* * *
June 3, 1999
My stomach's in knots and I can't get my damned bow tie knotted. I'm so nervous�I've decided that if the moment comes�I'll tell her how I feel�that I want to wait for her�that she's the one�I've written her a letter�I'm afraid speech will fail me�* * *
Sam glanced at the card he'd been handed as he took the stage with Ms. Knox to announce the prom court. The first three names he'd expected; the last name, though, was a surprise. Sam caught a glimpse of Josie, waiting expectantly with Guy. She smiled up at him.
"Well, the moment has arrived," he said cheerfully. "Our 1999 prom court! And the princesses are�Miss Kristen Davis, Miss Kirsten Leosis, and Miss Gibby Zarefsky." Sam watched as the three girls linked arms and sashayed their way to the stage.
"And the princes are�" announced Marilyn Knox, "Mr. Thomas Salamey, Mr. Jason Way, and Mr. Rob�" She looked at the card and frowned. Sam glanced over her shoulder and noticed that there was no last name listed for Josie's friend. "Mr. Rob�" she said again.
"Mr. Rob!" exclaimed Rob as he bounced toward the stage and kissed Ms. Knox on the lips.
She blushed. "And your 1999 prom king�Guy Perkins."
Sam watched Guy, unsurprised by the announcement, make his way to the stage. He took a deep breath. "And now�this year's prom queen�" Sam paused as his eyes caught Josie's. He smiled broadly. "Ladies and gentlemen�Josie Geller."
Sam watched as shock and delight played across Josie's face. Slowly she made her way to the stage to stand beside him. She turned to face him as someone handed him a rhinestone tiara. Their eyes locked as Sam, grinning with delight, placed the queen's tiara on Josie's head. His fingers trembled as they brushed her soft hair. She was practically in his arms; she smelled of wildflowers and her scent intoxicated him.
The flash of a camera brought Sam back to the present. Sam slipped a bouquet of flowers into Josie's trembling hands. Again, their fingertips touched, and their eyes locked for a moment.
Then Sam cleared his throat, remembering where he was�and who he was.
"And now, as is custom, the king and queen will have their first dance." Reluctantly he turned Josie over to Guy.
He watched as Guy led Josie onto the dance floor and swept her into his arms for a slow dance. Guy smiled at something Josie said. She laughed softly at his reply. He drew her closer. The ache in Sam's heart grew stronger. Josie looked up and caught him watching her over Guy's shoulder. The expression on her face was one of sadness, as if she didn't really want to be there. Yet again, their eyes connected. Absently, Sam patted the breast pocket of his jacket as he descended from the stage. His eyes never left Josie.
As other couples joined them on the dance floor, Sam watched Josie excuse herself from Guy and head to the buffet table. Sam found himself following her. "Hey," he said softly.
"Hi," she replied with a smile.
"Wow, Josie," Sam whispered. "You make a really beautiful prom queen."
Josie blushed at the compliment as if she wasn't used to receiving them. "Really?"
Sam nodded, smiling down at her.
"Thanks," Josie murmured. "So do you."
They both laughed, embarrassed at Josie's flub.
"I always feel like such a goofball in these penguin suits," Sam said, pulling at the lapel of his tuxedo. "Like I'm at my own wedding or something."
For some reason that made them both blush.
Sam cleared his throat and rocked on his heels. "You wanna�" He gestured toward the dance floor.
Surprised, Josie touched a hand to her chest. "Me?" Josie nodded shyly. "Okay."
Sam took her by the hand and led her into the dance. He wanted to draw her close in his arms like most of the rest of the couples on the dance floor but had to settle for a more proper distance. Still, the sensation of Josie in his arms made it difficult for Sam to think as Josie relaxed into his embrace.
"Proms always make me a little sad," Sam murmured. "They're so final. Graduation. Everyone's scattering, moving on."
Josie looked up at Sam and asked, "Is your girlfriend here?"
"No." Sam said, his voice a mere whisper. "I'm alone�Actually, we broke up�"
Their eyes met as Josie moved ever so slightly closer to Sam. "That's funny, because prom comes from promenade. And you can't promenade alone�"
She looked up into his eyes, and the feelings she couldn't hide behind her nervous chatter shone there.
Sam heard what she was really saying, and smiled. "You're amazing, Josie Geller." He pulled her a tiny bit closer.
"Have you thought anymore about Dartmouth?" Sam asked Josie.
"Yes," she said.
There was an emotion in Josie's eyes that Sam couldn't name. Her lips trembled a little as she smiled up at Sam. "There's something I want to tell you�"
She removed her hand from his arm and plucked her wing pin from the bodice of her dress. Sam heard a soft plink as it hit the floor, a crunch as Josie's heel trampled the lost object.
Sam Coulson looked deeply into Josie Geller's eyes. He swallowed and took a deep, nervous breath. "There's something I want to tell you, too�"
Josie blushed in his arms and dropped her eyes from his. She glanced around the room, searching for an escape for them. Then suddenly, a stricken look crossed her face as she yanked herself from his embrace. He heard the tinkle of a can as it hit the floor and rolled. He heard the accusations of South Glen's elite popular girls, who were now somehow covered in dog food.
"Let me tell you something," Josie said quietly.
Nobody moved.
Josie took a deep breath, then said, "I don't care about being your stupid prom queen." She pulled the tiara from her hair and flung it across the dance floor.
"I'm twenty-five years old."
Sam felt as if he'd been punched in the stomach.
"I'm an undercover reporter for the Chicago-Sun Times and I've been beating my brains out trying to impress you people�"
Sam couldn't breathe. He blindly stumbled through the crowd in a desperate need for air. He found himself in the cool night air of the deserted courtyard. He struggled to catch his breath, to make sense of what he'd just heard. He sank onto a bench and covered his face with his hands.
"She'll explain," Sam thought. "Please let there be a reasonable explanation�" Sam replayed the events of the past two months in his brain. "Oh, God�please�it can't all be lies. These feelings�what I saw in her eyes�that can't be a lie."
He heard the click of heels on the pavement but didn't move. A deep masculine voice said, "We lost the feed�Gus is going nuts�he's calling every five minutes. Please tell me you got something on Coulson�"
"No�I�" came Josie's soft voice.
Sam stood and turned to face them. The tall black man with Josie muttered something to her and retreated.
Guilt and shame filled Josie's eyes.
"So�surprise," she said lamely.
Sam shook his head in disbelief and walked off. Gathering her skirts, Josie ran after him.
He turned back to face her. "'Surprise' you were doing a story on me?"
"No. I couldn't. Surprise, I thought you'd be�"
"What?" Sam said bitterly. "Happy? Why? Because all of a sudden I'm allowed to be attracted to you?"
"You were attracted to me?"
"Goddammit, Josie! You set me up," he said, "for a story."
"No�I�"
Sam shook his head, his eyes cold and hard. "Drop the act. Every word out of your mouth has been a complete lie. I don't know you at all."
"If we could spend some time together, you could get to know me again�" Josie begged softly.
Sam glared at her, then turned to walk away.
"Please," Josie pleaded. "Please don't walk away."
Sam turned slowly, pain, confusion and betrayal on his face. "I just can't look at you the same way."
Sam tore his eyes from Josie's and slowly walked to his car.
* * *
June 3, 1999 (cont.)
How could I have been so completely wrong about her? She's been deceiving me for two months�she's really a twenty-five-year-old undercover reporter. And I Was going to be her story�maybe I still am. I've got to get away for a while to think. My lease is up�maybe I'll put my stuff in storage and get out of Chicago for the summer�God knows if I'll have a job to come back to in the fall. I am such a fool. She had that innocent act down pat�and I fell for it hook, line and sinker.* * *
Sam steeled himself as he walked into his classroom. The halls of South Glen South were abuzz with tales from the prom, sending little daggers of pain to his heart every time he heard her name.
The second period bell rang. Josie's class. His students were chattering, signing yearbooks, sharing summer plans.
Sam stared at the empty desk in the front row. Memories flooded his mind. God help him, but he missed her. Sam paled as a wave of nausea rocked him.
"Excuse me," he muttered, running from the room.
He never made it back to class. After reaching the nearest men's room just in time to lose his breakfast, Sam walked weakly to the main office.
Ruth, the receptionist, glanced up her eyes filling with concern as she noticed Sam's pale face.
"You don't look so good, Sam�"
"I�think I'm coming down with something�is Jack in?"
Ruth buzzed Jack Kerdan's office. "Mr. Kerdan? Sam Coulson's out here�I believe he's ill�"
Jack's office door opened. He looked at Sam. "Go home. I'll cover your classes for the rest of the day�nothing going on but yearbook signing anyway."
"Thanks, Jack," Sam said weakly. "I owe you one."
Sam returned to his classroom to gather his things and mutter a quick goodbye. "I'll see you all at graduation�" He walked out the door and headed to his car. He closed his eyes briefly as he turned the ignition key.
Sam entered his apartment and sank into his leather chair, wondering when the unbearable pain in his heart would subside. The telephone rang but Sam was in no mood to talk to anyone. The machine beeped and the tape clicked on.
"Sam, its Mom. Just wanted to remind you about next weekend�"
Sam wearily picked up the phone. "I'm here."
"What's wrong? You don't sound good," said Sarah Coulson with concern.
"I think I'm coming down with something�"
"It's more than that�I can tell. Does this have something to do with Lara?"
"No, Mom. I told you we broke up."
"Sam�"
"There was this girl�woman�in my class�I fell for her even though I thought she was seventeen. Turns out she's really a heartless liar�a twenty-five- year-old undercover reporter�and I was going to be her story."
There was a long silence. Then, "Have you talked to her? Given her a chance to explain?"
"What's to explain, Mom? She lied about everything. I hope I never hear her name again�Can I come up there for a while? I need to get out of Chicago�away from her and everything that reminds me of her�"
"Sam, you know you're always welcome. But do you really think running away is the answer?"
"Yeah, right now, I do. I'll see you Sunday, okay?"
"Bye, Sam."
"Bye."
* * *
June 5, 1999
I keep trying to hate her and I can't. Maybe I should have given her a chance to explain�she did say she wanted to tell me something. Could she have been ready to come clean? I want to believe it�but I'm afraid to trust her. I don't know what was fact and what was fiction.Almost everything's packed. I've just got a few trophies left to wrap up and then I'm out of here. Maybe some distance will relieve the ache in my heart.
I tried to throw away the picture of us the day we painted the sunset�and each other. But I keep pulling it out of the trash�maybe I should pick up the phone�give her one more chance�
* * *
For about the hundredth time since the prom Sam picked up the telephone and began punching in Josie's number. As usual, he hung up before dialing the last number. Once he'd actually let it ring, heard her soft voice before hanging up. "You, Sam Coulson, are both a fool and a coward."
He picked up his journal and thumbed through it, scanning the entries he'd made since Josie Geller entered his life. Despite everything...her deception...her lies...he acknowledged that he was still in love with her. Sam frowned and stuffed the journal into his briefcase. The movers would be here soon and he still had packing to finish. He opened up the newspaper and pulled out the "Life and Style" section, but his mind was on packing, and things lost, not news features, so he did not notice the photos of his ex-student, Josie Geller, staring out from the front page, didn't stop to read her story. He carried the section over to the bookshelf in the living room and slowly, carefully, began to use the newspaper to wrap up the tarnished, dented trophies from his youth. Almost done now. Soon he'd be out of Chicago.
He started to dump one of the wrapped trophies into a cardboard box when something caught his eye.
Her eyes. Staring back at him from between the crumples of the paper.
* * *