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Escape from City Market
Written as an email to a few friends on 8/10/1999

by Tom Taylor ([email protected])
www.geocities.com/natlgeo
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(February 18th, 1999)

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INTRO:
(For non-Savannahians, City Market is a historic sort-of plaza that
frequently has bands, is lined with a few bars/nightclubs, and
is quite popular on warmer weekend nights). There are a lot of
bars/nightclubs within walking distance of each other in downtown
Savannah. City Market is 1-2 blocks from River Street. River Street is
extremely popular on St. Patrick's Day - several hundred thousand
people come into town for the celebration. Savannah's River Street on
St. Patrick's Day is quite comparable to New Orlean's Bourbon Street
during Mardi Gras on Fat Tuesday.)
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Ding!!

The light bulb just turned on over my head! Think about my idea here -
it's SOOOO obvious, but so not-obvious in that Savannah-ish way.

So, for the St. Patrick's Day celebration, there is now going to be
gated access to River Street this year, right? Sure, sure, it will
still be busy, BUT, what about the people who say "screw that, let's go
to...."

Now, where do you think they will go to? City Market! I predict an
unexpectedly large crowd in the City Market area - pedestrians choking
the streets surrounding the parking garage...SPD and City of Savh caught
off guard.....muuuuahhhh ha ha ha ha ha (evil laughter). Now, this is
only this year. We might be so lucky as to get SPD/Savannah to think
"Gee, what a big crowd this year" and take no action. BUT, the gospel
will spread, and if gated access to River Street remains, 2000 will be
THE banner year for City Market. Buy City Market stock now! Also,
since SPD's radio and command and control functions will still be
inoperable from Y2K, it will be total anarchy and the people will rule
the streets, with the Historic District finally abandoned by THE MAN,
and declared a FREE LIBERATION ZONE by the REBEL ALLIANCE. Areas of the
Zone, unofficially grouped into "quads," are ruled by warlords
collectively known as DEACONS. While on a flight to New Washington, the
President's jet develops engine trouble, and he (the president, not the
jet) is placed into an escape pod, known as THE EGG. With his special
forces squads rendered ineffective by the global electromagnetic pulses
emitted by the mysterious whale-searching probe that appeared over Earth
at the instant of Y2K, Minister of Continental Security Leonard Tripp
(formerly Linda) searches out for the one man who can go in and save the
president. This one man is the most dangerous criminal in the
Pan-Hemisphere. He is a RUNNING MAN, one known as....THE Snake
Plisskin. With the assistance of his sidekick, former World Wrestling
FEDERATION promoter Vince McMahon, Plisskin secretly enters the ZONE via
the underused and overlooked CAT (Chatham Area Transit) bus system.
Already in a bad mood, Plisskin must fend for a beer, try to meet some
girls from out of town, and if he remembers, find that important guy -
the Precedent or whatever.



______________
Okay, what started as a funny idea turned into a little story styled
after those oddlook-like-they-were-made-from-clipped-pieces-of-newspaper
ads put out bypeople who tell us about Jesus, and have apparently randomly capitalized
words throughout the ads. I also did some crack, and drew in heavy
references to the film "Escape From New York," with a few topical names
thrown in for whatever reason. Since when do I start explaining my
emails? Since when do I start ranting? When will I get back to
working, since I am at my place of employment?
Oh look, it's lunchtime,gotta go.

T