Fiji Warns Australia and New Zealand of Tough Sanctions

“We will not tolerate your pro democracy stance”
In a stern warning to the government of Australia and New Zealand, the interim Fiji government has warned of imposing trade and travel sanctions on foreign businesses and tourists respectively after calls were made by the foreign affairs office of the two countries to return Fiji to democracy.

In a press conference attended by local media journalists and accompanied by military censors, the spokesman for the interim government, Major Neumi Leweni stated that it was time for Fiji to teach overseas government a lesson.

“We have remained silent for far too long. Now we will impose trade sanctions on Australia and New Zealand and let’s see how they survive.  We will cripple their economy. As for the tourists, we will just deprive them of beautiful sandy beaches and relaxing atmosphere. They just failed to recognize that Fiji is the only country in the world for tourists from Australia and New Zealand. We will not tolerate their pro-democracy stance,” Major Leweni scorned.

However according to Professor Richard Swath who teaches at the University of Adelaide and is considered a leading authority on new syndromes, the warning by the interim government maybe a direct result of Cat Attitude Syndrome’ or CAS. “According to this syndrome, the patient feels that the world owes them a favor and everyone else is born to serve them no matter what their actions are,” Professor Swath emphatically stated.

Meanwhile to counter criticisms on falling foreign reserve, the interim government has announced that it will auction the abrogated 1997 Constitution on eBay and transfer the proceeds from the sale to the Reserve Bank of Fiji.

In other news, the Fiji Human Rights Commission director, Dr. Shaista Shameem stated that the mythical Bill of Rights does exist and an expedition team is being assembled to hunt for it.

SUBSCRIBE TODAY!

Its free!

Receive the Namuamua Journal delivered to
your inbox everyday.
Click the "Sign Me Up!" button below to subscribe.

__________
Sign Me Up!