* * *
Josie wouldn't even look at Sam as she handed him her late pass and took her seat in English. She appeared distraught. She was wearing the same dress she'd worn last night. Her eyes were reddened, a little puffy, as if she'd been crying. She had a large, purple lump on her forehead. She sat stiffly at her desk, hands folded and eyes downcast. Sam wished there were some way he could comfort her.
Aldys entered and Sam hoped that perhaps she would be able to shake Josie from her depression, but Aldys ignored her completely. Sam struggled through his lesson, grateful when the bell finally rang.
Josie gathered up her things and rushed towards the door. "Josie," he said softly, "do you have a moment?"
She just continued walking, either not hearing him or ignoring him. Sam frowned deeply.
At the end of the day, Sam spotted her talking to a boy that he didn't recognize. She appeared to be crying again. Sam moved closer to offer support.
"Oh, Rob," she cried, "I've made such a mess of everything. I'm still just a big loser."
Rob put his arm around her shoulders. "Aw, c'mon Jos, you know that's not true. You're one of my favorite people in the whole world."
"It's so good to have a least one person who really cares about me here," she sniffled.
"Hey�I know just what you need�a nice big chocolate milkshake�what do you say?"
"Chocolate cures all ills?" Josie let just a little hint of a smile show.
Sam chuckled. Deciding that it was stupid to be lurking in corridors listening in on conversations, he approached the pair. Josie looked up as he walked toward them. She also gave him the tiniest hint of a smile.
"Hi," she said quietly.
"Hey�you feeling better?" he said with true concern. "I was worried about you."
"A little," she said with a tiny smile, "this is Rob�my�br�friend. Rob�this is Mr. Coulson, my English teacher."
"Hey," said Rob.
"I haven't seen you around before�are you new?"
"Just transferred."
"Rob and I are old friends," Josie said.
"Oh," said Sam, "then you must be from Scranton, too."
Rob gave Josie a puzzled look. She glared at him. "Uh�yeah�Scranton, P. A.," he covered. "Jos, I'll meet you out by Bambi." He walked off down the hall.
Sam raised one eyebrow quizzically. "Bambi?"
"My car."
"You named your car Bambi?"
"It's a long story."
"So�do you think you're going to go to Navy Pier tonight?" he asked.
"I�I'm not sure�" she said hesitantly. "Other than Rob�and you�no one's talking to me."
"C'mon�it'll be fun�it might even cheer you up. Will I see you there?" he asked a little too hopefully.
"Maybe."
* * *
April 30, 1999 (cont.)
Josie seemed terribly upset today. She wouldn't talk to me, wouldn't even look at me and she had a nasty looking bruise on her head. My heart ached for her...her pain seemed so deep. I longed to hold her in my arms...to let her cry it out. But of course that's impossible...and I feel like the lowest of the low for even thinking it.I ran into her later talking with some new kid�Rob, I think his name was. She was crying again. She seemed to know him pretty well�he had his arm around her shoulders. And I felt a little jealous that someone else was comforting her�and that I couldn't.
I hope she comes to Senior Nite at Navy Pier tonight; it might cheer her up. Ha! Who am I kidding? I want her to come so that I can bump into her and get another chance to talk to her. Lord, I've got to get a grip on these feelings.
* * *
Sam wandered the midway at Navy Pier, scouring the crowd for a certain blond head. When she failed to turn up, he positioned himself at one of South Glen's fundraising booths located near the entrance, hoping to see her as she walked in. He made a pretty good show of throwing pies at Brett, but he kept longing for a glimpse of her.
His wish came true as he spotted her in line for the Ferris wheel. She handed her ticket to the carnie and climbed into the basket. Sam walked toward the ride, planning to wait for her to get off.
"Where's your partner?" the carnie asked.
"I don't�I don't have one," she mumbled, looking down into her lap.
The carnie turned toward the crowd and, cupping his greasy hand to his mouth barked out, "I got a lonely ride in bucket five! Single!"
"Do you have to yell it like that?" Josie hissed.
Guy's buddy Tommy, in the bucket behind her jeered, "Of course, it's Loser holding up the ride."
Sam saw Josie cringe at Tommy's rude remark. Without thinking, he approached the Ferris wheel and handed the carnie a ticket.
"This seat taken?" he asked softly.
Her eyes flew open. Sam smiled at her. She scooted over to make room. "Thank you," she said, "Thank you.'
"Your welcome." Sam swallowed hard as the carnie fastened the safety bar and the ride jerked into motion.
"Whoa!" he said nervously. He clutched the safety bar tightly as the ride glided backwards. "Whoa!"
Josie glanced at Sam. "Are you�scared?" she whispered.
Sam cleared his throat. "I'm gonna tell you something here, and I hope it doesn't undermine my position as an authority figure."
Josie looked at him expectantly.
"I'm a little afraid of heights."
"You're afraid of the Ferris wheel?" she asked gently.
He grinned. "Actually, it's more the plunging headfirst into the crowd part that gets me."
"I bet you'd feel better with that Gordie Howe helmet on, huh?" Josie smiled at him.
"Hey," he said softly, clearly touched. "You remember that story?"
"Of course. I remember everything that you say�in your classroom."
They smiled at each other. It suddenly felt like they were the only two people at the fair.
But their bucket swaying dramatically interrupted the moment. Josie glanced up. Tommy was seriously rocking the bucket ahead of them. She noticed that Sam looked a little green as they crested the top of the ride and began to fall to earth. "Yoooow," Sam said, under his breath.
Josie laid a hand on his and told him, "Don't look down." She squeezed his hand softly.
Sam closed his eyes, surprised by his reaction to her simple touch. "Out of my control," he replied. Tommy rocked his seat again, which jostled the one Josie and Sam were in.
At last Sam kind of lost it and shouted, "Tommy! Cut it out! Enough!"
Tommy stopped.
Sam turned to look at Josie with a slightly embarrassed smile. "I said that as a chaperone."
Josie laughed, and Sam seemed to relax. The Ferris wheel bottomed out and began its slow ascent again.
"Okay," he said, reassuring himself. "This is okay. Smooth."
Josie smiled at him again. Her heart melted as she realized that the Ferris wheel terrified him. Which meant that he never would have chosen to ride it on his own. He'd climbed on board to rescue her.
"Can I ask you something?" Sam asked.
She nodded.
"Do you think I tell too many stories in class?"
"That's what makes you interesting," Josie murmured. "As a teacher."
"God, I would love to think I'm an interesting teacher," he said. "I mean, I had maybe one or two teachers in high school who had any passion at all."
"You do. Seem to. Have passion." Josie's mouth felt dry. "In the classroom," she added.
He chuckled. "You have to say that. You're my student."
"I don't have to say that."
Their eyes met as the Ferris wheel carried them into the starry sky.
A jolt from the bucket ahead of them sent their seat rocking again.
"If the bucket's a-rockin', don't come a-kno-kno-knockin'!" Tommy hooted. Josie and Sam laughed uncomfortably.
"Mr. Coulson rocks my world," Tommy yelled.
Sam glared at the bottom of Tommy's bucket. "Boys."
"I know," Josie said.
"I'd like to tell you that we all grow out of it, but that's a lie. Some of us will always be rattling cages."
"Why do you do that?" Josie asked seriously.
"I don't know," he said honestly. "And you know what's scary�when you get older, it just gets more confusing." He glanced at Josie. "You know Lara, my girlfriend you met at the club? We've been going out for five years and now�she wants me to move to New York."
"And I should do it�you know�make the commitment and�grow up," Sam went on, sounding as if he were trying to convince himself. "I mean, I know we have our differences�"
He glanced at Josie. She was watching him, listening carefully. Sam suddenly realized that he was talking�a lot�and Josie hadn't spoken.
"I'm sorry. I shouldn't be talking about this stuff with you."
"It's nice to have someone to talk to�"
Their eyes met, again, briefly. "Same here," he whispered.
The Ferris wheel stopped with the two of them swaying gently at the very top. Sam looked over at Josie. "All I can tell you," he said softly, "is that when you're my age, guys will be lined up around the block for you."
Josie smiled shyly and looked away. "You have to say that because you're my teacher."
Sam glanced at her again. "Actually�I shouldn't say that because I'm your teacher."
Their smiles faded as they sat there alone together, far above the rest of the world, and realized they weren't in danger of falling head over heels to the ground. They were in danger of falling head over heels in love.
Then the Ferris wheel jerked, carrying them back to earth.
When they reached the ground, Sam jumped out and reached for Josie's hand to help her down. "Thanks, Josie. That wasn't as bad as I thought."
"When are you going to open your eyes?"
"I'm thinking when I'm home."
* * *