She had never asked for much in
life, just a place to sleep, food, and her privacy. She had been given a lot more in the past
year and a lot had changed. Maturity
came with the road as well as independence.
Sure, she thought she had been independent before, but really her independence
came from mooching off others. Now she
was her own woman, taking her life by the reins and guiding it into the
direction she wanted it to go. Too bad,
after that night she didn’t know what direction that was.
It was the last night of the tour
and Rick was going back to
And there was that other small,
tiny detail. It was a detail she had
tried to forget and had forgiven instead. He had fucked up, apologized and slowly they
had reattempted whatever it was that had failed before. Four telephone conversations over a month and
a half period was not much, but it was certainly enough for her.
“Kristen!”
“What?” She glanced up in the
mirror from where she was carefully applying eyeliner. One of the guys on tour let her borrow some
one night and she liked the way it looked.
So she bought herself some.
The guy that was hanging in
through the doorway had spiked black hair and tattoos which covered his skin
under his completely black attire. He
whistled under his breath and said, “Damn bitch, you sexing up for me tonight?”
“Leave.” She turned around so she
could look him in the face and not through a mirror.
Another guy with dirty blonde hair
in dreadlocks came up behind the black haired guy and said, “Hey
“Leave me alone!” She snapped at
them, but they came in anyway, hollering down the hall for someone else to come
and see. Ben and
Soon Ben had hopped up on the
counter smoking a cigarette and she was sitting in
“So, did you decide to look hot
for the last night of the show?”
She cut her eyes to Ben and turned
around in
“Oh please. What’s the occasion?”
“I have a date tonight.” She
shrugged and smacked her lips together.
“With who?” Asked
“Justin.”
“Justin who?” Ben blew out smoke
from his nose.
“Timberlake.”
“You mean the faggot who fucks
Britney Spears?”
“He doesn’t fuck her anymore,
thankyouverymuch.”
“Ooo, hit a soft spot. I didn’t think you’d be a pussy fan, Kris.”
Ben laughed and hopped off the
counter to go sit on the couch with Doug.
“Mmm, I hope so. I love the
lesbians.”
All the guys laughed and she
turned up her nose and leaned over the counter to closely look at herself in
the mirror. She wanted to make sure
every hair was in place, every part of her face perfected. She wanted to knock him off his feet. It had been a while since she had seen him
and even longer since they had been together romantically. And even though this date was supposed to be
strictly friendly she was sure that at the end of the night she was gonna try
her best to kiss him. She knew better
and knew she should drag it out as long as possible with him, but his gravely
chuckle on the phone and the sigh in his voice when he said he missed her made
her melt, and even though he had fucked up she didn’t care. She wanted to be with her JT again.
She rolled her eyes and said, “You
guys are gross.”
“No really, who’s your date with
tonight?” Ben asked.
“I told you, Justin Timberlake.”
He shook his head. “Come on now,
Kristen.”
“I think she’s being serious,”
Said Tom. She looked at him a little
startled. Tom was always getting high
and when he came in minutes before she was sure he was stoned. She thought he had passed out on the couch
since the chatter box was being so quiet.
Apparently not. “Didn’t he come by here to see you and Rick a couple
months ago?”
“Yup.”
“You’re going on a date with a
pussy? How do you know him?” Chad
asked. He seemed rather upset about it
all. She smiled, it was no secret that
Chad had a little bit of a crush for her and she probably would have entertained
his boyish antics, charming personality and flirty behavior. But then Justin came back for her and things
changed.
“Remember, I worked on their tour before
this shitfest.”
“Well, where are you going? Is he coming here?”
She turned and smiled at Chad with
her hands on her hips. She loved teasing
him. “Are you…jealous?!”
“
“No, I think he’s just
lonely. He gets tired of using his hand.” Kristen walked over and ruffled his spiky
hair. He ducked underneath her hand and
pouted as the rest of the guys started to chant, “Wackawackawackawacka.”
“Shut up fuckers!” Chad yelled.
“Aww, I’m sorry Chadwick. But guys, I’m gonna be late. And two of you are supposed to be on in a few
minutes. You might wanna go.”
The guys groaned and complained
but finally took her raised eyebrow and frown seriously. They got up and filed out the room. Ben nodded his head at her from the doorway
and said, “Have fun.”
She walked behind
“Yeah, I’ll be around packing shit
up.”
He nodded and then said, “Later.” With that he disappeared and she shut the
door, leaning against it and staring at her reflection in the mirror. She took
a deep breath and resisted the urge to have a smoke. She needed it though, or a quick shot of some
hard liquor. The last time she had seen
him had been a surprise so she wasn’t able to make herself so anxious that her
gag reflex would start to work in over drive. But now, now she was the one that
had initiated this meeting and her stomach suddenly started to feel like it
would burst through her torso at any moment.
She closed her eyes and thought back on the last month.
First, he had come visit her and
they sort of made up. Later that night they had gone out to eat with Rick and weren’t
able to resolve things as much as she wanted.
After debating whether to call him for a week, he finally called
her. They had fought horribly about how
he seemed to not really want her since he didn’t call her right away and that
had escalated into more talk, well on her part, screaming, about the incident
that had happened with Britney. She had
hung up on him in perfect Kristen fashion.
Thirty minutes later she had
called back crying, blaming her anger on pms and begging him to not be mad at
her because she simply couldn’t be without him anymore. He listened to her cry and wail
and promised her he wouldn’t leave her.
But he couldn’t be near her because
he was going to
The next morning she had had an
apologetic voice mail about his behavior and he had said he wouldn’t act like
that again because he knew she wanted to wait for them to get serious, if it
happened. She had just giggled and saved
the message, listening to three more times that day.
The next few days were crazy for
her, they were near
She called him after a few days
and they had talked for hours. It was so
long that she ended up dozing off because it was almost four in the
morning. It was nice though, they talked
about everything imaginable. She talked
about her fears for after the tour and he confiding in her that he thought some
of the guys were a little mad that he had branched off on his own. It was great to see that they were still that
close after all that time.
He had called a few days before
and told her that he couldn’t wait to get back to LA and to his new house. He had enjoyed his time in
And now, there she was, afraid of
what was going to happen that night, and yet still utterly excited. She would be lying if she said part of her wasn’t
still mad or upset at his actions. Half
of her still wanted to cut his dick off, but that other half of her still was
in love with him, and it was that part that took over her thought process.
She was pushed out of her thoughts
when she heard her cell phone start to ring.
She walked to the counter where it was laying hooked up to her
charger. She grabbed it and flipped it
open, her breath stopping when she read the name on the caller ID.
“Hi,” she whispered.
“Hey, I’m almost there. Where do you want to meet me?”
She smiled, he seemed at ease and
that put her at ease. “Go to VIP parking.
I told the guy there to expect you.
His name’s Rodney. I’ll be right
out.”
“Ok. See ya soon.”
She bit her lip and squealed out, “K.” She hung up and did a little teeny bopper
dance. She even made some obnoxious high
pitched noise. She didn’t care. She was passed her self-bashing days for her
behavior around Justin Timberlake. He
was worth it. Even after all the
mistakes he was most definitely worth it.
-----
He took in a deep breath and let
it out slowly, wishing that somehow they could find something to talk
about. Of course, even if they were
silent he’d still be ecstatic. He couldn’t
believe it all. They were there,
together, near each other, and she was looking beautiful. She smelled beautiful, as soon as she got in
the car he noticed. He had never smelled
perfume on her before, but that night she was wearing something light, and
sweet and wonderful.
But the best thing was, she was
smiling.
He could tell she was trying to
hide it, looking out the window, and tucking her chin down in her chest. It was
infectious and soon he found himself lightly chuckling to himself. He was just so happy.
“What?”
He turned to her stunned for a
second and then turned back to watch the road as he turn off the freeway. “Nothing.
I’m just…” He sighed. “I’m really glad to be here with you.”
“You just wanna get me in the
backseat.” She curled around in her seat
and hugged her knees up against her chest.
He noticed her huge boots digging into the leather on the passenger seat
of his new Escalade, but didn’t want to mention anything and piss her off. He had always been cautious with her. And now, now with her giving him a second
chance that he didn’t deserve, he couldn’t afford to make a mistake.
“Don’t tempt me.” He winked at her and stopped at one of the
many stoplights on this familiar street.
He looked through his sunglasses at some girls walking down the sidewalk
in mini-skirts. They were so gorgeous,
but nothing more. Everything else about
them was fake.
He had always been attracted to that type of girl before he met Kristen. But now he liked pretty girls, with intense
eyes, who even looked intriguing when they had a frown.
“So where are you taking me?”
“It’s a secret.”
She groaned and he said a small
prayer when she took her boots off the leather and stretched out in the bucket
seat. “I hate secrets.”
“I know you do.” He looked to the side and was happy he had on
sunglasses so he wouldn’t catch him. He
took a peak at her belly that was exposed when she stretched.
“So then why keep them?”
He chuckled and resituated himself
in the seat, staring to feel a little uncomfortable. “Because it gets a rise out of you.”
“Oh please, I’ve changed. It’s gonna take a lot more than a stupid
secret to get a rise out of me.”
She moved to reach down and fix
her shirt, but she pulled down a little too much and the edge of her black lacy
bra peaked out from underneath the low neckline of her shirt. He took in a deep breath and stared. “Fine.”
“WATCH OUT!”
He turned his head back and
stomped on the break coming inches to hitting the car in front of him which was
stopped at a stoplight. He stared ahead,
his arms straight out, grip on the steering wheel and finally, after what
seemed like an eternity, let out a slow breath.
“Damn son! At least kill me when I have a full stomach!” She laughed uncomfortably, apparently still
shook up at their near accident.
When traffic started to go again
he took a moment to relax himself and then slowly eased the car forward. He kept his eyes on the road and tried to not
let the slightest moment from her distract him. The car ride was silent until he pulled into
gravel lot, fenced off with an exotic building in the center of it all. There were construction trucks and
landscaping trucks parked inside the fencing, as well as a few normal looking
cars.
He put the car in park and relaxed
against his seat, still on a teeny bit of an adrenaline rush from the few
moments before. Yeah, almost getting
into an accident was enough to make his blood pump, but so was her cleavage.
Kristen hit her fist against the
seat and turned to him. “Ok, where the
hell are we!?”
“Ha ha! Gettin’ a rise!” He removed his sunglasses, put them in the
compartment especially for them beside the over head light in the roof of his
car and slid his seatbelt off of him.
“Justin I hate you!” She growled.
“Sure.” He shrugged and opened his door. “Don’t worry KT, we’re here now.”
“At a
construction site?” He laughed and slammed the door at her. He went around to open her door for her, but
of course, she was already out of the car, looking around and shaking her
head. “If you have me hammering
something I swear I will run away.”
“Don’t run away from me.” He said sincerely. He looked down at her hand that was hanging
by her side. The sun was low in the sky
and she looked absolutely breathtaking with the orange
He wanted to kiss her, badly.
It almost was a shame that she
took him back, well, took back their friendship. If she had slapped him in the face and cussed
him out he would have been able to try and move beyond her and get over it
all. But she was being nice to him, and
she had talked to him so sincerely on the phone, especially that one time, when
he was a little drunk and he talked dirty to her. He knew he shouldn’t have, but the little bit
of alcohol in his system sent him on a horney rampage and she was his
target. And she didn’t mind. That was the kicker. She didn’t mind.
Even though she had always thrown
him for a loop, he could tell she was happy.
And unless she had some twisted pleasure in paying him back by getting
his hopes high and crushing them, which was very likely, he knew that she wanted
to be there with him just as much as he wanted to be there with her, even if it
was just a construction site.
“So we just gonna stand here all
night?”
He snapped out of it and placed
his hand on the small of her back, leading her towards a concrete pathway that
led to nice set of heavy looking doors.
He watched as she took everything in.
There were a few Hispanics finishing up their work for the day on the lawn
and a heavy set, scruffy-looking red head working on nailing some metal letters
into the brick wall.
“Hey Larry…” Justin said.
The man stopped what he was doing,
turned around and smiled. “Hey there Justin.”
Justin took the opportunity to
slide his hand up to her shoulder and give it a squeeze protectively. He didn’t know why, but he had the urge to do
it. He knew she probably wouldn’t push
him away in front of a stranger. It felt
good to touch her. “How’d it go today?”
The man nodded and scratched his
beard. “Great, great. Almost done. Probably gonna finish a little earlier than
expected.”
“Awesome.”
“Chuh.”
He turned and looked at
Kristen. “What?”
She looked at him and then pointed
to the letters that were nailed into the wall.
So far there was only a C and an H.
“Is that the name of whatever this is, Chuh?”
He looked down at her and knew
that after what was about to come out of his mouth and the tone, she was going
to have some sort of comment. “He’s not
done yet, dear. The name of the place is
Chi. You really think people would come
to a place called Chuh.”
“Oh…” She turned up her nose and looked
around. “Is this like some yoga spa shit
place? Cause if it is, I’m leaving.” She
sliced her hand through the air and shook her head no. “Nope, ain’t doing
it.”
Justin and Larry both laughed and
he decided it was time to get her inside before she caused a scene. “She’s a handful. Later Larry, have a good weekend.”
“You too.”
He pushed her along with his hand
to the doors and opened one for her. She
stepped inside and he followed her. He
looked around and smiled to himself.
A familiar face walked towards
them and he smiled, extending his hand. “Hello
Justin, we’re all ready for you. You
still want the table in the lounge or would you rather be at the bar?”
“Oh, whatever you all set up is
great.” Justin shrugged and then motioned
to the girl beside him, who was looking around with widened eyes. “This is Kristen Topsell.”
“Hello Kristen…” He watched them shake hands. She seemed quite in awe of where she
was. He knew it was a pretty interesting
place. “It’s wonderful to meet you. I’m Roger Stanson, I’m the manager of Chi.”
“Nice to meet you,” she said
softly.
Roger turned and waved them to
follow him. “Right this way…”
She didn’t move, just stared at
him for a moment. He nodded at her and
smiled. “Go on…”
They passed the bar on the way to
the lounge and he smiled and leaned over to shake hands with the man standing
there dressed in white. “Hey Derik.”
“Whatsup J..” Derik paused and looked over to where Kristen
was still following Roger. “Niiice.”
Justin winked and followed
them. “Don’t I know it?” He watched her ass in the tight pants for a
moment and then finally lifted his eyes to go to his seat. Roger was holding Kristen’s out for her and
she sat down stunned.
Justin sat across from her and
wiggled his eyes brows as Roger said, “What would Miss Topsell care to drink?”
“Um…Sprite?”
Justin laughed, “No, no, no, no,
no. Girl, what do you want to DRINK?”
“I don’t know,” she responded
shyly.
“I know you don’t like beer. Do you like wine?”
She shrugged and turned up her
nose a little bit. “I’ve never really
had it.”
“Hmm…” He thought for a moment and then turned to
look up at Roger. “Just have Derik make
something fruity, but nothing too
frufru. He’ll know what to do. She likes stuff with vodka in it. I just want a beer.”
“Alright. Be right back.” Roger left to go towards the bar and he was
thankful that they were alone so he could get her reaction.
He stared at her and she took a
deep breath. “Ok, so I guess we’re at a restaurant.”
“Good observation.” He laughed.
“I have some questions.”
“Shoot.”
“Where’s our
menus?”
His smile dropped and he looked
around the table for a moment and then back up at her. “Oh, they’re just gonna
bring us out lots of food to try.”
“Ok…” She paused and then said, “Why are we the
only ones here? If there’s a C rating, I’m
sorry, I’m gone.”
He laughed and rolled his eyes at
her for being so excited and overdramatic about it all. “It’s not opened, yet.”
“Oh, but…” He watched as the wheels in her head started
to turn. Her forehead wrinkled and she
sighed, “Wait…”
He knew what she was going to ask,
“No, it’s not just because I’m Justin fucking Timberlake. Well, I mean, it is.”
She turned her head to the side
and smiled a beautiful smile at him. “How
did you know...”
“I know you, girl.” He leaned over the table a little bit and
then pulled back to look around the dimly lit lounge covered in reds and blacks
and dark wood. “And this….This is mine.”
“What?” She said astonished.
“Well, I mean Art and Allan have a
part in it to. But…”
She leaned forward and asked him, “When
did this all happen? Wait, when did you
learn to cook?”
“No no…Let
me talk, dammit!”
He laughed and saw her smile in embarrassment.
“Sorry.”
He took a deep breath and looked
her in the eyes. It felt good even to do
that simple thing. It felt wonderful to
be with her and have such an open and honest conversation with her even if it
was just about a stupid restaurant. She seemed impressed, and even though that wasn’t
the reason he brought her there, it didn’t hurt matters at all. “Right after,
well, after we broke up I just…I needed to do things to keep my mind off
you. And this was one of them. Me and Trace went to
this club out here and the owners, Art and Allan, were there and we started
talking and they were working on this idea for a new restaurant, bar, nightlife
kinda thing with an Asian vibe. And we just starting shooting ideas off and I
got really interested. And so I put some
money down so I could have my name and a say in it all. And well, it’s kinda like my little baby,
now.”
“It looks…”
“Is it too much?” He interrupted.
“For lunch, yes, but for a late
night kinda thing…” she stopped from looking around and leaned forward across
the table. His eyes tried to remain on
her face, but her breasts were pressing into the table. He bit his lip as she beamed, “Justin this
place is pretty sweet.”
“Really? I mean, it means a lot what you think.”
“I like it. It’s all…I don’t know…” She searched for the word and came up with, “…sexy.”
He laughed and winked at her. “Well, I mean, we can have everyone leave and
flop right here on the table.”
“Don’t tempt me.” She mocked him from earlier, laughing. Her laugh was wonderful and he just smiled at
her as she sat there, so happy, so beautiful.
He wanted her to be his again and was trying his damndest to not get his
hopes up. But it was so hard.
She had changed, that’s for
sure. She seemed so much more confident
in herself. She was still witty and
stand-offish, but not in a bitchy way.
Now it seemed she acted the way she did for a good laugh. She was more comfortable with herself. Yeah, she was still Kristen in every sense of
the word, but somehow she had grown up.
It was probably her life on the road.
With Nsync she had a back up, him. Plus there were quite a few girls on tour,
much more so than he would assume with Ozzfest.
And he knew the crowd around that tour was a lot rougher than
theirs. It made him proud to know that
she went through it ok.
He had always had faith in her,
but knew that her tough exterior was just the shell for a young, innocent and
scared girl. That girl, he could tell
when he looked at her, was gone.
“I hope you like the food.” He said after Roger had returned their
drinks, said a few words about the restaurant and then left them alone again.
“I do too.” She cringed.
He licked his lips and lowered his
voice, “What’s wrong?”
“Well…” She chewed on her bottom lip and then said, “I’ve
always been a little scared of Asian food, especially sushi.”
“Uh oh…” He half laughed, knowing they would have some
sushi for them to try the night. “I can…”
“But…” She cut him off and reached across the table
to where his arm was resting against it.
She squeezed his hand and smiled at him.
“But I’ll try for you.”
It was a cheesy thing to do, but
in that moment he melted into this seat and prayed to God it wasn’t all some
horrible joke she was playing on him. He
also hoped by tomorrow she wouldn’t come to her senses, realize he was a
pathetic asshole and leave him.
But even if it did happen, it’d be
worth it to spend one last, pleasant, beautiful, happy night with her looking
as graceful in her boots and dark eye-liner as ever. It’d be completely worth it.
----
After two and a half hours of
talking and having dozens small plates slowly brought out to them they had
gotten back in his car and drove around
She couldn’t help herself get
excited by the way he was looking at her all night. There was desire there and hope, and several
times she caught him looking a little scared.
She realized how much power she had over him that night. She could build him up just to break him down
if she wanted to. But she didn’t want
to.
No matter what had happened, she
was still very much in love with him.
Perhaps it was his sweet smile, and his charming ways, but every time he
put his hand on her back or laughed at one of her jokes, or licked his lips at
her she wanted to go back to the way things were. She knew she should have been careful. There was a possibility he was the biggest asshole
on the planet and was just using her for some strange reason, but she felt like
she knew him better than that.
He had made a mistake, but life
was full of mistakes and she wasn’t about to let one silly drunken one ruin
their chances.
So when he offered her a job, she
was blown out of the water.
Apparently he had taken their previous
phone conversation to heart. She had
complained about not knowing what the hell she was going to do after the
tour. She would be fine living in a
hotel room until she found a job and an apartment, but that could take a while,
and she wasn’t prepared to dish out that much money to spend months in a crappy
hotel room.
They were back at the arena,
parked in the furthest space possible, sitting there, looking at one another.
She swallowed hard and blinked, “What
would you want me to do?”
“Work at Chi.” He shrugged and
then started to smile.
“I don’t wait tables.”
He laughed and slouched in his
seat a little more. “I don’t mean wait
tables, KT. I mean like...I don’t know…”
She watched as he raised his hands and then let them fall back against his
thighs. “You’re good at organizing
things and making sure everyone has what they need. You could do party reservations and
promotions for the banquet room. You’d pretty
much just be on the phone.”
“Well…” She thought about it. It was almost too much, too perfect and being
the cautious individual that she was, she was looking for the catch. “I don’t know what to say.”
“Say yes. You can quit if you hate it.”
She nodded and slowly said, “Ok…”
His smile started to brighten the
darkly lit car. “You wanna
be paid by the hour or salary or what?”
“Um...” She said uneasy.
“Like what? 20 bucks an hour?”
Her ears started to ring and her
jaw dropped. That was much more than she was making now and with the tour she
was doing heavy labor and terrible hours. “WHAT!”
“Oh, sorry.”
“How many hours would I work?”
“I don’t know.” He seemed to not have planned it out that
much. “40 a week like most people. Maybe we should just do a salary. How much you want a year?”
“I…I don’t know.”
He waved the idea away and
yawned. “We’ll figure it out.”
She sat there in the silence and
studied his profile. She had always
loved looking at it and now that they weren’t officially together she felt a
little awkward staring at him. She
realized that she wanted that back. She
wanted the comfort and security. She
wanted to feel him, actually feel him with her.
She wanted to dive into him, but something was keeping her away. Maybe it was her pride, or her common sense,
or maybe it was the stupidest part of her brain. Either way, she stayed still, looking at him
until he glanced her way, and she turned her attention back to toying with the
black rubber bracelets on her wrist.
She smiled and hit him in the arm
to get him to pay attention to her. Then
she realized she was being really silly in that moment and tried to hide the
blood rushing to her face. It was
pathetic. She was embarrassed with him,
again. It was like she as on her first
date ever with him, and in a sense, she was.
Since he was now looking at her,
waiting for her to say something, she blurted out, “I get to go apartment
hunting!”
“I’ll help you.” He smiled and then it faded and he scratched
his head. “And if…well…”
“What?”
He bit his lip and asked, “If you
want, you can stay with me instead of worrying about a hotel or whatever.” She stared at him dumfounded and he quickly
added, “I mean, until you find your own place.”
“I don’t wanna
intrude.”
He reached over and tipped her
chin up with his knuckle, then pushed a piece of hair behind her ear, lingering
there for a moment. “Kristen, I wouldn’t
have offered if I didn’t want you to.”
He was soft,
he was gentle and incredibly sweet.
Memories invaded her mind and the voice that had been screaming at her
for the past six months yelled at her again for leaving him the way she
did. “This isn’t supposed to happen,
Justin.”
“What do you mean?”
“I’m not…” She couldn’t figure out
what to say and start to ramble. “I’m completely set now. I thought I was going to be wandering around
aimlessly this next year. Now I have a
job, I have a place to stay, and I also have-” She gasped and covered her
mouth, not believing what was about to be said.
She was going to say that she had him.
But she didn’t. She was getting
way too far ahead of herself.
It was just so hard with him being
so…so him.
“What?” He asked with a crooked smile.
“Nothing.” She shook her head and brushed it off, hoping he wouldn’t pry. “It’s just all working out. I really didn’t expect it to. I saw myself homeless back in
“What were you gonna
say before?” He interrupted her.
“W- what…”
“You said...I have a job, a place
to stay, and… and you were about to say, that you had…” He paused and leaned across the console to
get closer to her. He bit his lip and
then winked at her. “…me.”
She stared at him as he licked his
lips and then crouched into the corner of her seat by the window, trying to pretend
she was repulsed by him. She didn’t know
why she was doing it, she wasn’t repulsed at all. She just didn’t know what to do and was
trying to contain herself from attacking him.
“Was not!
Oh you are such a fucking cockhead!”
“Well what were you gonna say?” He whispered.
“I…” She tried, but she just couldn’t. She couldn’t let herself give in, not after
all he had done. It was too soon and she
needed to warm up to him a little more.
She just stared ad him and he
shook his head. “You totally want me,” he
said and plopped back in his seat laughing.
She scoffed and didn’t realize how
incredibly air headed she sounded when she said, “Whatever Justin. I’m completely over you….” Suddenly he was tickling her sides and she
wiggled in the seat and slapped at his arms and hands. “STOP IT!”
He laughed in glee and kept on tickling
her. “No you’re not. You want me.
That’s why you kept pushing your boobs together tonight to make me
notice. It’s why you wore those tight
ass pants.”
Finally, she smacked him hard
enough in the shoulder that he mocked pain and plopped back into his seat. She growled and pulled at her hair. She couldn’t believe he’d act so fucking
childish with her. “UGH! I hate
you. I’m gonna
cry rape.”
“So dramatic.” He chuckled.
She stared at him as he sat there
pleased with himself as cat with string.
She started to smile, looking at him.
The last time she saw him he was so lost, alone, desperate for her to
just say hello to him. He was so needy
of her and now that they had had their date a confidence was back in his eyes
that he had lost ever since her grandmother died.
She took in a shaky breath at the
memory. He had been there for her. They had been in a horrible fight and he had
just dropped it to be with her. He had almost
dropped the tour and then her stupid mind got in the way; she had gotten drunk
and said something she never had. And
then, then it happened, unexpected, unplanned, but nothing she could really
hold against him. Was she mad, yes? But strangely enough, somehow it made her feel
loved that he would be that messed up by her leaving him that he would make
some colossal mistake.
She realized she had never thanked
him for being there. “Justin…”
“What…” He turned to her and in his eyes she saw
herself shining back. Forget getting
warmed up to him, she had always been warmed to him, even
that day she broke his weights. There
had always been something about him, the genuine smile, the mischievous twinkle
in his eyes, and his quiet strength. In
that moment she couldn’t remember a time when she didn’t love him.
It went fast, too fast, and when
he pulled away, cleared his throat and said, “well…”
in a surprised tone, it registered what she had just been doing. She was leaning over the damned console,
hating bucket seats in that moment. Her
arms were around his shoulders and her lips were against his. He tasted like the Altoid
he had popped after dinner. His head was
resting against the head rest and he looked drunk, shocked, but then a smile
started to creep into the corner of his lips.
She started to smile too and said,
“Ok…I’ve missed that.”
“Me too.” He was beaming and so was she.
“Your turn.” She nudged him and resituated her hip that was resting on
the armrest.
“What?”
She breathed in his cologne and
his breath and everything that there was about him. She could hear her heartbeat in her ears and
realized them how excited she was to be that close to him. It still hadn’t really kicked in that she had
kissed him. Even when she said the
words, “I kissed you, you kiss me.”
“Ooo, I
like this game.” She felt his hand curve
around the side of her head and pull her lips to his. His mouth opened and soon she was taking in
huge breaths through her nose as he pulled her completely into his lap. He held her tightly and kissed her like there
was no tomorrow. He moaned and she
pulled away to look at him for a moment. He breathed out deeply and said, “shit Kristen…” Before
she knew it they were kissing again.
It was like time had rewound and
oddly enough sped up again. It was like
they were together again, but at the same time it was different. She couldn’t imagine a time when they had
kissed like that. Before one of them had
always been a little shy, or stand offish for one reason or another. Sure, they’d kiss and make out, but she never
completely felt comfortable with her herself to go all out with him and he
seemed to always be holding back not to scare her.
Now, there was nothing to hold
back.
His hands on the
skin of her lower back was the part that tipped it over. She couldn’t handle anymore or they might
never get out of the car. She knew she needed
to go back and knew she had overstepped the boundary she had made for herself,
which was one, small goodnight kiss.
“I should probably go.” She breathed against his lips.
He pulled her against him even
tighter and embedded his face into her neck.
“Don’t. I don’t want you to. I don’t wanna loose
you, not again.”
“I didn’t say we were together yet.” She giggled against him. He was getting ahead of himself as well and
it made her feel good that she wasn’t the only one.
“I...I know I just…God,
Kristen. Do you know what you’ve done to
me tonight?”
“Given you a boner?” She laughed and he just shook his head at
her, not smiling at all.
“Ok, what has happened?” She just looked back at him confused, hoping
he wasn’t upset with her. “You’re like
this little womanly vixen. I mean you
were sexy and cute before but now you’re so…confident.”
He was smiling at the end of his
sentence and she worked on putting herself back in her own seat, knowing if she
stayed halfway in his lap any longer she’d never move. “I’ve
grown up a little bit. “
“I see that.”
“It’s your fault, too. I mean, being on the road has helped but,
being really alone, with no Justin to fall back on. Well, it’s made me have to do a lot of
thinking and growing.”
His smile fell. “Oh…”
She pulled his head up with her
hand to make him look at her. “But that’s
not bad. I’ve thought and grown and I’ve
realized you are one of the most important people in my life. My mom died when I was young, my dad left me
and now, now you’re all I have left. I
cant just, say goodbye and forget it.
Yeah, you fucked up, but, time’s helped heal.”
“I hate that I hurt you.” His voice was hoarse and his eyes started to
water.
She didn’t want to see him cry,
cause she knew if she did, she’d start crying as well and she didn’t want to
break down to him again. She had shed
many tears over their situation and was tired of it and ready to move on. “I know.
But Justin, I’m giving you a second chance. I’m giving whatever the hell this is another
chance. I mean, wouldn’t you do the
same?”
“I…” He swallowed hard and nodded. “Yeah. I would.”
“Then let’s stop worrying about what
happened and start worrying about what’s going on now.”
His eyes narrowed and he cracked a
smile. “Wait a minute.”
“What?”
“Really, who are you?” He laughed.
“Shut up.” She crossed her arms over her chest, knowing
he was making fun of her and not liking one minute of it.
“I’m serious.” He started to laugh even louder and when he poked
her it was the last straw. “This is not the feisty Kristen I use to hang out
with. This is a softy.”
“Shut up dickwad!”
She yelled at him. “Don’t make me come over there and rip your ugly fucking
face off.” His eyes widened in surprise
and she took a breath, ran a hand through her hair and then brightly smiled at
him. “Better?”
“Oh yeah.” He pushed himself out of the seat and leaned over to claim
her lips once more. He pulled away and
smiled at her and in that smile the promise of so many things that had gone
wrong was renewed and she was completely ecstatic about whatever it was the
next day would bring.