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Nathan Engquist Homework Essay due 1/23/01 English 102 section
402 It is
sometimes difficult to fully understand what other individuals go through
without going through it yourself. Those
who suffer the injustice of differential treatment know the pain. Some people, like Christy Brown, are born without the fortune
of bodily control. Brown could not
even convey the simplest thoughts he might have to others. What about those who are oppressed and controlled by someone
in such a strong way, that any attempt on the victim’s part to communicate to
the outside is thwarted by the domineering oppressor? What if any communication to the oppressor was either ignored
or the oppressor wasn’t concerned? The
ability to speak and the inability to say what needs to be said have the power
to greatly affect a person’s life. Richard
Rhodes writes of his life as a boy in a situation where, although he possesses
the power of speech, such speech may as well not be heard.
Rhodes had an abusive, controlling, stepmother who didn’t want anything
to do with Rhodes. Brown’s
life is difficult for many years because of his inability to communicate his
thoughts to others. Brown writes of
his feelings towards wanting to express himself in writing, “I wanted
desperately to do what my sister was doing,” as he sees his sister writing on
a chalkboard. After he communicates
for the first time he says it felt like, “my road to a new world, my key to
mental freedom.” Experiencing the
inability to communicate, and then overcoming this, is definitely a cornerstone
and defining moment for Christy. If
it weren’t an important moment, he wouldn’t have written at such length
about it. “Slapping
us, kicking us, bashing our heads with a broom handle or a mop or the stiletto
heel of a shoe, slashing our backs and the backs of our legs with the buckle of
a belt.” Sounds like an
experience that causes thousands of dollars in future psychiatric treatment! Perhaps maybe something closer to a cause of post-traumatic
stress syndrome like that which is experienced by some Vietnam War veterans.
However, after forty years of peace, Rhodes who wrote those words about
his unpleasant experiences with his stepmother, does not awaken in the middle of
the night because of these particular memories.
It was the psychological warfare which really affected Rhodes. Rhodes’ concern comes when he awakens once a month or so in
pain, for he made the mistake of sleeping accidentally with some liquid that had
yet to leave his body and once again has reflexively tightened his sphincter
muscles as he did forty years earlier. Rhodes
could’ve spoken to someone somehow, or maybe he felt paralyzed by fear at that
time and couldn’t speak. His
inability to speak about that which needed to be said, has changed his life
permanently. This inability to
speak does not necessarily mean it is Rhodes fault for not speaking up.
He may have felt unable to speak for fear of retaliation by his
stepmother. It bothered him so much
that he wrote an essay about how his stepmother abused him and spent four out of
five pages writing about the psychological pain and warfare of control rather
than expanding on the one page of the actual physical pain that she bestowed
upon him. In my own
life there have been times when for one reason or another I couldn’t speak.
I know, for example, that a certain friend of mine is being cheated on by
his unfaithful significant other. However,
since it was my girlfriend who has come to this information and told me in
confidence of my silence, I am hereby bound to stay silent.
Yet morally wishes to prohibit me from keeping this vow of silence it
conversely keeps me from breaking the silence for it is also morally wrong for
me to go against my word. She will
not allow me to say anything, for if the information gets out it may be traced
to her telling me about this. Knowing
such information and having this inability to speak is definitely affecting me
because I don’t think it is alright for someone to be cheated on and then go
on in a relationship thinking that everything is going beautifully.
Hence I am torn between morality, and then morality.
Two different morals which do not have a clear hierarchical scheme for me
to follow and choose from. To
betray a friend by continued silence, or to be a friend but one who doesn’t
keep his word to his very most trusted friend and watching her lose
relationships with so called “friends” over my actions.
In the meanwhile, my indecision is intermingled with many issues and the
illusion of happiness in their relationship causes me anguish. The
consequences of being unable to communicate in various situations may appear
small or insignificant at the moment perhaps, but it is quite clear that silence
always carries a burden, be it good or bad.
Brown missed out on any form of sharing his feelings for five years, and
having a normal social childhood stage to develop.
He was lucky because many others with the same condition as Brown never
find a way to share their minds with others.
Rhodes cannot sleep every night for even the mere period of one month
without the reminders of what came of his inability to speak out for help.
Perhaps Rhodes could have spoken to others about this.
Whether or not there were others around may be irrelevant.
Whatever a person perceives as reality for them, is reality for them.
If Rhodes felt that he couldn’t speak to others about this, he was truly
verbally paralyzed. In all
people, whatever it is which we decide to perceive as reality, becomes our
reality. As I live life, I am even reminded almost daily, about what
comes from not speaking about something. I
am always made aware of this causal connection between communication and what
happens to our lives as a result of it. After
all, what am I to do if my friend and his/her unfaithful partner decide to get
married one day?
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