What is Domination and
Submission?
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Domination and submission quite simply is
a relationship between two or more people in which the roles are clearly
defined as to who is in charge. For the purposes of this writing I will be referring
to it in terms of Male Domination and female submission. I studied this
question in terms of what I have observed read, lived and believe so far on my
own journey. This will probably grow and change a bit as I grow and learn which
helps keep me open minded and aware. The place to begin is to look at what
defines relationships and then show the relation and/or integration of D/s in
such.
Relationships are usually formed or based
on the following four elements, sometimes only one or 2 of these elements are
present but I believe the more complex the relationship the more elements that
are in place.
·
Physical- This is directing or
responding to the physical level.
·
Intellectual- directing
or responding on an intellectual level.
·
Emotional- directing or responding on
an emotional level.
·
Spiritual- directing or responding on
a spiritual level.
At a physical level Domination is
directing another to do something on a physical level, obey a command, follow a
ritual, react in some way with their body. By itself
this type of Domination seems to require little finesse and I have seen it used
by many by itself short term, in conjunction with other elements long term.
While in itself it is a relatively small part of D/s it is important because
some form of physical dominance is in any relationship. Submission at a
physical level requires simply reacting to a command or situation which
requires a physical response. For females this is usually the very easiest form
of submission. Obeying a command is not that difficult until the other elements
are introduced.
Intellectual Domination is anything the
Dominant does to inspire a thinking reaction or response on the part of the
submissive. This form of Domination is usually well thought out and
incorporates some part of the physical yet can stand on its own. Intellectual
submission is responding to a command or direction that requires thought and
insight. In my opinion most people keep some thoughts to themselves and well
guarded, this is an excellent opportunity to submit. Being open with your
thoughts and beliefs makes a person vulnerable and receptive. The potential for
abuse is more present here than the physical as the submissive one begins to be
exposed.
Emotional Domination and submission, I may
annoy a few females here but I firmly believe females are by far the more
emotional of the two genders and are ruled by them far more often. While I do
not believe being emotional is a bad thing, I have in fact come to value this aspect
of myself I do know that in decision making I would prefer to leave this aspect
to the less emotional one in the relationship. The potential for abuse and
manipulation at this level is extreme. And nearly everyone has experienced this
at some level male and female. In Domination I think its
very important for the Dom to be aware of emotions but not ruled by them. I
would want a Dominant that "feels" something for me but I would not
want one who let either His emotions or mine control the relationship. Emotions
are a wonderful thing and many times are the first thing noticed in a
relationship; I do not feel they are the most important thing however.
As a relationship
progresses many will feel a "connection" a bond. And begin to
commit themselves more fully to the relationship or faced with the lack of this
may choose not to explore further. This to me is the spiritual element, as a Dominant exercises His control over His charge, the
feelings of responsibility and commitment should deepen and lead to new
heights. As the submissive learns to trust and open more fully her resistance
to his leadership should begin to disappear and she should be reacting to
commands more by instinct to please rather than to avoid unpleasant
consequences. This element is special and although it can be felt briefly at
many different times it takes a distinct commitment from both involved to
sustain it and hopefully incorporate it into every aspect of the relationship.
As a side note I do believe a person can be wounded spiritually and I believe
this can be devastating and extremely difficult to recover from.
Domination and submission is a
relationship between at least two people that incorporates some or all of the
elements mentioned above. How those elements are introduced and used in a
relationship determines to a great extent how it progresses. I believe that as
a lifestyle this relationship is more back to basics and more what
relationships were intended to be. Being female I do not feel lesser or
inferior in any way to the one I submit to. I feel cared for, respected and a
lot more sure of myself in this relationship that very
clearly defines my role and gives me the security that I believe God intended.
Biblically relations between Man and Woman were modeled after Gods relationship
with His people or Christ and the Church. Submitting to one in such a way is
neither degrading or humiliating but a most beautiful and liberating
experience.
Not everyone will believe that the
spiritual element is necessary or even desired. For myself it is very much a
part of this lifestyle for me and I could not submit at least not long term if
this element were missing. There are many things I do not know or understand
about the Domination side of D/s but I do believe that my role is as important
and necessary and that the value comes from both sides. Many people on both
sides of the fence have differing opinions concerning this to done degree or
another, from what I have seen, read and experienced this is what I believe at
this time, some of it I have believed in my heart all my life as I grow and
learn some parts will expand or change but its my deep belief that D/s has been
a core part of my value and belief system and I do not see that changing.