In sixth grade, Mike Coulson was the typical "gifted slacker." Everybody knows someone that fits this description. They possess great amounts of intelligence, and assume that this gives them a free pass through life and that they are exempt from doing things that everyone else has to do. Of course, this included homework. Coulson never did his homework. In sixth grade English class, Coulson sat to the left of me; we passed our homework to the right. The call for homework to be passed up came. I didn't even look to my left; I never did. What was the point? I passed my homework to the kid sitting next to me when I heard Coulson's voice.

"Nate...I did my homework, here."

(Silence).

Stunned, I slowly turned and grasped the homework. It was...complete; like a normal human being would have done it. Jon Aronson (also known as "Jondy" for reasons unknown) caught wind of the news.

"Coulson, you actually did your homework?"

"Yeah...so don't do anything to it!" Jondy was notorious at the time for being a bit of an asshole, and thus it wouldn't have surprised anyone had he "accidentally" forgotten to pass Coulson's homework to the teacher.

I took Coulson's homework and passed it down to Jon, who was at the end of the row. The teacher was on the other side of the room.

"Coulson...wouldn't it be funny if I ate your homework?" It would have been. Coulson honestly had never done his homework.

"Jondy...don't even think about it," he replied. I chuckled, but didn't expect him to consume it. In retrospect, this was probably naive of me. Jondy had gotten a reputation for eating some extremely odd objects. He ate everything he could find. He ate a football card. He ate a chewed up and regurgitated Kit-Kat bar (side note: that is fucking disgusting).

So it really should not have come to a surprise when Jon took the homework, crumbled it into a ball, and shoved it down his throat, finally swallowing it.

"Jondy! What are you doing?!" Coulson exclaimed in disbelief. I burst into laughter, as did Jondy (and everyone else on our side of the room). He actually ate the kid's homework. The teacher made his way over to our side of the room to collect the homework.

"Mike...didn't do your homework again, I presume?" he presumed.

"I did!"

"Then why isn't it in this pile?"

"Jondy ate it!"

Imagine hearing that from a student as a teacher.

"Mike...do you really expect me to believe that? That is the worst excuse you've ever come up with. Look, you've really got to start doing your homework and stop coming up with pathetic excuses like that. You should be ashamed." He walked away.