The estimated world population, based on the 2000 planetary census is approximately fifty billion. Of this catastrophically fumming huge number, almost fifty percent, or half, or twenty-five billion of this figure possess the irritating character flaw of stupidity.

But, what is stupidity? The Century Dictionary (Paradigm House, 1914), defines stupidity as "the state of being stupid." Obviously, that dictionary was written by stupid people. And, thus, we don't have a useful stuffy-sounding dictionary definition of stupidity.

Stupidity, though, goes far beyond just a redundant dictionary definition. It is everywhere, even, to the surprise of many, apparent in almost everyone who works for the National Liar. Not only that, but nearly all of the House of Representative and two thirds of the Senate are legally stupid. If that isn't depressing enough, both the Republican and Democratic candidates for president are blatantly stupid.

The National Liar, in an attempt to get more statistics, took a survey. It found that only one in five people knew who their congressman is and, if so, if he or she is stupid.

Stupidity is caused by an chemical imbalance in the hyperpseudoparahydrocarbonicypsychozephyricalmega cortex of the brain (also known as the stupidity center, or the "South Park" region). When under stimulated, as in instances of extreme boredom this area of the brain emits chlorophlourocarbons, which agitate a stupid person. When the stupidity center is overstimulated, usually but sugar, it induces a sort of hysteria. In all cases and imbalance in the stupidity cortex results in slow reasoning and an unholy attraction to "South Park."

"South Park" is actually the single most common carrier of stupidity. With only seven minutes of "South Park" viewing, the viewer's I.Q. may go down as much as fifteen points.