A John Donnelly Joint

MIDDLETOWN, New Jersey-- New information has been surfacing to suggest that something odd and satanic is occurring the so-called bubble. Specifically, a satanic cult.

Recently, there has been a rash of fire alarms going off due to the massive bonfires they use to sacrifice small goats.

"I saw them herding these animals into the bubble," said student Andrew Edelman. "I think they were goats or something."

There rituals have gotten out of hand causing damage to their holy bubble. To cover this up, the feds have blamed it on students.

"What the hell are you talking about?" said a disgruntled construction worker.

Indeed clues are all around as to the spectacularly not-kosher activities of the bubble.

"It looks like a Ku Klux Klan hat," said student John Donnelly.

In various gym classes, students reported chanting emanating from the bubble.

"It sounded like a Britney Spears song," said a student. "It drove me crazy."