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MOMENTARY LAPSE OF REASON
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I draw in deep. The smoke engulfs me from within,purghing mind and body.My mind relaxes, bereft of all anxieties.I am
flying..yes, I am, gravity be damned.
With half open eye-lids, I watch the smoke rushing out from within me, its purging effect complete. It spirals upwards
in gay abandon,celebrating its existence if only for a moment,mocking the still air in the room before it fades into oblivion.
I draw in another puff,long and deep, a second puf..yet another...to me, and to everyone of US,this is
a ritual, almost a religion that never fails to liberate the mind from its shackles. The mind is
freed from bondage, the chains of rationale broken.
My mind soars against all percepts of space and time into another dimension,another world.
I savour every moment of this journey into virtual reality - every moment unfolds a new horizon before my closed eyes.I am finally at peace,my mind in a state of total euphoria.
I feel a disturbance within, a dim voice caling for attention somewhere in a deep reces in my mind.I try to shrug it off, to ignore it, but every efort proves futile.
The voice grows explosively, shattering the serenity that enveloped me. My mind strugles against a part of itself. The conflict lasts only for a brief moiment. But in that moment I am jolted back to the the ground, my rendezvous unfinished, and reason overwhelms me.
Why am I doing this to myself? What do I gain from this? A temporary state of detachment that lasts through the night and is replaced the next
morning by a throbbing headache. Why do I indulge in this? To shy away from all worries and anxieties that arises from this cut-throat competition around me, this mad rush to the finish line
that exemplifies Darwin's theory to the hilt. The voice hounds me, posing questions that are irritating, more so because I have no answers to them.
I am helpless against the relentles attack,the voice gratring on my nerves,seking a reason for my indulgence.
REASON? I have no reason. To me, and to all of US, this indulgence needs no justification, requires no reason. It is simply that we chose to do so, just like the others cvhose not to.
What propels me, us? I dont know. I have never given it a thought. Maybe it is a sense of machismo or a spirit of adventure, a spirit that drives us to explorea horizon which sems virgin every timne it is encountered.
But why? And at what cost? The voice continues its relentless attack. I realize that I can go no further, that I cannot reason with the nagging voice anymore...inded, I have no reason.
Why should I have one?
The moment passes...
My mind takes off, its destination unknown, its path uncharted. The anguish of the past moment and the struggle within me, recede into the recess of their origin. I plunge into the deep and divine realm of forgetfulness shielded from all doubts, all conflicts.
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