* * *
As Sam walked up and down the aisles he overheard Josie quietly talking to the girl beside her.
"God, I can't do this," said Tracie.
"Maybe because we're not supposed to be having sex with bananas," Josie said dryly.
Sam couldn't help but smirk at her humorous comment over having to practice their "prowess" with condoms on examples of yellow fruit.
"You know what, though?" Tracy leaned in closer to Josie and confided, "I feel like I'm really ready to do it. To have sex�for the first time."
"Wow," Josie said. "That's a big deal. You shouldn't do it until you know you've found the right person."
Josie didn't know that Sam had walked up behind them and was listening.
"You know Adelie penguins spend their whole lives looking for that one other penguin, and when they meet them, they know�and they spend the rest of their lives together."
Tracie frowned, not following Josie's train of thought. "But I'm not a penguin."
"Oh, it's an analogy," Sam said from behind them.
Josie jumped at the sound of his voice and let go of the small item she was trying to slip over the banana�and it flew off, hitting Sam in the face. He turned pink.
Josie turned to Tracie, placed her head in her hands and blushed. "Excuse me. I have to die now."
Fortunately for Josie, the intercom came on with a news bulletin from the student body president.
"Hey, guys�Sydney again! Bad news about the prom. East Glen East is gonna do millennium, too!"
Chaos reined at South Glen South. People screamed. People cried. One girl fainted. Sera squeezed her banana so hard it oozed out of its skin. Other kids beat their bananas against their desktops. Brett, totally stunned, peeled his banana and began to eat it.
"All right, guys, let's calm down," Sam called out over the tempest. "Calm down."
"Calm down, calm down!" He said, louder, over the din. No one paid attention.
"SIT!" he finally shouted.
Everyone sat�even the instructor.
"Okay�it's a prom theme. We just need a new idea."
"How about 'Under the Sea'?" the instructor suggested brightly from her perch behind him.
The class booed.
"How about 'The Eighties'?" Sam suggested.
The class groaned.
"What do you think we are?" Gibby said huffily. "Amateurs?"
"Josie," Guy said.
Sera frowned. "That's not a theme."
"No," Guy said, shaking his head. "Josie will have the answer," Guy pronounced.
A hush fell across the classroom.
Josie stood and looked at Tracie nervously. "How about�"
She looked around the room, searching for something, anything in the room that might inspire her�and her eyes Velcroed with Sam's expectant, encouraging green ones.
"How about�'Meant for Each Other,'" she murmured, "famous couples throughout history?"
Guy smiled. "Absolutely."
Josie smiled, soaking up their endorsement. Her eyes sought the approval of one that was way past the age of caring about prom themes�
Sam was smiling at her.
* * *
The bell rang, signaling the end of class. Josie was swept up in a crowd of her classmates, offering high-fives and congratulations. A soft touch on her shoulder sent prickles of heat down her arm. "Excuse me," she murmured as she turned and met Sam's eyes.
"Can you stop by my classroom at the end of the day? I'll need to get a better idea of what you have in mind�I'm the faculty advisor for the prom committee, you know."
"Sure," she said nervously. "I'll see you then." She smiled shyly as Kirsten, Kristen, and Gibby pulled her out the door. A bemused Anita looked from Sam to Josie and smiled knowingly.
* * *
Shortly after the final bell, Josie breezed into Sam's classroom. There was a new vivacity about her; the air around her seemed to be charged with electricity. She was wearing a simple blue blouse knotted beneath her breasts. A thin band of her creamy skin was exposed, filling Sam with a dangerous yearning. He couldn't seem to remember why he'd asked her here.
"Hey�how's your ankle? I notice you're not limping much today," he said, still forgetting the reason for their meeting.
"It's�okay�just a little bruised. So�you wanted to talk about the prom?" she said.
"Oh�yes. Seems like you made quite an impression," he teased.
Josie smiled. "I was inspired," she said, meeting his eyes. She quickly looked away, afraid of what he'd read there.
"'Meant for Each Other,'" Sam said softly, "what do you have in mind?"
Josie was mesmerized by his voice. "Oh�I'm thinking costumes�couples dress up as their favorite couple�Romeo and Juliet�Napoleon and Josephine�Mickey and Minnie. We'll have to change the d�cor�the music�everything should be�romantic."
"It's gonna be a lot of work to revamp the entire prom in a month. It's a good thing South Glen always has their prom as late as possible because of the contest�" Sam paused for a moment and then asked softly, "I was hoping�since it's your idea�would you join the prom committee?"
Josie imagined hours in Sam's company, working on a romantic prom. "Of course�I'd love to," she said softly.
Their eyes met. "We have a lot to do�but we'll find a way to make it fun�"
"I always have fun with..." Josie stopped mid-sentence, self-conscious. "With big projects," she covered, "I love to organize." Josie paused awkwardly for a moment before continuing. "I...umm...wanted to apologize to you for earlier...the incident..." she blushed.
Sam smiled at her gently. "That's okay. It was an accident...could have happened to anyone. Serves me right for eavesdropping, anyway. At least the news about the prom gave us both a chance to recover."
"I know. This must be such a pain for you. You've probably already put in hours of work on the prom and now you've got to start all over. I'm sure you've got better things to do than hang out with a bunch of teenagers and talk about crepe paper and centerpieces. I mean�you have that beautiful girlfriend�"
"First of all�I happen to love spending time with the kids. I'm only twenty-six�so I actually remember what it was like to be one�and I know how important prom is for seniors�and�my girlfriend�lives in New York and currently isn't taking my calls�"
"I'm sorry�I�that must be difficult�I just�admire what you're doing�you really care about them�us�I mean�not just teaching English literature�but about who we are�who we'll become. You're a remarkable person, Sa�so I just thought you should know that."
Sam smiled at her near-slip of the tongue. "You're pretty remarkable yourself, Josie Geller."
* * *
May 3, 1999
Today was an extraordinary day. I'll admit I was nervous about the sex-ed seminar�and the speaker was late. I was starting to worry that I'd have to do it myself, when she finally arrived. What a relief. I would've been a wreck talking about safe sex and contraception with Josie in the room.Pam Kitterman was a real straight-shooter with the kids�more up front about sex than I've ever seen before�and they seemed to get a lot out of it. Until the bananas, that is.
I never meant to eavesdrop on Josie's conversation�really. I was just walking up and down the aisles, making sure everyone was getting the point of the exercise when I heard her talking about the mating habits of Adelie penguins. It was such a beautifully expressed story�about searching for a soulmate�that I couldn't help but comment. I startled Josie. The condom she was trying to put on the banana flew out of her hand and hit me in the eye. Poor Josie looked mortified and I couldn't even look at her! I think I must have turned about six shades of pink.
Then�the news about the prom�and mass pandemonium. I have to admit I was extremely surprised when Guy Perkins declared that Josie would have the solution. I didn't think that Guy and his group even gave Josie a second thought, except to tease her. But she rose to the challenge�triumphantly! "Meant for Each Other�" Was it my imagination, or did she look at me for a moment before she said it? Anyway, it was an instant success, and so was Josie�she was beaming at finally getting acceptance from the "cool crowd."
I'm quite proud of her�she showed a great deal of courage and self-confidence today. And I'm delighted that she'll now be on the prom committee�of which I'm the faculty advisor. To think I'll have hours in her presence outside of the classroom�to get to know her.
I know I shouldn't let myself be this happy�but I find that I can't help myself�all I can think about is Josie Geller and her penguin story.
* * *
An emergency prom committee meeting was called for the next day, since it was less than four weeks until prom and there were major overhauls to be done. Sam, seated on one corner of his desk as usual, glanced up in surprise as Josie breezed into the room�arm in arm with Kirsten, Kristen, and Gibby. She exuded a radiant confidence�a by-product of her newfound acceptance and popularity. Josie Geller was now poised and sure of herself. She'd always been pretty; suddenly, though, she was stunning.
Guy Perkins strode into the room and plopped down next to Josie and her new friends. Sam instantly became aware that he wasn't the only one who'd noticed Josie's transformation. Guy couldn't keep his eyes off of her�and Rob�what was his last name?�seemed quite impressed with her as well. Sam had heard a rumor that they used to date, but they now seemed to be just close friends.
As the rest of the committee filtered in and took their seats, Sam called the meeting to order. Kirsten suggested that Josie head up the committee, since it was her idea, after all. The motion was quickly seconded, and Josie was unanimously approved as prom committee chairperson. She blushed�genuinely surprised�and walked to the front of the room. Smiling brightly, she perched on the other corner of Sam's desk.
Sam watched, transfixed, as shy Josie Geller took command of the room. She outlined her ideas and quickly assigned volunteers to the many tasks that needed to be done. Sam found himself eagerly agreeing to help her with several chores�anticipating any opportunity to spend time with her.
Later that evening, Sam sat in his darkened apartment, guiltily trying to reconcile his growing feelings for Josie. The situation seemed hopeless. She was still only seventeen and he was still her teacher. The telephone rang, abruptly dragging Sam from his musings.
"Hello," he said wearily.
"Sam�we�we need to talk," came Lara's voice over the telephone. For once she didn't sound angry with him. She sounded�sad.
"Yeah�you're right," Sam agreed, "we do need to talk. I've been trying to get in touch with you for a week."
"Sam�I've been thinking about this a lot�especially since the last time I came out there�I think�I think it's over�we're over. I think we should break up. I'm not happy with a long distance relationship�and you don't seem to want to do anything to change that," Lara said. "I'm not in love with you anymore�I'm not sure I ever really was�"
Sam was surprised by her candor. "I�appreciate the honesty. You're right. I don't want to move to New York. I'm sorry. I've been thinking about us a lot lately, too. I think we've been clinging to something that hasn't existed for a long time now, if it ever really did."
"Look, Sam�I need to be honest with you. I've met someone else�here in New York. He's a stockbroker�quite a successful one actually�and we have tons in common. I don't want to hurt you�"
"Lara," Sam interrupted. "It's okay�really. I've known this was coming for a while�I can't be who you want me to be�I don't want to pretend anymore�and�I think�I may have met someone, too." Sam was surprised by his own admission.
"So�who is she?" Lara asked.
"It's complicated�I just hope I can figure out a way to make it work. Lara�be happy, okay�if this guy's the right one for you�don't compromise�love's too important to compromise. A very wise person once told me that."
"For what it's worth, Sam, I do want you to be happy. I'm sorry for a lot of things�for trying to change you into what I wanted instead of letting you be yourself. Don't be a stranger�I hope after five years maybe we can part as friends?"
"Yeah, Lara�I think that would be nice. Listen�I've gotta go�"
"Bye, Sam."
Sam hung up the phone, shaking his head. He needed to unclutter his thoughts, so he pulled out his journal.
* * *
May 4, 1999
It feels good to finally have things with Lara resolved! And I'm happy for her�that she's found someone who can be everything that I'm not. Now if only I could find a solution to my other dilemma:I'm in love with Josie.
I don't know how I let it happen, but it has happened, and there's no stopping it now. I only know that when I'm near her, I'm happy. I feel complete. And I have no right to feel this way! But I do�I can't help myself. I can't say anything to her�I can't let her know how I feel, at least, not as long as she's my student. But she won't be my student forever. Four weeks until prom�followed by graduation. Do I dare to hope that maybe I could let her know how I feel then?
It would be horribly unfair of me to try to tie her down at this stage of her life. She should go to college�explore the world. I want this for her�but I want to be a part of her life�and if I have a chance for a life with Josie�I'll wait for her.
I'll call the admissions guy at Dartmouth about her. They have a fabulous English department�she'd do extremely well there. And it wouldn't hurt anything for me to send out a few resumes to high schools in the vicinity�
* * *
* * *