MIDDLETOWN, New Jersey-- In a shocking revelation, Middletown High School North Principal Emil Binotto announced his contraction of a rare and previously unknown disease.

This new disease, tentatively named Emil Binotto's Disease is caused by a fungus which grows on the retina and optic nerve. When contracted, the victim can only see in shades of orange and black, making you feel like you're at a Sunkist/Black Licorice festival at all times.

The students were truly stunned.

"Oh my Gawd, I like, feel so bad for him," said a distraught student, "I hope he doesn't touch me."

Others expressed their grief and dismay during Binotto's startling announcement by throwing wadded-up paper balls at fellow students after the announcement.

Money is being poured into finding a cure for Binotto's Disease. Plans for new football uniforms, cash for Grade-Q cafeteria meat and all funding for asbestos removal have been put on hold while a cure is found.

"I believe we may have made an advancement in research," said CJ Silva, head Fungus-Researcher Guy, "It's called Binotto's Oil, and it will be unveiled as soon as I receive my next paycheck."

Though no one else has reported additional cases of the disease, people are still worried.

"Still," said one student, "I'd take E.B.D. over [High School] South's Ebola virus any day."