| OOC Theater P2 |
| Posted By Hermy: Witness the Villiany that is the Cogsie Bunch. Led by the leecherous Cog . This man is evil incarnate. No one is safe around him, and their underwear less so. He seeks nothing less then utter control of Garic's City. He is aided by his band of heartless henchmen. Redrik He's surly. He's Elven. He's a monster. The less said about this dastardly devil the better. Lowlife Lord of the Sewers. He commands a legion of fiendish rats to do his evil bidding. Arnor The zombie barbarian. He has killed more innocent citizens of Garic's then anyone else. Esgir The mad scientist. He abandoned sanity long ago in his quest to create mechanical soilders to aid in the conquest. Aria Umberhawk Amazon warrior. She lives to beat all men into submission. NaShae This seductress has led many a poor man to his death at the headsmans axe. Slaggar A man so mean, so vicsious that even his mother calls him Cruel. Darkar The Master of Interrorgation. No means is below him when it comes to breaking someones spirit. And last but not least Ivan Granitehammer The Dwarven taskmaster. He is as hard as his last name. He has been known to kill his workers for minor differances of opinions. Who can confront these sinister souls? Is there any hope for Garic's? Is it doomed to anguish under cog's malevolent thumb? |
| Posted By Hermy: Hark! Here they come! The most Magnificant Menagre of Pure Goodness ever assembled! TEAM HILLDEER Led by Daron Hilldeer . A man so gallant, so charming, so beloved by the masses. If he were any more noble he'd be crowned King and Queen of Garic's City. Mr. Hilldeer is aided in his quest by his faithful halfling sidekicks: Weehawk the Wonderfull A seasoned vetren who always stands tall for his beliefs even in the face of over whelming odds. Hermy the Hero The bravest halfling to ever walk the streets of Garics. He is the stuff legends are made off. Also members of Team Hilldeer Sir Treble A knight of the city and a true lover of all mankind. Kywyn A mystery cloaked in riddles wrapped in inscrutability. If he has a weakness it is a drab wardrobe. Gamis A true paladin in every sense. He has a prayer for ever occasion. And many occasions to pray. Cassius The warriormage. He gave up great power to join the side of righteousness. Naetaelae A soothesayer and enchantress. She can procure any magic item imaginable. and helping Team Hilldeer in it's crusade against the forces of evil Gerug Commander of Garics elite crime fighting force. A showdown is coming. Who will emerge victorious? Who will rule Garic's city? Stay tuned. |
| Posted by Gerug: Open to a view of an abandoned, wrecked Garic's city. Suddenly, from the left, we see Cog stride slowly into view. Cog: (with grit) What happened here? Arnor appears behind him, to the left, NaShae to his right. NaShae: I'd say one of your rivals got out of hand, boss. Cog: Couldn't be Marroc - the DMs have him too securely under their thumbs right now. And we left Redrik tied to that tree when we burned the grove. That leaves... Pan across the set to see Daron Haldar saunter out of a wrecked building, patting the sword at his side. In front of him are his halfling honour guard, Hermy and Weehawk. Standing in the doorway behind him is Cassius Gaia. Daron: Cog, you worm in a dog's intestines! Wasn't expecting you back! Cog: Daron, you stain on the wall of the monkey cage! You didn't think you could stop me, did you? Daron: Well, now, I think the numbers speak for me... He snaps his fingers, and Treble appears in a door across the street, while Natala appears atop another building. Daron looks annoyed, then snaps again. Then a third time, before a sheepish looking Kywyn, seemingly adjusting his clothing, appears behind Treble. Cog and Daron: :uh huh: Kywyn: It's not what it seems... Treble: More's the pity. :( Cog: Riiight... well, before you get too sure of yourself, Haldar... Cog snaps his fingers, and the figure of Lowlife seems to rise from out of the ground, rats at the ready, while Darkar appears to materialize from Cog's own shadow. Meanwhile, Ivan descends from the sky to land in an earth-shaking crouch in front of the innkeeper, attempting his level best to look as though he has not shattered every bone below his hips. Cog: :confused: Now where are - they wouldn't! ARIA! ESGIR! Get out here! An explosion rips down a building behind and to the left of Cog. We see Esgir hanging four feet up the only beam still standing, while Aria suddenly sits up from within the wreckage. Both have the most disturbingly beatific looks on their smoke-blackened faces. Cog: Aria! How could you? Aria: What can I say? The gnome knows fireworks. Cog: Riiiight. We'll discuss this later. Right now, it's time to pull out our ace in the hole - KAL! Kal-Zakkath suddenly appears out of the same building formerly occupied by Treble and Kywyn, looking even more embarrassed than Kywyn had. Kal-Zakkath: It's not what it... Cog: Look, I don't want to know, okay? But what are you doing with Haldar's men? Treble: Not enough. :( Kal-Zakkath and Kywyn: :mad: Daron: He was our inside man - we couldn't have wrecked your bar without him. Weehawk: Or me! Daron: Or you, Weehawk. Hermy: Or me, Mr. Hilldeer! Daron: (sighs) Or you, Hermy. Look, Hermy, could you just call me Daron? No, better yet - call me Bob. You can't possibly screw that name up... Cog: (with the look of a man whose voice finally caught up with the motion of his jaw) You... wrecked my... bar? Daron: Bar, tavern, inn, collection of LEM issues... NaShae: Free at last! Cog: I've still got the June edition, you know. NaShae: :( Cog: You shouldn'a done that, Daron. I was just gonna' run you outta' town. Now I have to get nasty about it. Daron: Take your best shot, punk. All of the arranged combatants assume a more ready stance, though Ivan appears to have trouble standing, and Esgir's ready stance involves falling with a squawk and then rapidly standing to dust himself off. Voice: Ahem! All turn to see... All: Marshal Raen! We pan down to see a guard leaning against another building, his helmet tipped over his eyes. With a casual moment, he slips it back to look at the assembled characters. Light glints off of his teeth as he grins. Raen: Now what's all this, here? You weren't planning a rumble in my city, were you? Daron: Hate to tell you, Raen, but this isn't your city. Cog: Turkey-brain here's right, marshal. You're only one man - how are you going to stop us? Raen: Well, now, you're right. I don't have the back-up I should - funny that there's never an NPC around when you need one. But I got to thinking, and I decided to bring in some hired help. Daron: Oh? Who'd you get? Zanderat's the only character out there without an allegiance, right now, aside from Gerug. Cog: Where is that dwarf anyway? Pan briefly to Gerug, off screen, who we see typing Raen: Oh, no - nobody from around here. No, but you've probably heard of him - does the name Gravedigger mean anything to you? All (save Raen): :eek: No! Not... With a hardy WHAM! the building behind Raen collapses into dust, and the mercenary appears, his weapon still raised in mid-stroke. Arturick: Evening, all. Who's first? :evil grin: |
| Posted By Gerug: The Place: Natala's Mystic Shop We see Natala sitting with a deck of cards, a pained expression on her face. Natala: Well, I hope whoever exchanged my deck for Pokemon cards is happy now... :mad: We cut briefly to Weehawk, who is flinging said cards one at a time into the air, grinning madly at the way they soar and shift. Natala: It's a good thing that business has been slow... Suddenly a figure enters the room. Natala: .oO(Typical.) Greetings, Tao Valda. Tao Valda: How did you know it was me? Natala: I have been trained to look beyond the veil, to see what is hidden to others, to... Tao Valda: You read my SN, didn't you? Natala: :blush: Tao Valda: :D Natala: What can I do for you? Tao Valda: If you were any good, you wouldn't have to ask. Natala: (Concentrates) No, I can see it has nothing to do with the way you've been selling items from the armory on the black market to pay for your own personal... gymnasium... Tao Valda: .oO(She's good...) Natala: .oO(Yes, I owe Bradachin big time for that little tip.) Tell you want - why don't you save me the time it will take me to sort through your other problems and just tell me the one I should be looking at? Tao Valda: It's Treble. He doesn't visit any more. :( Is he seeing another woman? Natala: .oO(Oh, this is gonna' be too easy!) Let me just check the cards... Natala lays her first card... Tao Valda: :uh huh: SNORLAX? Natala: No, no, this is the Hanged Man. Tao Valda gets a goofy grin. Natala: "Hanged," not... oh, never mind. It is a symbol of sacrifice, the... Tao Valda: So if I offer up the hearts of these other women as sacrifices, then Treble will be completely mine? Natala: :uh huh: .oO(Someone else seems to be playing with the wrong deck as well, it seems.) We briefly cut back to Weehawk, who is still madly throwing cards about, oblivious to the fact that he is just about to step off of a cliff. Natala: NO! Er, no, I mean, this card means that Treble has given up all other women for you. There are no other women in his life. Tao Valda: So I have him all to myself? Natala: Well... .oO(What are you doing? Shut up! Don't you remember what she did to her last rival in love, not to mention the man and the messenger?)...yes. Yes, indeed. But you may want to makes sure you don't interfere when he wants a night out with the boys. Tao Valda: But won't he use that as an excuse to pursue other women? Natala: Trust me. Now, if you'll excuse me... Tao Valda: But aren't you supposed to use more cards? Natala: Not according to the efficiency expert I hired last week. Tao Valda: Oh. (Pays for the reading and leaves.) Natala: That was too close. Well, the rest of the day should be much easi... Suddenly, shanks enters the room. Natala: .oO(I will learn to keep my mouth shut some day.) shanks: Turning off the thought balloons wouldn't be a bad idea either. Now, then, Natala, what do you foresee in your future? Natala: Nothing good. shanks: Well done! I always knew you were the genuine article... :evil grin: (Fade to black) |
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| Posted by Gerug: The Lords of Garic's City (who all, strangely, resemble a certain dwarf): For your courage and daring in defeating the amassed goblin army to the... west (?), we present you this medal. How ever did your small group manage such an incredible task? Cog (who appears to be shorter than usual, and trying to hide a beard under a false chin): We kept forgetting to take a prisoner. :blush: |
| Posted by Gerug: Hermy: I want to speak to Ourdominatrix. I need to become a real powerful cleric so I can bring back all of the people who had their souls eaten by the wraiths. My brother Kirby once told me that clerics help people for free, which is why he didn't ask them for the money in that collection box. |
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| Posted by Gamis Mystic, Treble, and Daron, hunting through the city, shotguns in hand Daron: Where'd it go? Mystic: How the hell do you lose a nearly 700-post CoF pigeon in a city? *Treble approaches a microphone standing freely and taps it* Treble: (into the mic) Caw! K-Caw! Tookie-tookie-tookie! Daron: Treble! I think we've established that K-Caw K-Caw and Tookie-tookie don't work. *Treble waxes country western* Treble: Ah toooooold (voice breaks) you so Girl I tooooold you sooooooo Mystic: ... Stand back, Daron, I'm gonna shoot him. Daron: No, stand down, I've got this one... *cha-chank!* *in the distance can be heard a distant sound, somewhere between a bird call and the moan of a whoopie cushion* Treble: See? :p Daron: (sighing) Go on, then... rub a little... cow patty... on it, or something... *Treble throws his back into the next line of the song* Mystic: Won't earn him an Emy... Daron: (wincing) Maybe a gag, though... *the sounds of their quarry banking to come at them can be heard: heavy wingbeats, and more of the honking, noisemakers, and whoopie-cushion noise* Mystic: Keep it up, Treble! *they ready their shotguns while Treble continues to imitate a strangling cat* *their quarry bursts into view from over a rooftop...* *Kyra...* |
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| Posted by Gerug A small - and very crowded - room. Fern and Perrin climb a ladder into a band of children. Perrin: Kids, say hello to Auntie Fern! Kids: (sing-song) Hello, Auntie Fern! Fern waves weakly. Perrin: As of now, these young pick-pockets are your charges. You will monitor their activities. Fern: .oO(Oh, boy...) Perrin: You will protect them from merchants and guards and their own foolishness. Fern: .oO(Something tells me that Talleran was the lucky one.) Perrin: You will ensure that they are not holding back any of their earnings, and in return, you are to make sure they have enough to eat. You may even reward the most successful ones as you see fit, so long as you meet your quotas - but you'd best make sure they aren't taking unnecessary risks for those rewards. Fern: .oO(Garban! Where are you in my hour of need?) Perrin: Any questions? Fern: No. (Yes! What kind of sadistic monster set me up for this?) shanks: :devil: Fern: .oO(At least it can't get any worse.) Hermy: Auntie Fern! I brought pie! Fern: .oO(Oh, no.) :( Hermy: Don't worry, Auntie Fern - I found enough for everyone! |
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| Posted by Low-life ....contingency plan one thousand, one hundred and eighteen: If the goblins surrender, use them as pack mules to carry the 1000s of gold pieces of weapons and armour back to Garic.... ....contingency plan one thousand, one hundred and nineteen: If Nashae is prone at Lowlifes feet she should play dead and let him lead the goblin forward, then strike it from behind.... ....contingency plan one thousand, one hundred and twenty: If the goblins summon a giant hamster, we distract it whilst Esgir builds a giant wheel.... |
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| Posted By Gerug: We start this scene in a small room - no, wait, that won't work. An open field - no, that's not quite it either. We see a shepherdess make her way along a mud-filled (well, mostly mud) gully. (Much better!) Ely: "Go out into the hills," sifu said! "Clear your mind," sifu said! Why didn't sifu mention that would involve having this smell shovelling out my brains through my nose? Why couldn't this involve clearing my body? A bath would be most welcome right about now! Right, that's it! We're heading to the city! You lot are mutton! .oO(The proceeds ought to buy me a fast horse and a comfortable life in some village near a hot spring. Wait a minute...) Okay, where's Tulip? Sheep #74: .oO(You know the herder's been in the field too long when she knows the sheep by name. Even if its the wrong name. Grass-Slayer isn't going to like being called "Tulip!") Ely: Aw, no - don't tell me she's... All sheep: .oO(He! Grass-Slayer is a he! How did we survive this long with leadership like this?) Ely: ...gone into the city! I hate cities! Sheep #21: .oO(Boy, did you pick the wrong game!) We cut to the city, the dark, gloomy city - or at least it always seems that way within five metres of Kywyn, who is currently walking the streets. Kywyn: .oO(Where will I find one worthy of the Avowed's attention?) "Tulip": Baa! Kywyn: .oO(This sheep! Such awesome potential! Truly, the Awowed will be pleased if I can bring this one into our fold!) |
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| Posted By Kywyn: Sheep: Baa baa baa <You, elf girl! Fetch me some grass. The green stuff, none of that stale brown crap> NaShae: :confused: Sheep: Baa Baa! <You go now!> NaShae: :confused: Sheep: Baa Baa Baa?... <You just don't learn, do you?...> *Sheep proceeds to head-butt NaShae repeatedly in the knees* NaShae: Kywyn, do something... Voice from the Darkness: I'min! Tulip has been promoted. You now take orders from her... *Sheep stops head-butting for a moment* Sheep: Baa! *Kywyn shrugs* Kywyn: Sorry, NaShae... *Kywyn starts head-butting NaShae in the small of the back as Tulip works on her knees* |
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| Posted by Gerug: We see Hermy in a... yes, it's a small room again, okay? Anyway, he's training his kittens. Hermy: So far, you have mastered the art of five-weapon fighting, balance, grappling (ow), spring attack, and dog-riding. (Very nice bit of intitiative that was too, Wraithfire!) But tonight, I am going to share with you my ultimate techique! The... {dramatic pause] berserker rage! Observe! Hermy crouches and flexes, holding his breath and puffing himself up until he looks ready to explode. Hermy: Now... in this... (grunt) state... I can... can... overwhelm foes with my... newfound... fury-enhanced strength. Right... after... I take a little... nap. (Hermy falls over on his back.) Hermy: Now... you... try... it. Wraithfire: Mew! Shadowkiller: Mew! |
| Posted by Gerug Yes, it's All in the Party: Arnor: (Seated in a large, comfortable chair) Hey, NaShae, hurry up wit' my beer, ah? NaShae: Coming, Arnieeeee! Lowlife: Y'know, Arn - you really shouldn't treat her like that. Arnor: Did I ask for your opinion, meathead? And why are you playing this role. I'd have thought Aria would be Gloria, so that Cog was... Cog: I've already got a role, barbie - I'm George Jefferson! Arnor and Lowlife: :uh-huh: Aria: Well, we're movin' on up... |