An Andrew Edelman Joint

As allegations of alien influence plague the Gore campaign, the Bush campaign has now to suffer the wrath of weird stuff. In an exclusive National Liar photo, obtained illegally and without regard to copyright law, presidential hopeful George W. Bush is shown to have what appears to be a radio receiver and antenna in is ear.

A bi-partisan panel of scientist convened in Washington to discuss this abnormality. After hours of fierce debate, the only thing they had decided for certain was that President Clinton did indeed have sexual relations with that woman, Ms. Lewinsky, and even then many of the Democratic scientist and the one Socialist scientist remained unconvinced.

Eventually, it was decided that the panel should review some clips of George W. Bush, and attempt to analyze his behavior for any ear-radio influence. After many more hours of study, the panel came across a little-known. little-seen clip of George W. Bush making a decidedly pro-Cow speech.

As scientists should, the panel members quickly declared the implications "staggering." If indeed the Bovine Fascist Party is somehow controlling W, and should W be elected (his only opponent, Al Gore, may be a Robot in cahoots with aliums), if could mean--staggeringly so--that the Cows may soon rise again.