PG 13 UNEDITED
PG 13 ENEDITED
Wanna see the PG version?
Was gonna wait for someone to look at it...but here goes. Never done this before so no where near as good as Shae's....
Instructor: Now, I�m sure we all know why we are here.
Everyone: (unemotional) Anger Management...
Instructor.: Well, let�s show a little more enthusiasm...
Matt: Why am I here? I never have anger problems!
Instructor: Yeah that is the problem.
Matt: What? That doesn�t make ANY sense!
Dale Jr: Dude, you can�t lose it once in a while?
Tony: Yeah. Do we have to bump your ass for you to respond?
Dale Jr: Heh, Good one Tony!
Instructor: Ok, let�s not jump all over each other..
Tony: No wait seriously what is up?
Matt: What? You want me to lose it right here and now?
Instructor: No, no, let�s not get crazy now!
Tony.: Yeah! C�mon show some anger! Hit Kurt! (laughs)
Kurt: Hey! What did I do?
Instructor: Enough! Tony you wanna come here every single day?
Tony: No, no, I�m sorry. I �ll be good.
Rusty: HAHA!
Tony: Excuse me! Did you exhale or do you have something to say to me?
Dale Jr.: Dudes!
Instructor: Ok, Tony don�t get all paranoid. This isn�t WWF.
Jimmy: I never EVER forget!
Kurt: SHUT UP!!!
Everyone: WE KNOW JIMMY!
Matt: Seriously can I go?
J. Gordon is asleep in the chair.
Tony: (noticing) Can I pinch him?
Instructor: No.
Tony: I assure you it will awake him. (laughs)
Instructor: No.
Tony: Well, this sucks...Jeff can sleep and we get yelled at. What fun this is...(slumps back in chair, arms folded.)
Matt: Quit complaining, Tony! Do you really think we ALL wanna be here?
Dale Jr: (taking sucker out of his mouth) I do! Because it keeps me away from the media.
Instructor.: Alright can we move on. Let�s talk about the punch to Kurt.
Tony: HAHA! Rubber boy got it!
Kurt: Shut up, Depot!
Tony: Yup, that�s my sponsor. Thanks for the plug in.
Instructor: Ok, so Jimmy why did you hit Kurt?
Dale Jr snickers.
Jimmy: Well dumbo ears...
Instructor: Can we have the name calling to a minimum, please?
Jimmy: He was talkin� all shit about how he wanted to take me out. I�M SO SICK OF THIS BOY!!
Jimmy Lunges toward Kurt.
Instructor: SECURITY!
Everyone starts laughing. Jimmy gets taken away by a police officer.
Jeff finally awakes.
Tony: Oops, woke the beast.
Jeff Gordon: Huh?
Instructor: Glad you can join us.
Jeff: What�s going on?
Tony: Uh, duh, we�re in Anger Management. Something I strongly recommend you paying attention to!
Jeff: What the hell? Why are you getting on my case?
Tony: Because I didn�t appreciate the finger you gave me. Didn�t think I saw it, huh?
Instructor: Whoa. Ok Tony tell your story.
Matt: Seriously I don�t belong here.
Everyone: SHUT UP!
Tony: Jeff thought I was holding him up or in his way, whatever. He gives me the finger!
Jeff: Oh. my. God! Who frockin� cares? Dude I give the finger all the time...look (flips the bird.)
Everyone: OOOOO!!
Instructor: Jeff that was uncalled for!
Matt: (sarcastically) This is fun... Seriously fun.
Tony: Hey, aren�t you the one that said (mocking) 'quit complaining', a moment ago? Practice what you preach, boy.
Suddenly
Dale Jr: (looking around) Hey, Where the hell is Kurt?
Tony: (slightly laugh) Probably getting pounced by Jimmy.
The Instructor stares at Tony. Tony notices.
Tony: (serious) Umm, sorry.
Instructor: Why this sarcasm Tony? It�s more than usual.
Tony: Sorry, I�m just tired of getting bit by the fucking fuel bug! I�m tired of these finishes...Damn where is Kurt when you need him?
Instructor: Can we get to the point before Jeff or myself falls asleep again, please?
Tony: HAHA, I can see it now in the headlines: Anger Management Instructor Falls Asleep During His Own Session.
Dale Jr: What the hell? Now where did Matt go?
Everyone looks around. No Matt in sight!
PART TWO:
Robby Gordon appears at the door.
Instructor: Hey Robby come on in!
Tony/Jeff: Oh boy!
Jeff: So is Happy gonna join us? I have a few choice words for him.
Dale Jr: You�re still on that? Two weeks ago bro.
Jeff: Hey, I�m not happy with you either so shut it!
Robby: Wow, this looks like a great crowd. Let�s see...(he glances around the room) I�ve screwed over each and everyone of you. HAHA!
Instructor: Not a good way to start Rubby, (shakes head) er Robby!
Dale Jr/Tony: HAHA!
Instructor: Sorry, man. Major slip up. I am beginning to feel we�ll never get to why we are here. Here we are one hour later and we haven�t talked about the main topic.
Everyone suddenly grows quiet, as Mike Helton walks in.
Mike: Hey, how is it going in here? Getting through to these guys?
Instructor: (lying) Yeah. All is great.
Mike: Good to hear. I'll be going now. Remember if you need me to help keep these boys in line, I'm a phone call away.
Instructor: Yeah I will keep that in mind.
Mike nods and heads out. After the door is closed.
Instructor: Boys. I am disappointed in all of you! Why am I disappointed?
Complete silence fills the room.
TBC
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