Editor's note: This is a continuation of the "Sam's Journal" series that follows Sam and Josie past the end of the film.
* * *
Sam unwrapped the newspaper and smoothed out the wrinkles. A tear streamed down his face as he read Josie's touching article. Not an expose about him, but a deeply personal story about herself, about being a loser, about trying to fit in.
Sam's heart began to pound as he continued reading:
This is not the article I was sent in to write. This is the article I needed to write. I lived a lifetime of regret after my first high-school experience, and now, after my second, my regrets are down to one.
A certain teacher was trampled in my path to self-discovery, and though this article may serve as a step it in no way makes up for what I did to him.
To this man, you know who you are, I am so sorry.
And I would like to add one more thing.
I think I am in love with you.
And so I propose this. As an ending to this article, and, perhaps, as beginning to the next chapter of my life, I, Josie Geller, will be at the state championship baseball game, where my friends, the South Glen Rams, are playing for the title.
I will stand on the pitcher's mound for the five minutes prior to the first pitch. If this man accepts my apology, I ask him to come kiss me, in front of everyone, for my first real kiss.
Five minutes may seem like a short time, but trust me, when you've been waiting twenty-five years, it's usually the last five minutes that kill you.
I went back to high school and discovered I was a loser, again. And then I discovered it wasn't so bad. I wasn't so bad. So now that I'm ready to start living the rest of my life, it would be magical if I could live the rest of it with him.
Because inside everyone is a loser afraid to be loved, and out there is the one person who can kiss us and make it all better.
Sam dropped the newspaper and looked at his watch. He had fifteen minutes.
He raced out the door and jumped into his Jeep. As he neared the stadium, traffic stopped. Everyone, it seemed, wanted to see if Josie's mystery man would show up. He was still blocks away when he heard her voice on the radio.
"May I have five minutes on the clock, please?" The countdown had begun.
Sam pounded the dashboard in frustration. "I have to make it�I can't let her stand there waiting."
He flipped on his flashers and jumped out of the car, ready to run for it, when he heard the siren behind him.
"Hey buddy�what do you think you're doing? You can't leave your car there," the motorcycle cop yelled. "I got a major traffic situation goin' on here�somethin' weird happenin' at the baseball game."
"Please�" Sam pleaded, "you have to help me. I've got to get to that game or I'll lose her!"
The policeman's eyes widened just a little. "You�you're the teacher?"
"Yes�please help me," Sam begged.
"Hop on." Sam climbed on the motorcycle behind the officer. Siren blaring, they weaved through the traffic. When they reached the gate, Sam jumped off and tore up the stairs. He was halfway up when he heard the buzzer. He was late. "Hang on, Josie�I'm here." The crowd was deafeningly silent.
When he reached the bleachers and started running down into the stadium, the crowd began cheering again.
Josie, head down, looked up to see what they were yelling about. And then she saw him.
Their eyes locked and Sam smiled at her as he ran toward her. He pulled her into his arms and kissed her, an amazing kiss, the kiss she'd been waiting for all of her life.
He slowly lifted his lips from hers, needing to breathe.
"Sorry I'm late," he said breathlessly. "It took me forever to get here." He gently ran his thumb down her cheek.
Tears glistened on Josie's lashes. "I know what you mean," she said simply.
Sam pulled her close and kissed her again, more deeply, more passionately than before. Fireworks exploded above the stadium, but they didn't notice. The crowd continued to cheer, but Sam and Josie didn't hear them.
When they finally felt the need to breathe again, they looked up to find the South Glen Rams pitcher grinning at them. "Uh�Mr. Coulson�Josie�we do have a game to play here�" he said.
Sam smiled down at Josie. "I think we should get out of here," he said simply. Hand in hand, they walked off the field.
Rob was waiting by the dugout in his assistant coach's jacket. Sam was surprised when he embraced them both. She looked up at Sam sheepishly and introduced, "Sam�I'd like you to meet my brother, Rob."
Sam started to laugh as he shook Rob's hand. "So, there were two of you? I doubt South Glen will ever recover from the shock."
Rob grinned and replied, "And you don't even know the most shocking parts yet�"
Josie punched Rob in the arm and gave him an 'I'll get you for that' look. Then to Sam she said, "Let's get out of here�I've got a lot to tell you."
"I've got a lot to tell you, too. But the only thing that really matters is this: I'm in love with you, Josie Geller."
"Oh, Sam�I love you so much."
When they finally reached the parking lot, Sam pulled Josie into his arms for another kiss. "Where to?" he said breathlessly.
"We can go to my place," Josie said, "no one will bother us there. Where's your jeep parked, anyway?"
"About five blocks back, stuck in the traffic jam�if it hasn't been towed yet, that is. I finally got here with the help of one of Chicago's finest." He grinned down at her. "Do you mind if we stop by my place first? I ran out so fast I don't even know if I shut the door."
Josie grinned, trying to imagine Sam in such a rush to get to her that he'd forget something like that. "That's fine."
"I need to warn you�it's a mess. Everything I own is packed in boxes�it was all going to go into storage while I went off to nurse my broken heart."
"Sam�I'm so sorry�" Josie began, tears welling up in her eyes.
"Josie, it's okay� Listen, what you did tonight�the article you wrote for me�is the bravest and most romantic thing I've ever seen. You are truly amazing, Josie Geller."
When they reached Sam's Jeep, they found a ticket slipped beneath one of the wipers. Sam pulled it out and laughed as he read it. He handed it to Josie; it said: "Hope you got your girl. Regards, Officer Flaherty. PS--I turned off the ignition for you."
"I can't believe you left your Jeep running in the middle of a traffic jam!" Josie laughed.
"Guess I had more important things on my mind," Sam grinned.
Despite Sam's warning, Josie was startled to see how close they'd come to losing each other forever. Tears stained her face as Sam showed her the rumpled newspaper. Sam gathered her in his arms and simply held her. "Josie�I behaved like an idiot at the prom. I should have given you a chance to explain. How can I ever express how deeply moved I was by your story? How grateful I am that you weren't willing to give up without a fight. Can you forgive me for being such a coward?"
"Of course, I can! After all, you forgave me for deceiving you for weeks, and you showed up tonight. I... One statement in my article wasn't quite true, though. I don't just think I'm in love with you, I know I'm in love with you."
"As if that needed clarifying, considering what you just did," he teased gently.
"So...where were you going, anyway?"
"Home...Wisconsin." Then Sam chuckled and said, "The movers were sure surprised when I sent them packing on my way to you."
Josie smiled. "Sam," she said as she looked around the room, "where are you planning on sleeping tonight?"
"Actually, I haven't given that any thought. Do you have any ideas?" he asked teasingly.
"Well�you could just stay at my place," Josie said shyly.
"I do have a bag packed�" he joked. "Seriously, though, are you sure you're okay with this?"
"It's fine�really�I honestly don't know if I'll be able to let go of you tonight, anyway."
Sam picked up his duffel bag and pulled the door shut behind them.
Sam found Josie's apartment as warm and inviting as she was. He smiled when he noticed the tank, which contained her two turtles. "You really do have turtles?"
"Macbeth and Macduff. Do you mind if I change?" Josie asked nervously.
"Of course not," Sam said, "I'm not going anywhere."
She disappeared into the bedroom and came out a few minutes later wearing a tee shirt and denim shorts. "That feels much better." Josie sank onto the loveseat next to Sam. He drew her into his arms and pulled her legs across his lap. He tilted her face to meet his eyes and gave her a gentle kiss.
"So�what's the really shocking part?"
"I think maybe I should just start at the beginning and work up to it. At least then you'll understand the reasons for it�"
"I was working as a copy editor at the Sun-Times, but I wanted to write. Gus�that's my editor�"
"Uncle Gus."
"Uh huh�he'd used five of my ideas, but he always gave them to another reporter�he didn't think I had what it takes to be a reporter. Anyway�one day I was sitting in a staff meeting and Rigfort�the publisher�decided that he wanted to do an undercover story on what teenagers are like today. So he looked around the conference room and since I was the youngest one in the room�he decided that I would go back to high school. I was thrilled at first, but Anita, she's my best friend at work, and Gus were pretty quick to burst my bubble. Neither of them thought I could do it�but I convinced Gus to give me a chance."
"Then I went to Rob to see if I could borrow Bambi�"
"Your car, Bambi?"
"That hideous yellow Vega I've been driving is actually Rob's car. When I told Rob about my assignment, he reminded me of just how horrible high school had been for me the first time around."
"Tell me."
"They called me 'Josie Grossie.' I had braces and bad hair and I never fit in. It didn't help that I was smart�it made it worse. They did terrible, cruel things to me, Sam�I'll tell you sometime�but prom night was the worst. Billy Prince, the cutest boy in school, asked me to the prom. I had a huge crush on him and I was so excited�I had a new dress�at the time I thought it was beautiful, but it was actually pretty awful. He called from the phone in the limousine so I went outside to wait for him. It was like a dream�a sleek black limousine turned the corner. Suddenly, Billy stood up through the sunroof�along with a beautiful blonde cheerleader. I didn't understand�until they began throwing raw eggs at me�"
"Oh, Josie," Sam said. He gently brushed the hair back from her face and wiped the tears from her lashes with his thumbs.
Josie looked up to see tears glistening in Sam's eyes. He leaned down and kissed her gently. "How did you survive that? I think you must be the strongest person I know."
Josie smiled, caressing Sam's cheek with her hand. "Are you really here?"
Sam nodded.
"The first day at South Glen was pretty bad. Anita picked out that white outfit with the feathers and did my makeup�she thought she was helping, but the outfit was not exactly a hit. Then I was late for Mrs. Knox's class and�"
"Not�the sombrero!"
"Yep�and then Guy Perkins came in. He reminded me of Billy Prince and I got flustered, so I made up that stupid story about Bali�to cover. There was one good moment that day, though." Josie smiled. "My new English teacher introduced himself to me as Sam Coulson�and he actually had the nerve to smile at me."
Sam laughed at the memory.
"You know�I never could think of you as Mr. Coulson�to me you were always just Sam."
"You called me that once�do you remember?"
Josie shook her head, confused.
"The night at Club Delloser� Well, I was really concerned about you. You weren't acting like yourself�I thought maybe someone had slipped you something. So when I got home, I found your number on my class list and called you to make sure you'd gotten home all right. I woke you up, I think, and when you said goodbye you said, 'Night, Sam.'"
"That wasn't a dream?"
"Nope. Definitely not a dream."
Josie blushed a little, but was smiling. "Where was I? Oh, yeah� English teacher�really cute too� I thought I blew it when I defined pastoral for you. You asked me if I was sure I was seventeen. The day got worse after that�I tried to make friends with Kirsten, Kristen and Gibby and wore my chocolate milk in the process. Guy sat down with us and I got so flustered that he finally asked me if I was in Special Ed. And then I had gym class�what a nightmare to have to go through that again. Finally, when the day was over, I went outside to discover that Guy and his pals had hidden my car. Aldys came to my rescue then�she was the second person to be nice to me that day."
"So�I started hanging out with the Denominators�and I thought things were going okay until�I got scooped. The Trib ran a story about the Court�you know it?"
Sam nodded. "I've heard of it. The in-crowd's party spot."
"Gus was furious with me�which leads me to the really shocking part of the story. The mini-cam."
"Mini-cam? As in hidden camera?"
Josie nodded. "Do you remember the wing pin that I used to wear all the time?"
"Yes. I was curious about its significance. You took it off at the prom."
"It was actually a camera. From then on everything I did�or anyone around me did or said was recorded on videotape so that Gus could review it and find my story."
Sam paled. "So�Gus was watching everything?"
"Not just Gus. My life became like a soap opera�people at the Sun-Times crowded into Gus' office to watch my life at high school." Josie hid her face in Sam's shoulder. "Apparently, they were especially interested in the romance that seemed to be developing�between us. I felt terrible�but my job and Gus' were on the line."
"Josie, have you seen any of the tapes?" Sam asked quietly.
"Just�just one�do you remember the day before prom? The time that�"
"The time that I almost kissed you?" Sam murmured.
"Yes. I had a meeting with Gus that afternoon. He had decided that you were my story. I was sick about it�I knew there was no way I could do what he wanted, but I had to find another story."
"Anyway�after the story appeared in the Trib, Gus told me he wanted me to be friends with the popular kids, since that was were the stories were. I came close to quitting�but Rob actually convinced me to stick it out. He told me that all I'd need was one cool person to accept me and I'd be in. I didn't know then what he was planning."
"The day I started wearing the camera, was the same day I ran into you and Lara at Club Delloser. I tried to approach Guy and his friends, but they closed ranks on me and shut me out. So I ended up sitting with a bunch of Rastafarians�they seemed really sweet and they gave me a big piece of chocolate cake to eat�"
"No way�Josie you didn't," Sam started laughing. "You must not be up on your Gertrude Stein."
"I didn't know that you could eat marijuana�"
"No wonder you got up on stage with the band�you were higher than a kite."
"I�got up�on the stage�with the band?"
"Yep�quite a performance�too bad the video of that is from your perspective," he teased. "How did you get home? I was worried about you."
"George�the video guy�you saw him at the prom�and his girlfriend made sure I got home."
"The next day was the worst day I had at South Glen South. I'd fallen asleep at the kitchen counter, with my head on my hand�my hand that was stamped with Delloser. I woke up really late and just ran out the door�I didn't change my clothes or even look in the mirror. I got to school and started walking down the hall�and everyone was calling me 'loser'. I ran into the bathroom to splash some water on my face and realized I had the word loser tattooed on my forehead. I was mortified�it brought back all of those painful memories from my first time through high school. After I puked my guts out, I just wanted to get the hell out of there�so I started running and ran straight into a door."
"When I opened my eyes, Rob was there. He'd faked an I.D. and registered at South Glen�hoping he could get on the baseball team and maybe help out his big sister in the process. Rob never had any problem fitting in�he was in with the popular kids at South Glen in just over three hours. Then he started his campaign to make me popular."
"Let me guess�heiress to the ex-lax fortune�yacht in the south of France�dated the drummer from the Big Bad Voodoo Daddies, among others�ex-girlfriend of South Glen's newest jock?" Sam chuckled as he recited some of the stories he'd heard.
"I didn't realize that stuff made it to the faculty."
"I'm sure most of them didn't hear it�or pay attention to it�but where things concerned you�I seemed to have some sort of radar," Sam said sweetly. "So Rob was building you up�and then you saved the prom�so�you were in?"
Josie nodded. "Oh�I almost forgot about the sex ed seminar and Anita."
Sam gave Josie a puzzled look.
"Do you remember Pam Kitterman from the sex ed seminar?"
"I'd never heard anyone talk quite so frankly about sex with a bunch of teenagers�at first I wasn't sure�but she really seemed to make an impact."
"The Pam Kitterman who taught that class was really my friend Anita." Josie confessed. "She came by on her lunch hour to say hi�I still can't figure out how she got past security�but Anita is quite a flirt�so I'm sure it wasn't difficult for her. You saw me motioning to her in the hallway�and concluded that she was Pam�and, well, she is sort of an expert on the subject."
Sam laughed, "So I noticed�can't wait to meet her again!"
"Finally, I was accepted and it felt good. Guy and his group were suddenly not so bad�I think they're just as insecure as I was�they just show it by acting superior and putting others down. I was flattered when Guy asked me to the prom�the most popular boy in school really wanted to take me to the prom�not as a sick joke. What I wanted though, was to be there with you."
"When we were dancing�it felt like we were the only two people in the room. And suddenly nothing else mattered�certainly not my job�do you remember? I said that there was something I wanted to tell you�and I took off that horrible pin and stepped on it. I was going to tell you everything�and you said there was something you wanted to tell me, too. I couldn't breathe�I knew we needed to talk privately�I looked around�trying to find an escape�then I saw them with the can of dog food. I couldn't let them do that to Aldys�she's sweet and smart and she was my friend. You know the rest."
Sam gathered her more tightly in his arms and held her. "Josie," he whispered, "do you know what I was going to tell you that night?"
Josie shook her head as she met Sam's green eyes. "When you walked into the prom in that incredible dress�Josie�you were breathtaking! No matter how hard I tried, I couldn't tear my eyes away from you. It was killing me�seeing you with Guy�laughing�dancing�I wanted to be the one you danced with�the only one. And then I had to crown you prom queen. You looked so genuinely surprised. You were radiantly beautiful�and standing so close to me I could smell your perfume. I had to fight to keep from hauling you into my arms. Did you feel my hands shaking when I placed the crown on your head? I felt as if we were the only two people in the room. I got lost in your eyes�until I somehow remembered where we were�who we were�and I had to turn you over to Guy. I stood there riveted�staring at you�you looked up once and caught me watching you."
"I followed you to the buffet�you were alone, at last�I was so nervous I could hardly speak. I couldn't even ask you to dance properly, but once you were in my arms�I knew I never wanted to let you go. Then I looked into your incredible blue eyes and read the truth�I knew that you loved me, too. Suddenly, I couldn't wait."
"I was going to tell you that I had somehow fallen in love with you. I was going to tell you how I tried to fight it, but couldn't help myself. I was going to tell you that I'd wait for you�if you were interested�that is�that I'd wait until you finished college�or whenever you were ready. I knew I could get fired�or worse�but I had to take the chance. School was all but over anyway�grades were in. The only thing left was graduation. Do you think less of me for falling in love with you when I thought you were seventeen?"
"How can I? I lied to you for weeks about who I was. And truthfully, when we were together I was myself. I'd forget everything except what seemed to be happening between us. Sam�what about Lara? You said you'd broken up with her�"
"Things hadn't been working for quite a while�we didn't have much in common once we graduated from college�and we wanted different things. The break-up was mutual�and actually quite amicable�she met someone else�and I had you. Have I ever told you that I keep a journal?"
"I don't think so."
"Since the day you walked into my classroom I've written about you and almost nothing else."
Josie blushed, "Really?"
"Really."
"When did you first realize�"
"That I was falling in love with you? On the Ferris wheel�when I told you that guys would be lining up around the block for you�then I told you I shouldn't say that because I'm your teacher�I realized that I wanted to be the only one in line. From then on, I was in trouble."
"I knew on the Ferris wheel, too. When I realized that you were terrified of heights and yet you'd gotten on to save me from embarrassment, and that was the sweetest, most selfless thing that anyone had ever done for me. I just wanted that moment to last forever."
"I'd climb to the top of the Sears Tower for five minutes with you. I can't believe I'm really holding you in my arms. I've dreamed about this so often. My subconscious acted out all sorts of things I couldn't even let myself imagine when I was awake. Do you have any idea how many cold showers I've taken?"
Josie was surprised by his admission. Her eyes searched his. "I never allowed myself to dream that I had a chance with you...are you truly here?" Josie stroked her hand down his cheek�needing to touch him, to reassure herself.
"Let me prove it to you," Sam said as his lips met hers. He propelled Josie back on the sofa until he was lying on top of her. He felt her gasp as his tongue plunged deeply into her soft mouth. He moaned as Josie, tentatively, thrust her tongue into his mouth. His hands moved over her body, stroking her back, her bare legs. They lost themselves in the desire they'd suppressed for so long.
Slowly, Sam raised his head, meeting Josie's passion-glazed eyes. He remembered, suddenly, how innocent she was. He sat up pulling her with him.
Sam looked deeply into Josie's eyes, trying to catch his breath. "My sweet Josie," he murmured, "I desperately want to make love to you."
Josie blushed, surprised.
"But I don't want to rush this. I know this is all very new to you. I want our first time to be perfect. So, as much as I would love to drag you into that bedroom and ravish you, I think we should wait. Our emotions are pretty high right now. I don't want to make love because we're caught up in the moment. I want you to be certain�to really be sure."
Tears sprang to Josie's eyes, touched by Sam's concern and love. "You'll be the first to know," she teased. Josie glanced up as the mantle clock began to chime. "It's time for the eleven o'clock news. Want to see if South Glen won state's?" Josie picked up the remote and the television clicked on.
"�the South Glen South Rams captured the state baseball title. And our top story tonight�Finally Been Kissed�" said the announcer.
Sam and Josie watched their first kiss replayed as their story was told. They laughed as they flipped from channel to channel. They were on every station.
"I think we're in for our fifteen minutes of fame," Sam joked. "I have a feeling the next few days are going to be a little strange."
"Why do I have a feeling that's a pretty major understatement?" Josie asked. "It's funny�I feel as if I've known you forever, yet there's so much I don't know about you."
"What do you want to know?"
"Everything!"
"Let's see�I grew up in Racine, Wisconsin with one sister and two brothers. We're all pretty close�but Abby's my favorite. Abby's married and lives in San Francisco�she has a two-year-old, Emma. Josh is next�then me�then Russ. My parents are Tim and Sarah�I think I told you my dad's a college history professor�and Mom does day care out of the house."
"What else? You already know I have a profound fear of heights and why. I play ice hockey in a winter league and softball in the summer. I also like to play pool. Oh, and like to mess around with a camera."
"I still spend a lot of time with the friends I grew up with, Jonathan and Matt�they both live in Chicago too�and Andy. We met in third grade when I switched schools. Matt was a year older�and a bully�I was small for my age, so he picked on me�stole my lunch money. One day after school, I'd had enough�he started in and I stood up to him�Jon and Andy were there in the crowd�and they stood up with me. Matt backed down�seems no one had ever done that before�after that�the four of us were inseparable�went through everything together. Your turn."
"I grew up here�in Chicago�near Lincoln Park. I just have one brother, Rob�and you've seen how close we are. My parents are Bob and Janet. You already know that I love sports�I also do needlepoint, cross-stitch, knit, crochet�all that kind of stuff. And, of course, you know I love to write."
"I was always pretty much of a geek�even in elementary school. I used to ask the teachers for extra homework, which did not endear me to the other kids. By high school, I really didn't fit in. I didn't know how to dress�or wear makeup�or do my hair. I was so used to being teased that I stopped trying. It was actually Rob who made up the name 'Josie Grossie'�and it caught on really quickly. This isn't easy for me to talk about, but I want you to know what I went through. Do you know what espadrilles are?"
"Some sort of shoe?"
"Yes. The girls threw them at me in the locker room. At the end of the year the person who got the most direct hits to my head got to toss me into the pool. They also liked to steal my clothes from my locker so I'd have to spend the rest of the day in my gym clothes. Let's see�they once wrote 'Josie Grossie' on my back in mustard without my knowing it�until the entire cafeteria was chanting that awful nickname. Oh�and the piece de resistance�other than prom�was when someone poured a can of sprite into my backpack. It seeped through everything until it finally pooled by my feet�right in front of Billy Prince. I did have one friend�Sheila�but after high school�I avoided contact with anything or anyone that reminded me of Lincoln Park High�so we lost touch."
"It kills me that people could be that cruel�especially to you. They have no idea what they missed out on. You're the most remarkable person I've ever known." He kissed her tenderly. "I love you, Josie Geller."
"Hearing you say that to me�nothing else seems to matter anymore. Knowing that you love me�that you chose to come tonight�it's the miracle I never expected. I'm so in love with you."
Sam grinned. He yawned�suddenly weary.
"Hey�you okay?"
"Just tired�I haven't really slept since the prom�" Sam said as he yawned again.
"Me either," Josie yawned in agreement. "Maybe we should try to get some sleep. I'm glad Gus gave me next week off." Josie stood and stretched. She held out her hand to Sam. "Do you want to change first?" she asked shyly.
"Umm�that's fine." Sam rooted through his duffel bag pulling out a toothbrush and a pair of sweatpants. Josie took his hand and shyly led him into her bedroom. He grinned at the pile of needlepoint pillows on the bed.
"A girl needs a hobby�" she giggled as she began tossing the pillows on the floor.
"If I were you, I wouldn't plan on having much time for needlepoint in the foreseeable future," Sam teased. "I plan on keeping you very busy," he added wickedly. "And the pillows will definitely get in the way."
"You are a very bad man, Sam Coulson," Josie said, blushing.
"I'm going to enjoy showing you just how bad," he threatened as he closed the bathroom door. He reappeared a few minutes later wearing sweats and a T-shirt. He casually plopped down on Josie's bed. She blushed at the image of Sam in her bed and disappeared into the bathroom.
She reappeared wearing a Winnie-the-Pooh nightshirt. Sam thought she looked adorable�and completely flustered.
He smiled at her. "It's okay really�I won't bite�at least not tonight."
She laughed and joined him on the bed. Sam reached over and flicked off the lights, gathering her tightly in his arms. "I've dreamt about this so often�" he whispered, "what it would be like to fall asleep with you in my arms. Goodnight my sweet Josie�sleep well." He kissed her gently. "I love you."
"Goodnight, Sam. I love you."
* * *