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* * *
The intensity and eroticism of Sam's dream had left him feeling completely drained�mentally and physically. His hands were trembling; in fact his whole body was shaking from the aftereffects. Sam pushed the tangle of blankets off him, swung his legs over the side of the bed, and got up, stalking over to the bathroom. He rubbed his eyes and kept repeating, "This isn't happening! This can't be happening!" But it was, and Sam had no idea how he was going to come to terms with these new feelings he had for Josie.
When Sam reached the bathroom, he leaned over the sink, turned the cold water on to full force and splashed his face over and over again, shocking his system into a full state of consciousness. He slowly stood up, looked at himself in the mirror and sighed heavily. Glaring at his reflection, he mimicked Lara's words from his dream, "What exactly do you think you're doing, Sam?" He paused and then realized he wasn't all that sure he wanted to know the answer. Shaking his head from side to side, he said ruefully, "What you need is a cold shower...that, and a therapist!"
* * *
In the early hours of the Saturday morning, Sam was a solitary figure on the large white ice rink. He skated out to just inside the blue line at one end of the rink and dropped his canvas bag full of hockey pucks by his feet. Grabbing the bottom of the bag, he unceremoniously dumped the huge pile of pucks onto the ice, and then tossed the bag back toward the bench behind and away from him. Then he pulled several pucks out of the pile with his stick and set them up in a horizontal line facing the net. He lined up behind the first one, took a huge wind up, and fired a wicked slap shot at the net. It went in. He skated backwards down the line, firing shot after shot, putting all his strength behind them, and hardly caring if he even hit the net.
After all, practicing his accuracy was not Sam's reason for being an hour early to the rink. He wanted to find some way, any way, to work out the tension and frustration he felt from his erotic dream of Josie. It was as if he was trying to push all the feelings he had for Josie out of him through the sheer force of his stick, but he quickly found it was no use�his feelings for her already ran too deep.
As he finished the line of pucks he'd laid out, he pulled several more out of the pile and started the process all over again. And then, he thought, there was Lara and her pushing for him to move to New York. He still had no clue what he was going to do about that situation.
The more Sam thought of his predicament, the more frustrated he became and the more manic he became in shooting the pucks. Soon he was simply viciously attacking the pile of pucks, sending one after the other toward the net at lightning speed, not caring where they went. All Sam wanted was to feel that familiar sting in his hands as his wooden stick connected with the rubber puck. Some of his shots found the back of the net, some careened off the goalposts and crossbar with a loud clang, and yet others missed the net entirely, which was entirely out of character for Sam because he was usually an extremely accurate shot.
And then suddenly Sam was not alone. Matt came gliding onto the rink to join him. "Hi, Sam!" he called out cheerfully, but Sam, lost in his state of confusion and desperation, did not hear Matt. Matt skated to a stop at center ice behind Sam and watched as Sam continued his assault on the pucks. When one of Sam's blistering shots bounced off the top corner of the goalpost with a metallic ping and careened off and over the protective glass into the stands, and yet Sam still continued to attack the pile of pucks like a man possessed, Matt knew he needed to step in.
Just as Sam was winding up for yet another slap shot, Matt yelled out a firm "Sam!" to break his concentration.
Hearing Matt this time, Sam brought his arms back down, spun around, and skated toward him. "Oh, hi Matt." he panted, as he hunched over, trying to catch his breath.
"So what's the matter, Sam?" he asked, more than a little concerned with Sam's behavior.
Uneasily, Sam asked, "Huh? What do you mean?"
Matt gave him a stern look and replied, "Come on, Sam, you don't fool me. You were attacking those pucks like you had a personal vendetta against them or something. I'm quite sure you don't hate the team we're playing today that much�" Looking down the rink toward the net that Sam had been shooting at, he shook his head and continued, "It's a darn good thing this place is empty, because that last shot would have taken off a spectator's head�"
Sam sighed, shrugging his shoulders, but said nothing.
But Matt persisted, "And you look kind of pale, too. Are you feeling okay? You coming down with something?"
'Yeah,' Sam thought wryly, 'I'm coming down with something all right�and her name is Josie�' But his reply to Matt was quite different from his thoughts: "I guess I just didn't get much sleep last night...that's all."
"Why? Thinking about Lara again?"
Matt could not have been more wrong, but Sam didn't know how he would even begin to explain to Matt the feelings he had for Josie, when he didn't even know himself what he was feeling. He hesitated as his mind filled with images from his dream of he and Josie in a passionate embrace. He swallowed hard and then said, "Yeah�I guess."
"Well," Matt joked, "that would certainly give me nightmares."
Sam rewarded Matt with a droll look.
Matt continued, putting a supportive hand on Sam's shoulder. "So have you decided whether you going to New York or not?"
Sam shook his head sadly. "No."
"Well, you know how Michelle and I feel about it." Matt paused. Matt dearly loved Sam, but his macho side always got in the way of telling Sam how much he would miss him if he left. "Umm�well we don't really want you to go and you know, the guys will miss you and all..." he mumbled. "But if you want to be with Lara�then I guess your place is in New York."
Sam looked down at the ice, digging at it with the front tip of his skate, but said nothing.
"You do want to be with Lara�don't you, Sam?" Matt asked.
Sam's eyes were full of sadness when he shook his head and replied, "I don't know. I�I honestly don't know what I want anymore�"
Matt looked startled by this revelation. Recovering quickly, he asked carefully, "Have you told Lara how you feel?"
Sam pinched the bridge of his nose with his fingers. Just thinking about Lara was giving him a headache. "Um�look, if you don't mind Matt, I really don't want to talk about this right now�okay?"
"Sure�sure." Matt thought he'd change the subject to get Sam's mind off his troubles. He reached out with his stick to snag a stray puck and tapped it lightly back and forth from forehand to backhand on his stick, saying with a grin, "Hey! Wasn't Sean an idiot last night? I mean, thinking that you and your student Josie were on a date?"
Despite himself, Sam cracked a soft smile at the mention of Josie's name. "Yeah."
Matt continued, not noticing the moony look on Sam's face. "She seems like a really sweet kid." Then, grinning wickedly, he nudged Sam's arm with his elbow and confided, " Oh and get this, Sam� Michelle has this harebrained idea that Josie's got the hots for you."
Sam's heart felt like it stopped for a moment before it started to beat faster. Sam swallowed hard and gasped, "What!?" 'God,' he thought, 'if Michelle thought she knew about Josie's feelings by just seeing them together for five minutes, then was Michelle also able to see just how much he cared for Josie?' Trying to sound casual�and failing miserably�he asked Matt, "What�what makes her think that?"
Matt shrugged his shoulders nonchalantly.
"Come on," Sam persisted, "she must have said something to you?"
"I don't know, Sam. I guess it's that 'woman's intuition' thing she keeps talking about. She said Josie looked at you all gushy�Michelle's word, not mine�like she liked you. You haven't noticed?" When Sam didn't answer, Matt took that to be an answer in the negative. "Well I suppose you're so used to it by now, seeing that you're a young guy and all in a school full of teenaged girls. Maybe you wouldn't notice. But I'd think you must get that all the time, eh?"
A slight smile crossed Sam's face, but he didn't answer. In fact, he'd never even heard the question. Sam had just realized that the whole time he'd been busy thinking about how he felt about Josie, but he hadn't really taken the time to think about how she might feel about him. 'Could she actually have feelings for me, too?' he thought. Sam shook his head sadly. 'Of course not. Who am I trying to kid? Anything that Michelle might have thought she saw wouldn't be anything more than a passing crush. Josie just sees me as her teacher�which is a good thing,' he decided.
Matt continued. "So anyway, she was really cute, Sam. Too bad she's not older�huh?" he said jokingly.
Sam sighed. "Yeah. Too bad." he whispered to himself.
* * *
The weekend went by quickly for Josie and soon she found herself on her way to Ms. Knox's first period History lesson. But what she was really excited about was her second period English class with Sam. It had been two whole days since their evening together at Senior Nite, but for Josie it had felt like a lifetime and she couldn't wait to see Sam again.
Josie lowered her eyes as a tiny smile curved at the corners of her mouth. When she raised her eyes again, she was pleasantly surprised to find Sam standing only a short distance away talking to some of his fellow teachers.
Josie stood still for a moment, just staring at the beautiful man before her. He was wearing black pants and blue shirt and Josie recalled that he had worn this outfit before. In fact, it was the first day she had laid eyes on him, and he looked just as handsome now as he did then. Josie swallowed hard and she tried to walk, but her feet refused to move. She hoped and prayed that Sam would sense her standing there and he would turn to give her one of his sexy, crooked smiles.
Suddenly Sam sensed someone was watching him. He turned and his gaze met with Josie's. Josie flashed him one of her beautiful smiles, but instead of Sam sending her a smile in return, he lowered his eyes guiltily and turned to quickly stride down the hall away from her.
Josie stood stunned, watching his retreating form. He had never ignored her before. 'Maybe he didn't see me�' she thought. Josie shrugged her shoulders. 'He just didn't see me�that's all,' she tried to convince herself as she continued on her way, but something inside told her that something was definitely wrong.
* * *
When the bell rang releasing the first period classes, Sam, who was busy correcting essays in the staff lounge, refilled his coffee mug, took a deep breath and headed out the door. As Sam wove his way through the throng, juggling his bag, a few books and his coffee mug, he still could not take his mind off his predicament with Josie. He already felt incredibly bad about seeing her in the hallway this morning and snubbing her instead of offering her his normal friendly greeting. Honestly, he'd meant to, but once he'd realized that she was wearing a button down pink shirt and blue jeans that were quite a bit like what she had worn in his dream Friday night� Well heck, he was lucky he could remember his own name after that shock to his senses!
Sighing heavily, Sam knew now that he only had one option where Josie was concerned: he had to be extra careful in maintaining only a professional relationship with her. He was, after all, the responsible adult and Sam refused to allow his growing feelings for Josie to interfere with his professionalism and his responsibility to Josie: as her teacher and as her friend. Sam closed his eyes briefly and sighed. He knew it was going to be easier said than done.
Sam opened the door to his classroom and entered the empty room. Then he stood just inside the doorway silently staring at his desk, swallowing hard, thinking, 'Oh, God�I don't know if I can do this�' His desk, of course, was the site of his erotic dream of Josie and he wasn't quite sure if he could ever look at it again without thinking about that dream. Knowing he had no choice, Sam moved closer to his desk and placed his bag, books and coffee mug on top of it, and then pulled out his chair and sat down. He placed his hands on top of the desk and willed his pounding heart to calm down. He tried to force the images of Josie-- her shirt partially unbuttoned and askew as she sat on top of his desk and kissed his neck-- out of his mind�with little success.
Suddenly Sam heard the door creak open and one by one his students started to file into the classroom. Sam knew that Josie would enter any minute, and rather than have to make eye contact with her when he was still feeling this vulnerable, he decided to keep busy by preparing for the lesson ahead.
When Josie reached the door to Sam's class, she took a deep breath and then entered the classroom. She glanced over to Sam, hoping to say a friendly hello, but Sam was busy sipping his coffee and reading through some papers and apparently did not notice her walk in. Josie continued toward her desk, occasionally turning to glance over her shoulder at Sam, but he still did not make eye contact.
Upon reaching her desk, Josie was looking at Sam, trying to will him to look at her, and so she missed the step up and went plummeting to the ground, dropping her books everywhere. Sighing heavily, Josie crouched down in embarrassment, trying to minimize the damage by hastily retrieving her books.
The boys in the back of the room starting snickering, and Sam knew that meant something was up. When Sam looked up to find out what the commotion was about, all he had staring back at him was a great view of Josie's rear end in a pair of tight blue denim jeans as she busily collected her pile of books she'd dropped on the floor.
Sam felt his mouth go dry as the image flashed in his mind of kissing Josie and running his hands up and down her back and behind. The vision seemed so real that he could almost feel the soft curves of her and the slight roughness of the denim on his hands. Sam slowly pulled his lips away from his coffee mug and stared, half in shock and half in unconscious desire. He knew that he was staring at her longer than what was appropriate, but he just couldn't seem to help himself. His eyes still fixated on Josie's backside, Sam went to place his cup down with a shaking hand, but he misjudged where the top of the desk was and released the handle a split second too early, causing the coffee mug to topple over, spilling hot coffee onto his left hand and all over his desk.
"Damn it!" he cursed softly, but still louder then he'd meant it to be. He tried to shake the coffee off of his hand.
In the back of the room, Tommy and Jason's object of snickering quickly changed from Josie to Sam.
"Smooth move, El-lax!" crooned Jason.
"Yeah, way to go, Mr. Coulson! Woo hoo!" parroted Tommy.
Sam was not amused and his expression told them so.
Sam bent down and quickly searched his drawers for something, anything to help clean the mess, as he tried to ignore the pain from his burned hand. Suddenly he felt a tap on his shoulder and as he turned and looked up, his breath caught in his throat at as his sweet, beautiful Josie stood there, holding out a box of tissues to him. 'Could it be possible that she just gets more and more beautiful with each day?' he thought.
"Here you go," she said, smiling brightly. "Maybe these will help."
Sam couldn't help but smile. She had come to his rescue yet again. "Thanks, Josie," he said as stood up and reached out his hand to take the tissue box from her.
When Sam reached out to grab the tissues, Josie noticed his hand was red. "Oh my gosh! You burned yourself!"
Sam shook the remaining coffee droplets off his hand and calmly said, "I'm okay. It's just a little burn, no big deal."
"Just a little burn!?" Josie exclaimed softly. "Practically the whole back of your hand is red!" Josie suddenly took his hand in hers to see how badly he had hurt himself.
Sam, feeling completely ill at ease about this show of affection, especially in front of a room full of his students, quickly pulled his hand away. "It's fine, Josie�really." Sam nervously glanced around the classroom, but no one had seemed to notice anything amiss.
Josie looked up at him curiously for a moment and then her expression changed back to concern. "Okay. But you should still run it under some cold water. I'll clean this up for you, okay?"
Sam felt her eyes drawing him in again, and to break the spell, he lowered his eyes and whispered, "Okay�thanks." He cleared his throat and then said louder to the class, "I'll be back in a minute."
Josie watched as Sam quickly strode from the room and then she started mopping up the coffee with a wad of tissues. Once she was finished, she plopped the soggy mess into the wastebasket behind his desk near the door and then went back to her seat. She started thinking about his odd behavior when she had held his hand to examine his burn, but before she could really ponder on it too much, Sam returned. As he entered the room, Josie noticed that he looked at his now cleaned desk and then over at her momentarily, sending her an embarrassed look of thanks. But then, a look of almost�fear�crossed his features and he looked abruptly away from her.
Although Josie had only locked eyes with Sam briefly, the sadness and longing in them was evident. As Sam sat flipping through his poetry book to find the day's assignment, she couldn't help but notice that his composure, that 'confident air' that always surrounded him, had all but disappeared. Something was definitely wrong, she decided. He appeared�frustrated, almost as if he were waging a mental war with himself over something, but mostly�he just looked sad. Josie sighed as her heart went out to him. She wished she knew what was bothering him; she wanted to help him the way he had been helping her for so long. Maybe now she could return the favor. And still, she wondered, 'What could have happened to Sam over the weekend that could have affected him so much?'
* * *
"Okay, onto the fifth stanza. Can anyone tell me what Donne is talking about here?" Sam raised his eyes to the class, hoping by some small miracle someone would respond. "Anyone?"
Josie wanted to raise her hand, but she knew it would have been no use. After his initial glance at her when he re-entered the room, he'd all but ignored her for the whole class. In fact, he barely even looked toward her side of the room, forget about at her. Whether it was intentional or not, Josie couldn't help but feel hurt. She tried valiantly not to let the pain show on her face, but all she could think was, 'What did I do to deserve this?'
When no one seemed game enough to respond to his query, Sam sighed and then got up from his desk and began to wander about the classroom, his frustration with his students apparent on his face. Finally, he said, "Okay, lets read this again." He glanced over toward Kristen, Kirsten and Gibby and sighed when he saw them huddled together, looking at what appeared to be a fashion magazine and whispering to each other.
"Kristen!" Sam said sternly. Suddenly all three girls stopped their chattering and looked up to Sam, startled. "Kristen, I would like you to read the fifth and sixth stanzas for us, please."
Kristen frowned, grabbed her book and then stood up and began to read.
"But we, by a love, so much refind That we ourselves know not what it is, Inter assured of the mind, Care lesse, eyes, lips and hands to misse.
Our two souls therefore, which are one, Though I must goe, endure not yet A breach, but an expansion Like gold to ayery thinnese beate."
As soon as she had finished her task, Kristen plopped back down in her chair.
"Thank you Kristen." Sam wandered back down to the front of the classroom and leaned back up against his desk, crossing his feet at the ankles as he often did. "Okay, so I ask you again, does anyone know what Donne is talking about here?" Still no response. "Oh, come on? Anyone?"
Sam shook his head and sighed. Trying to get through to his students this way was obviously not working today, so he thought he'd try another tack and take the road less traveled by teachers: good, old fashioned bribery.
As the students looked on in interest, Sam placed his book down and pulled out his wallet to search its contents. After a moment, Sam looked back up and announced, "Okay guys� What I have here is a voucher for a free video rental from Blockbuster�and I'll even throw in five bucks for popcorn and a drink, if someone would please tell me what Donne is talking about here?"
Suddenly, practically every student in the classroom shot his or her arms up in the air. Josie rolled her eyes in amusement and waited to see what Sam would do next.
Sam smirked and then said, "Only actual thought-through answers will be accepted�no blind guessing allowed." All the arms sunk back down�except for Josie's and Aldys's.
Josie looked up at him, hoping this time that Sam would call on her. Sam's eyes skittered over Josie's features for a split-second before he sharply looked away and fixated on Aldys, who sat next to her. He let out a silent sigh and then said, "Aldys."
Josie let out a small, inaudible moan of pain at being snubbed by Sam yet again, and then she lowered her eyes as Aldys began to speak.
"Well�I think what he's saying here, is that these two people-- these lovers-- can't define their love, that they don't quite know themselves what their feeling. Perhaps they've never experienced love, that is�real love."
Sam lowered his eyes to study the linoleum under Aldys's feet and sucked in a deep breath.
Meanwhile, Aldys continued, "Also, I think he is comparing their love, or at least the foundation of their love, to one of the most precious metals on earth, which is gold. Gold can be beaten, flattened, stretched and even melted, but in the end you can't destroy it, because it's so strong. And so even if these lovers, these soul mates, can't be together� the love they share for each other is still so powerful that it can't be diminished or destroyed."
Almost unconsciously, Sam raised his eyes and they locked with Josie's, as she had already been staring at him. They continued to hold their gaze, until Sam finally realized what he was doing and turned away, breaking eye contact with Josie. Clearing his throat self-consciously, he said, "That�that's good Aldys. Thank you."
Aldys smiled, pleased that her assessment had been accurate.
Sam approached Aldys. "Here you go." He handed her the voucher and five dollars with a smile, carefully training his eyes on her so that they wouldn't stray to the left toward Josie again. "Oh, and if you happen to rent Star Wars, invite me over�okay? I love that movie�" he joked.
As the class laughed at his humor, Aldys replied, smiling brightly, "You're on! Thanks, Mr. Coulson."
Sam turned his attention back onto the classroom. "Okay, so now what does everyone else think?"
* * *
Soon, the bell rang signaling the end of the period. As everyone began to trample down past Josie, making their quick getaway, Josie found herself taking her time in the hopes that she might be able to say a quick hello to Sam and maybe find out what was bothering him. After all, they had spent virtually the whole night together at Senior Nite, and Josie was sure that her relationship with Sam had taken on a new meaning. They weren't just teacher and student, but friends�very good friends, she hoped.
Josie stalled until she saw that Sam was alone at his desk. She picked up her book bag and slowly approached his desk.
But Sam had his owns plans and was already preparing his getaway. As much as he hated to do it, Sam knew he needed to keep his distance from Josie. There was no way he could go on fantasizing about one of his own students, and if the only way he was going to break that spell was to stop being around her, then he would have to bite the bullet and do it. He cared about his position as teacher�and about Josie�too much to allow things to continue. He quickly gathered his things and headed for the door.
"Mr. Coulson." Josie called out softly, with more than a hint of hurt in her voice.
Sam stopped at the door and he felt his stomach do a flip-flop at the sound of Josie's voice. The ache in it instantly made him feel about three inches high. He slowly turned to face her and then he felt his knees go weak as he gazed into Josie's beautiful, yet sad eyes. "Yes, Josie?" he replied breathlessly.
Josie moved closer to him, and Sam, worrying about his possible reaction to their close proximity, took a step back. "Is your hand okay?" she asked, gesturing toward his left hand.
"Yeah...yeah. Like I said it was only a superficial burn. I'm fine."
Josie smiled. "Good, I'm glad." She hesitated for a moment and then said, "So�how are you?"
"Who me?" Sam asked nervously. "Oh, I'm good�and, and you?" He spoke nervously as he shifted his weight uncomfortably from one foot to the other.
"I'm good, too." Josie replied shyly.
Sam nodded. "So we're both good�That�that's good."
Josie chuckled and then said, "So, I was wondering�."
Just then Sam heard his colleague Adam outside the hallway yelling at some boys, and Sam thought this was the perfect opportunity for a getaway. "Excuse me for a second, Josie." Sam popped his head out the door and called out to Adam. "Hey, Adam?"
Adam turned to Sam.
"Wait up. I need to talk to you about something." Sam turned back to Josie. "I'm sorry Josie, but I have to talk to Mr. Christiansen about something."
Josie nodded, her face awash with disappointment, but said nothing.
Sam, feeling a horrible twinge of guilt at the sight of Josie's dejected face, added, "It's important."
"Its okay. I understand. I should really get going myself." And with that Josie walked past Sam, exited the door and headed down the hallway. Sam just looked after her, feeling like a complete jerk for hurting her like that. If Josie had been any other student, Sam would easily have made the time to talk to them. But Josie wasn't like any of his other students. Josie was girl he was falling in love with. Sam sighed heavily as Adam walked up to him. "What did you want to talk to me about, Sam?"
Sam shook his head sadly and whispered, "Nothing, Adam. It was nothing."
* * *
By lunchtime, Josie found herself in quite a melancholy mood, sadly making her way down the hallway.
Suddenly she heard a voice behind her say, "Hey, Josie."
Josie turned. 'Who was that?' she thought. She shrugged it off and continued down the hallway, but suddenly she sensed that something was different. Josie found that people were starting to making eye contact with her, that they were even nodding a friendly hello. Suddenly, she was startled as Tracie came shrieking up from behind yelling "Josie� Hey Josie, wait up!"
Josie turned, to find Tracie and two of her friends hovering around. "Gosh, Josie! I can't believe you didn't tell anyone!"
Josie was completely baffled. "Huh?"
"Look at her, being so modest." Tracie said to her friends.
"What are you talking about, Tracie?" Josie asked curiously.
"Rob told us everything, and don't worry, we won't tell anyone," Tracie confided with a conspiratorial smile on her face.
"What!? What do you mean Rob told you everything?" Josie was on the verge of panic. Rob wouldn't do that�would he?
Tracie rolled her eyes at Josie's continued modesty. "About how you used to be a gymnast! And how you almost made it to the US National Championships�until you broke your hip that is."
"Rob told you I was a gymnast!?" Josie was furious.
"Yeah, yeah. Don't worry Josie, you can trust us to keep your secret. Rob said you didn't like to talk about it. But we�" Tracie motioned to her friends, "Well, we were wondering if maybe you could give us some pointers some time."
Josie mentally rolled her eyes, thinking how she couldn't wait to strangle her baby brother. "Look Tracie, Umm�like Rob said, I really don't like talking about it."
"Oh. Sure�okay. But if you change your mind�"
Josie interrupted her. "Yes, if I change my mind, then you'll be the first one to know, I promise." Josie sent Tracie a warm, and hopefully convincing, smile.
That seemed to satisfy Tracie and her friends. "Okay, bye Josie."
Josie stood staring after them in disbelief. "Wait 'til I can my hands on you Rob!" she whispered to herself.
When Josie abruptly turned around to head back down the hallway, she crashed right into someone. "Whoa!" she said, as her books, along with whatever the other person had been carrying, went tumbling down to the ground. "Oh God, I'm so sorry," Josie moaned, not realizing that she the person she had just crashed into was Sam.
Sam looked down at Josie, staring at her beautiful blond hair, and his fingers ached to touch it. He fought for composure and after a moment, said, "No, no� I'm the one who's sorry, Josie. It was my fault."
Josie looked up when she realized it was Sam she'd run into, and she couldn't conceal her embarrassment. This was the second time today that she had made a fool of herself in front of him. "No, it's my fault, Mr. Coulson," Josie replied. "I wasn't looking where I was going."
Sam chuckled a little and said, "Yeah, but I was looking where I was going, and I still walked into you, so it's actually my fault." Sam explained, a bit of a blush also coloring his cheeks. The truth was, he'd been daydreaming about Josie and not paying attention to where he was going when they'd collided.
"No, no, no. You see..." Josie insisted, but then they made eye contact and Josie's voice trailed off.Suddenly Sam and Josie both began to chuckle at the silliness of their argument.
"Let's just call it even, okay, Josie?" Sam said, smiling.
Josie smiled back. "Okay."
Sam and Josie stood in an uncomfortable silence for a moment until Sam broke it by saying, "I guess we should pick up our things, huh?"
Josie nodded and then they both bent down to retrieve their books at the same time and managed to bump their heads together in the process.
"Ouch!" Josie cried.
"Oh, God. I'm so sorry, Josie." Sam and Josie both rubbed at the sore spots on their foreheads. Then Sam looked up at Josie, his face pinched with worry. "Did I hurt you?"
Josie shook her head. "I'm okay�I think." But she winced as she said it and Sam noticed.
"Here, Josie, let me see." Josie removed her hand and then, without consciously realizing what he was doing, Sam's left hand went to her forehead. He pushed her hair aside and he inspected her forehead and then gently rubbed his fingers across the area. 'Oh, God,' he realized with alarm, her skin was as soft to the touch as he'd imagined in his dream� Caught in the moment, his hand lingered as he murmured, "Are you sure you're okay, Josie?" gazing deeply into her eyes.
Josie closed her eyes and savored the feel of Sam's fingers on her skin.With a sigh, she nodded, whispering, "Yes."
Sam and Josie looked into each other's eyes again and found themselves trapped in their mutual stare. Suddenly, this scene seemed all too familiar to Sam. Remembering his dream-- and what came next in it-- he quickly pulled his hand back as if he'd suddenly been burned...again. Sam sucked in a painful breath and ducked his head to collect his books.
Josie began to collect her things as well and then she said, "It looks like neither of us is having a very good day�huh?"
Sam flickered across Josie's face as she continued, "Oh you know, with books falling, coffee spilling, burning hands and bumping heads�"
Sam grinned again, finding Josie's sense of humor contagious. "Yeah. I guess you're right."
After collecting all their books, Sam and Josie slowly stood up. After a long pause and a deep breath, Josie ventured, "So�I noticed this morning that�."
Sam knew what Josie was about to ask, and he wasn't yet ready to answer questions about his behavior. Interrupting Josie mid-sentence, he said, "Um�Josie�I'm sorry, but I have to�" he took a few steps backwards, unconsciously needing to get away from her and this awkward situation. "I'm�well�I'm actually late for a meeting," he sputtered.
Josie stood silently, watching his behavior and finding it painfully familiar. An arrow of recognition stabbed at her heart as she realized that he was actually trying to run away from her, just as he had from Ms. Hamilton on Friday night. The irony that she had apparently went from friend to pariah in Sam's eyes just when the other kids were starting to accept her hurt more than she cared to admit.
Sam nervously continued. "So�um�I've gotta go. Bye�" And with that Sam turned and hurried down the hallway, leaving a hurting, baffled Josie in his wake.
Josie turned and walked down the hall in the opposite direction. She cursed herself for allowing herself to believe for one second that she and Sam had shared something special at Senior Nite. Actually, not only Senior Nite, she now admitted, but the days and weeks leading up to that night. She honestly thought that she had found a friend in Sam Coulson; that she found someone who understood and appreciated her, and that he even enjoyed spending time with her. But in just a few hours, those hopes and dreams had all come tumbling down. Josie now realized that Sam was just being nice to her and that was all. Josie could feel the tears beginning to prick her eyes, and she held her head low, so that no one would be able to see them as they slowly dripped down her cheeks.
* * *
"Oh boy! Something is wrong. Something is definitely wrong." Anita said to Cynthia, as she and about six other Sun Times staff sat around the television screen in Gus's office.
"What do you think happened?" Cynthia asked, looking across to Anita as if she must know the answer.
But Anita was at a loss. "I don't know," she said, shaking her head solemnly. "I mean, he and Josie got along great on Friday night. They were really starting to get close."
Merkin interjected, shaking his head with pity, "Women! The answer is so obvious!" They all turned to Merkin, as he prepared to enlighten them on his theory. "Let the 'Love Guru' impart you with a little wisdom."
Anita rolled her eyes. "The Love Guru?" she asked incredulously.
Merkin gave Anita a droll look, collected his thoughts, and then said. "The poor sucker has got it bad for Josie, right?" They all nodded. "Right. But he's her teacher�right?" They all looked at Merkin dumbfounded. When he knew they didn't get it, Merkin shook his head thinking that they were all a bunch of idiots. He rolled his eyes and then said, "Well, what do you expect him to do!? Jump on her and rip all her clothes off!? He's her teacher!"
Anita eyes widened in realization. "I don't know about what all of you expected, but hell yes, I did!" They all turned as one to look at Anita, shocked. Anita shrugged her shoulders and said, "Why are you all looking at me like that for!?"
Getting back on track, Rhoda added, "Of course! Mr. Coulson is Josie's teacher and he thinks she's seventeen, so I guess from his perspective, he doesn't see that there is a whole lot that he can do about any feelings he might have for Josie. I mean he could lose his job..."
"Poor guy... Maybe Josie should tell him the truth." Cynthia added.
Gus, who was standing at his office door with his arms crossed while he ardently listened in on their conversation, replied matter-of-factly, "If she does that, she'll be outta here so quick, that she won't have time to recite the etymology of the words 'booted out'!"
Anita turned to Gus. "Oh come on, Gus. What could it hurt, if one person knew the truth?"
"Look, Josie is undercover. And undercover means that no one is supposed to know who she is or what she's doing."
"But�"
"But nothing�. That's the way it is and if she doesn't like it, then she can find a job somewhere else." He paused and then said, "Now if you don't mind I would like to get some work done, so if you can all drag yourselves away from your little soap opera fest here, then I suggest you get back out there and do the same!"
They all sighed. "Come on people�what am I paying you for? Out�out!" he growled.
* * *
Sam's conscience was not fairing well by the time last period had ended. Sam couldn't shake the overwhelming guilt he was feeling regarding his inexcusable behavior toward Josie. He remembered all too well how on Friday night he had told Josie that he would never lie to her, and yet within the span of one day, he had lied to her on two occasions. He knew that Josie deserved better.
After all, she hadn't done a thing to deserve his poor treatment except be the sweet, wonderful young woman she was. The problem was all on his end, and he knew it. Sam decided then and there that it had to stop: he had to stop taking his frustration about his growing attraction to Josie out on her.
Sam sighed, packed his things into his soft-sided briefcase, and headed down to the student lounge. In his current state of mind, a prom committee meeting was the last thing he was in the mood for.
* * *
"So, we managed to raise $723 from Senior Nite, and I think we should all congratulate ourselves on a job well done," Sydney said cheerfully.
"We did do well and that money can go toward payment for the venue hire, but we're still very low on funds, so it doesn't look like we'll be able to get a band this year." Sam pointed out.
Ms Knox then added, "Well, we could always have the prom here in the school gym. That way, we could save thousands."
Sydney rolled her eyes. "Ms Knox, the school gym just won't cut it. How do you expect us to compete with East Glen East for the Nation's Best Prom if we have the prom in the gym?"
"Well, we could�"
"No, no, no!" Sydney crossed her arms across her small frame. There was no doubt in anyone's mind that when Sydney made a decision, there was no challenging her. "We have already put this to a vote and the South Glen students unanimously voted to have their Senior Prom off campus and that decision is not negotiable."
Sam studied Sydney for a moment, impressed. Although she was only a tiny little creature with dark straight hair cut into a bob, Sam was sure that Sydney would one day be running for Congress. She was one tough cookie and she certainly knew how to take control of a room full of people and get the job done. If only she was more dedicated to his Literature class, he thought. Sam was yanked from his thoughts, though, when suddenly the door flung open and Josie burst in.
"Sorry, I'm late!" she panted, and then looked around the room with a little bit of panic. Her eyes settled on Sam and he suddenly felt claustrophobic, as if the room had shrunk significantly in size and he was trapped in it.
Sydney immediately walked up to Josie and welcomed her to the group. "Hi! I'm Sydney Anakowski, Student Body President." Sydney took Josie's hand and shook it.
"Hi, I'm Josie. Josie Geller," she said shyly.
"We're always so happy to have new volunteers, so welcome to our group." Sydney motioned to Josie to sit down in the chair next to her. But seated on the other side of that seat was Sam, and she was still smarting from his treatment of her earlier in the day. Giving him a determined look, she purposely avoided that seat and crossed the room to sit in the only other available seat in the room...next to Kristen, who rewarded her with a venomous look. Josie cringed but did not move nor look up at Sam.
Sam knew in that instant that he had hurt Josie badly with his offhanded treatment of her. In truth, his behavior was inexcusable, and he knew it. Now, she seemed to want to be as far away from him as possible, and he couldn't blame her. He'd been positively boorish. Although Sydney had already moved onto the next item on their agenda, her voice drowned away as Sam sat thinking about Josie...and how suddenly he knew they would be spending a lot of time together.
His pulse rate jumped as he realized that idea both excited and terrified him.
* * *
When the meeting came to a close, Josie quickly gathered her things together and headed out the door without even so much as a glance toward Sam. Josie walked quickly down the hallway, anxious to get away, when she heard from behind her, "Hey Josie�wait up!"
Even against her better judgement, Josie stopped instantly. There was no mistaking that voice; it was Sam calling after her.
Josie slowly turned to see Sam walking toward her. When he was close enough, Josie cautiously said, "Yes?"
Sam stood before her, holding his brief case in his left hand and his right hand stuffed in his front pants pocket. He hesitated and looked everywhere but directly at Josie and then said, "Um�" but the words failed to come.
Josie started to grow a little impatient and angry from his treatment of her today, although she knew deep down in her heart that she had no right to be upset. Indeed, he had been treating her like any other student, and that's all she had the right to expect, no matter what she thought had happened on Friday night.
Sam continued, "So umm�" Sam's cell phone began ringing, interrupting him. Josie thought she heard him let out a short curse under his breath before he said apologetically, "Just a second, Josie." Sam shuffled through his bag, dug out his phone and answered. "Hello?"
"Sam, it's Lara. Where the hell have you been?"
Sam suddenly felt sick. "Oh, hi Lara," he whispered back, mortified by her incredibly poor timing.
The last thing Jose wanted to hear at that moment was a conversation between Sam and his girlfriend. Josie motioned to Sam that she was going to go and started to turn to head back down the hall, but Sam shook his head in silent denial and placed his right hand on her shoulder to stop her.
Sam continued into the telephone, "Listen Lara, you kind of caught me at a bad time� I really can't talk at the moment. I'll call you later, okay?"
"No, Sam," she demanded petulantly, "we need to talk right now�"
But this time, Sam was adamant. He needed to make amends with Josie, and nothing was going to stop him. Perching the phone between his ear and his shoulder, he used both hands to turn Josie around to face him. He made and kept eye contact with her as he said forcefully into the phone, "I'm in the middle of an important meeting, Lara. I can't talk now. I will call you later. Goodbye." And without giving Lara a chance to respond, he hung up the phone, turned off the ringer, and shoved it back into his bag.
Despite herself and her earlier feelings of abandonment by Sam, suddenly Josie found that her heart was pounding. Had he actually put her ahead of talking to his own girlfriend? Josie was afraid to read too much into that, but she wondered what that turn of events might mean. Blushing just slightly at the direction of her thoughts, she looked down at the linoleum floor and the tips of her and Sam's shoes.
Sam smiled softly at her for a moment and then cleared his throat, garnering Josie's attention again. Looking deeply into her big blue eyes, Sam asked softly, "Now... Can we talk?"
* * *
To be continued...
* * *