Somewhere in North America&emdash In a shocking revelation today, a large group of conspiracy freaks congregated outside Area 51 discovered a skull on the ground. This skull was quickly determined to be that of Satan, due to its abnormal horns, which a not present on a normal human skull.

In a press release earlier today, the Satan administration affirmed that Satan would try to recover his skull by any and all legal means. To some, this means a lawsuit, to others, this means eternal damnation; to others they are the same thing.

The skull is being examined at the University of Baghdad, in Iraq.