New York&emdash; Late Saturday night, former rock superstar Alvin Seville, formerly of "Alvin and the Chipmunks," was found unconscious in his hotel room last night. He was bleeding heavily, apparently due to a drug overdose. Witnesses report that he was seen checking into his hotel room with three prostitutes.

Upon interrogation, the prostitutes revealed the details. "After we got into the room, Alvin started mixing rum, vodka, and whiskey." After a while, he started doing lines of coke, then he began convulsing."

Those who remember Alvin remember the bright-eyed rock superstar. After everyone realized how lame three singing chipmunks were, his career started going downhill. After a failed attempt at a comeback, then known as Alvin and the Chip-funks, the brothers broke up. Simon told reporters he didn't care when asked. Theodore declined to comment.