It was quiet. She didn’t really know what to say. What was she supposed to say to him as he
drove her to his house? It was quiet,
but not awkward. In fact, she felt
perfectly relaxed and at ease in the passenger seat of his car, listening to him
hum and lightly sing along to Coldplay. Something
about being with him felt perfectly right, even more right than when she was
with William. She couldn’t explain it,
didn’t really know if she wanted to, and she was ready to try and find out
where this would lead. Well, she knew
where it would lead. They were driving
from
He had said no pressure to stay
and no pressure to do anything she didn’t want to do. But she wanted to stay, and she wanted to be
with him. Whether that was a good thing,
or a bad thing, she didn’t know. Sure,
they were rushing things and sure it was going way too fast for either of them
to comprehend what was really happening.
But she didn’t care.
She was happy with him, he made
her feel like she mattered, like she was special, something she hadn’t felt in
years.
She looked over at him, studied
him: the pout in his lips, slant of his nose, his smooth cheeks, defined
eyebrows, blue eyes watching the road as he drove them off the freeway and into
Their day had been insane. She had woken up a little scared of what was
happening that day. Ok, a lot
scared. As the day progressed, drama
seemed to enshroud her. She had never
had a day with more feelings attacking her-- sadness, loneliness,
embarrassment, anger, frustration of all kinds, disappointment, shame,
happiness, hope, love, and now complete contentment. It had been an emotional day, but a good day
with a good outcome and it wasn’t even over yet.
“Stop staring at me.”
She gasped and blushed and was met
with his smile as he stopped at a stop light and looked over at her. She was caught off guard and realized how
long she had been staring and how silly she must have looked.
“Sorry.”
He changed hands on the steering
wheel and moved one up to his face, wiping around his mouth. “Do I have something on my face?”
“No…just, looking. Sorry.”
She was embarrassed, but not quite ashamed. He was a beautiful thing and she didn’t feel
bad for looking at him, just a little stupid for getting caught.
“It’s ok.” He reached over and
grabbed her hand. “I actually like when
you look at me. Normally I hate that shit. I hate it when people gawk at me and point
and are like ‘is that Justin Timberlake?’
Half the time I want to just look back and yell ‘no, it’s not, leave me
alone.’ But when you look at me, I
just…I wanna look back.”
“You think I’m attractive, Justin?”
He laughed and pulled his hand
away. “Are you crazy girl? Of course I
do, I find you more than attractive.” He paused. “What about me?”
“I don’t think you need anyone
telling you how good looking you are Justin.”
She sat there as he smirked at her
in a completely cocky manner that she couldn’t help but adore. She didn’t know what it was about him and his
bit of arrogance, but it was so sexy.
Arrogant guys always annoyed her, but his slight cockiness was just the
rim but a deeper man with true humility.
Plus, he had every right to be cocky.
He was every girl’s fantasy. It was amazing to her that years ago while
her friends were dreaming of their perfect man and their perfect wedding and
perfect marriage she was dreaming of being on stage or in front of a camera,
becoming a new person and making people laugh, or smile or cry or angry. And her dream had come true.
She was there, she was in the
glitz and glam of
It was strange. She really knew nothing about Justin, besides
his famous life and the bit she had found out in that day. She only knew a few things about his past
relationships and knew nothing about what he did when he wasn’t on set. She didn’t know where he lived, or who he
hung out with, or what he did for fun.
All she knew was that he was kind and sweet and something in her made
her take this chance with him. It was
like a switch was flipped and suddenly she was ok to go for it, ok to plunge
straight into this with him. But it
wasn’t so black and white.
Parts of her were still scared and
parts of her were still unsure. That day
had been a roller coaster and it was only until after she couldn’t hide it from
herself and couldn’t deny what he was doing to her, that she gave into him,
into herself, into the life she had been forsaking for so long. She was terrified about what the future might
bring, terrified that they might get to his house, throw open the door, make
love on his couch, go to sleep and she would wake up the next morning, late for
set, with Richard and the rest of the crew ready to fire her and Justin, Justin
would realize that she was too much to handle.
Her nerves were starting to fray
now, and she knew if she didn’t do something fast, she’d be back in tears on
the phone with Brenda, telling her that she was flying back home.
And now she couldn’t help but
think, what if they did go with it and went home and had sex and she woke up
and he was smiling at her and they went on set and her life was perfect, but a
month later she was left alone again cause of whatever reason, and they still
had to work together, and all the crew found out, Richard found out, and her
life was ruined.
She was working herself into a
mess and needed to stop this. But she
didn’t know how.
“So…um…” A deep breath tried to
give her confidence, but it didn’t work.
“What are we going to do for dinner?”
“I don’t care. It’s up to you.” It was quiet and she couldn’t get her
thoughts to stop. She closed her eyes
and rubbed her forehead. This couldn’t
be happening again. She had just found
herself confident and comfortable with him.
Why was she still so damn unsure?
“Suze?”
The worst part was he had noticed.
She looked at him and he was
looking at her, every now and then quickly glancing back at the road. She knew he was worried and at the same time
she needed to be sure that he was sure about this. If there was any one that could give her hope,
it was him. “Ok, I might be ruining something here, but aren’t you scared?
Aren’t you a little terrified of what’s going to happen if…if this doesn’t
work.”
She stared at him and watched her
hopes start to crumble as he did. He
tensed up and his face began to frown, his forehead wrinkled. “No, I mean…”
He sighed, didn’t look at her, and kept his eyes on the road ahead. “Maybe I am a little, but I don’t care
Susan. I feel right when I’m with
you. I feel good. I don’t feel like I have to worry about what
people might think or what I should do or what I shouldn’t do. I can just be myself with you. And I like you so much. You’re one of the most genuine people I’ve
met. That’s refreshing. I’m just going at this like I know how. Maybe we’re going fast. And maybe you shouldn’t be coming over.” He then looked over at her. “But I want you to, and I think you want to,
too. I’m tired of being overly cautious
in my life. I don’t wanna pressure
you. And I definitely don’t want my mask
of confidence in us making you nervous.
Cause I am confident in us Susan, and I see a future here. I really do.”
“Really?”
He stopped for a light and leaned
towards her, touching her face. “Yes, I’m as scared as you but I believe in us,
and tonight, if you don’t wanna stay that’s ok.
And if you don’t want to…kiss me or do anything, that’s ok. But…I’d really like for you to if you want
to. Not to sound like a pervert.”
“I…I wanna stay.”
He started to smile and she leaned
into him and kissed him. She didn’t know
why, but it felt right and it helped make her fears dissolve. She hated being this way, being so fickle and
fragile. She tried not to be, and if he
was willing to put up with her, then he must be worth it.
A horn blared them back into
reality and he broke from her quickly, speeding through the now green
light. He cleared his throat, “So
dinner, what ya got a hankerin’ for?”
She smiled, resituated herself a
little bit in the leather seat and asked, “What are the choices?”
“We can do take out. All I have at my house is frozen pizza.”
“I could go for some Digorno.”
“It’s
“That works.”
“You sure? I mean,” He paused and glanced at her
sheepishly. “I’m not the best cook.”
“Oh…” She teased, reaching over to
pinch his side, causing him to grab her hand in response. “So you are a spoiled little rich celebrity
who can’t cook for himself.”
“Am not,” He glared.
“So are.”
He faked mad and threw in a
scoff. “Well you’re gonna be soon. After this movie comes out, you’re gonna be
hot stuff.”
“You think?”
“Yeah,” He relaxed again and
winked at her. “Get ready girl.”
Being an actress, she always felt,
was in her blood. The fame and the money
weren’t what she was out for. Of course
she didn’t mind them, but she wasn’t an attention seeker and wasn’t
greedy. She had been around photo shoots
and sets before and heard rumors and stories, but she figured Justin was
probably the best expert on being famous there was, and she wanted to know the
details, just incase it happened to her.
“What’s it like?” She asked. “Ya know, to be famous and have everyone
know you.”
“Are you serious?”
“Come on, I know all the paparazzi
stuff and the crazy fans and all that, but what else?”
“Well, I don’t know.” He sighed and was quiet for a while. She didn’t know if he was going to answer and
didn’t see what the big deal was, but finally he said, “There are lots of
perks. Free shit galore. People will pay you or give you anything to
see you using their products. But it
gets old. All the ass kissing gets
really, really old. It’s hard finding
someone real out here. And it’s hard
cutting through the bull shit sometimes.
That’s why I like you. You’re
just a real girl, a real girl who really cares about acting and cares about
doing this. And I hope you don’t lose
that.”
“I don’t think I will.”
She watched him and he began to
smile, almost as if he was proud of her, confident of her, but happy with
himself. She didn’t know what that meant
and pulled her self back from analyzing it.
“Yeah, you won’t. I mean, girl, everyone loves you. I know you worry about Richard and the crew,
and yeah, he can be a dick sometimes.
But everyone on the set loves you and compliments you and loves being
around you. You make everyone at ease
and like I said, you’re just so genuine and…I don’t know. You’re great.”
“Thanks, Justin.”
“I’m serious girl, you’re…” He shook his head with a smile. “I don’t know.”
“Come on what? Feed my ego.” She laughed.
“You’re just special, Susan. A girl like you doesn’t come along often.”
“You’re so good at that.”
“At what?”
She met his smile and his look and
reached over and rubbed his shoulder.
She didn’t know why, she just had the urge to touch him. “Making me feel worth it.”
“You are worth it. Who in the hell told you you weren’t and let
me go kick their ass?”
She groaned when the image of her
ex came into her head. William was a
sore subject and she had a feeling he always would be. She was glad she was working on her way of
getting over him and his unknowing control over her. “Who do you think?”
Justin shook his head. “That guy
must have really fucked with your head.”
“I think so. I mean…” She laughed at herself and thought
about her and William. Most people her
age would be over their high school boyfriends, but being in
“You can do so much better than
that jerk off.”
She bit her lip and looked at
him. “I am doing so much better.”
“Oh really?”
She giggled and her belly
grumbled, making her laugh more. “I’m
going to be doing better once I get some food in me.”
“I’m starving too girl. You wore me out today.”
She smacked him playfully. “Hey!”
“I liked it.”
They soon turned off onto a side
street and a few turns later through
“Wow, gated and everything,” She
said. Suddenly this feeling came over
her. It wasn’t good, and it wasn’t
bad. It was just realization of who she
was with. The whole day she had
approached him as just Justin, just the guy she was doing a movie with. Sure she knew he was famous, but for some
reason, going into this gated community, looking at the houses as he pressed in
a code and the lever raised, this made her realize that he was Justin
Timberlake, a celebrity, richer beyond anything she had ever seen or been in
contact with.
And for some reason, he wanted to
be with her.
“Keeps the crazy fans and paparazzi
out, sometimes. Plus, it’s a quiet
neighborhood.”
“Looks expensive.”
He smirked. “Well it is.”
“So how much are you worth?”
“Ah ha!” He laughed and turned down at road that was a
steep incline. “That’s what you’re after.”
“You figured me out.” It seemed
the farther uphill they got the more crazy the houses got. She couldn’t help but be blown away. “Wow…”
“What?”
She wasn’t a materialistic person,
but coming from a modest home in
The soon got to a place she could
barely see above the tall stucco wall around it. But from the bit she saw she could see a
Spanish styled tan stucco house with a red tiled roof. They were in front of a wooden gate that
after Justin pressed in some numbers in a security keypad, slid to the left to
reveal his home.
It was beautiful and she loved it
immediately, before even stepping inside. “Wow, I love Spanish style.”
“Me too. It’s not gonna rain anymore is it?” He said as he pulled up in the drive way and
parked the car.
“I don’t think so.”
“Good, cause this is Trace’s car
and I don’t have my garage opener.” He
laughed, turned the engine off and removed his seatbelt. “The kid’s psycho about his cars.”
“Where is Trace?” She reached in the backseat and pulled out
her duffel bag, she smiled to herself.
Yeah, she’d definitely be staying the night.
He got out of the car and looked
back in as she was getting her stuff together. “Oh, when he went to get lunch
he went and got his girlfriend who just flew into town. They’re probably somewhere at his place, won’t
be back around until tomorrow. He lives
here half the time, with her another part of the time. He has his own place, but never stays there.”
“You guys are good friends?”
She got out, closed her door and
he did the same, waiting on his side of the car for her to walk around. “Best friends. The only real friend I’ve been able to keep
since I got all famous or whatever you wanna call it. You’ll see, you learn who your friends are
fast.”
“Are we friends, Justin?”
She stopped beside him and he
grabbed her arm, swinging her around to face him, and lean against his body,
which was leaning against his side of the car.
She had to drop her duffel bag, and didn’t mind it. His arms were around her and his eyes were
looking straight at her. It was perfect,
it was right and there was no other place she wanted to be.
“I think we’re more.” He whispered
before leaning down and kissing her. It
was slow, and soft and if she could she would have just stayed right there in
his drive way, kissing him until he wanted to stop. But he stopped too soon and pulled away,
leaving her anxious for more, and craving to get him inside.
“Come on…” He smiled, holding onto
her chin before kissing her quickly again and then rubbing his thumb across her
bottom lip. “Let’s go inside and eat.”
She bit her lip and he brought his
hand away, bent down to pick up her duffel bag in one hand and to hold her hand
with his other. She couldn’t stop
smiling. It was going to be a damn good
night.
And no matter what insecurities or
fears she still had in side of her, they didn’t match the power of her
excitement she had for seeing where he was going to take her, and how far their
relationship was going to go.