of boys came tearing down the midway at break-neck speed. They crashed into Josie, buckling her ankle beneath her and propelling her backwards.
Instinctively, Sam grabbed for her. She landed firmly against his body, startling them both. Her hands were on his chest as he curved an arm around her shoulder and pulled her to her feet. He could feel her soft hair tickling his chin. It smelled of wildflowers. Unable to help himself, he inhaled softly. She looked up at him, her lips tantalizingly close to his.
Reluctantly, he released her. "You okay?"
"It's these stupid shoes," she said indicating her platform shoes, "I think I twisted my ankle."
Sam placed an arm around Josie's waist and guided her to a bench. He knelt down in front of her. "Which one?" he asked.
"Left."
He gently removed her left shoe and began massaging her ankle. He held her foot in his palm as he tried to determine the extent of her injury.
Josie gasped softly at the wonderful touch of his hands on her bare leg.
Sam heard her little gasp and took it for a gasp of pain. "Sorry," he apologized. "Just making sure nothing's broken�ankles can be tricky."
Josie relaxed. "So how'd you learn so much about first aid, Dr. Coulson?" she asked with a smile.
"I've seen�and suffered, I might add�a lot of injuries on the ice�so I took a basic first aid course." Convinced that it was nothing serious, he replaced her shoe and removed his hands from her ankle and foot.
Josie felt a terrible sense of loss. "So�what's my prognosis?"
"I don't think anything's broken�it might be a little sore tomorrow, though�you should probably keep it elevated and iced�and try to stay off of it. Why don't you rest here for a minute�I'll get us something to eat�and then I'll help you back to your car."
"Yes, doctor," Josie said, grinning.
He returned a few moments later balancing two hot dogs and two sodas. "Hope you like your hot dog with the works." He handed her a hot dog that was loaded with ketchup, mustard, relish and onions and set a drink beside her on the bench, then took a seat on the other side of her.
"The messier the better," she grinned, taking a bite. "Mmmm."
Sam grinned back and bit into his own. He watched as Josie took another blissful bite of her hot dog and then licked a dribble of ketchup from her hand. The image of the way her tongue lapped the back of her hand made Sam uncomfortably warm.
After they finished their hot dogs, Sam disposed of their trash. "How's that ankle feeling?"
"Still throbbing."
"Think you can make it to the parking lot? There's another path we can take, off the midway�less chance you'll get knocked around."
Josie stood up and winced as the tried to put her weight on her injured ankle. "Yooww�"
"Don't put any weight on it�you can lean on me." Sam put his arm around Josie's waist and Josie place her arm around his shoulders.
It was a delightfully torturous walk. Their hips kept brushing together as Josie hobbled along next to Sam. Technically, they could have moved farther apart to keep that from happening, but neither of them did.
After a few moments, Josie blushed and said, "I'm sorry."
Sam frowned. "Sorry for what?"
"My clumsiness ruined your evening."
"Like it's your fault those kids knocked you over? Besides�I did have a good time�"
"Really?" Josie asked hopefully.
"You're good company, Josie." Sam looked down and smiled at her.
"You, too." Josie grinned back.
They'd reached the edge of the parking lot. "So�where's your car?"
"About fifteen rows back�"
"Lucky for you, I was here early to set up South Glen's booths so I'm pretty close. I'll drive you back�" Sam helped Josie into his Jeep and followed her directions to her yellow Vega.
"Bambi?" he asked.
Josie nodded. "Yep."
"You do know that they recalled these, don't you?"
"So I've been told. She's a classic."
"If you say so."
He helped Josie from his Jeep. She unlocked her door and climbed in. As she began to pull the door shut, Sam stopped her.
"Let me take another look at that ankle." He knelt in front of her and examined it by the interior light of the car. It was swollen and had a huge purple bruise. "When you get home, put some ice on it and keep it elevated," Sam reminded her. "And if it still really hurts in the morning, you should have it x- rayed."
"Yes, doctor," Josie teased again, with a huge smile.
Sam smiled back, relieved to see her in better spirits. "Take it easy, okay�I think you've done enough damage for one day," he said.
Josie ruefully rubbed the bump on her forehead. "Black and blue from head to toe�that's me," she laughed. "See ya later!"
"Goodnight, Josie."
* * *
April 30, 1999 (cont.)
Whatever possessed me to get on that Ferris wheel? I didn't even think about it�I just saw Josie being teased�and suddenly I was handing the carnie a ticket. It didn't dawn on me until I heard the safety latch click into place that I was about to confront my biggest fear. Josie�she was so sweet�she noticed at once that I was afraid and�she reassured me�comforted me�put her hand on mine. (Did she notice that I almost jumped out of my seat?) What made me babble on to her about Lara? Especially since I have no intention of moving to New York and every intention of breaking things off with her. And then I did the stupidest thing I've ever done�I told her that when she's my age guys will be lined up around the block for her�and then I told her that I shouldn't have said that because I'm her teacher.I realized in that moment that I wanted to be the first one in line�in fact�the only one in line. As our eyes met�I knew that I wasn't in danger from the height of the Ferris wheel. I was in danger of falling head-over-heels in love. With Josie! How can this be happening? I can't let myself go there.
And yet�when she�literally�fell into my arms�it felt so amazingly right to have her there. I almost didn't let her go�almost succumbed to the magnetic pull that seems to draw us together. But somehow�at the last moment, I managed to remember the absolute impossibility of this situation.
Josie and I seem to have a connection that I've never experienced before, and seem to have little power to fight against. And that scares the heck out of me. I just wonder�how much longer I can hold out?
* * *