Laisenia Qarase Wants To Travel To Suva

Just cant this anymore!

Deposed Prime Minister, Laisenia Qarase in a teleconference yesterday lambasted the military for preventing him from traveling to Suva

In an emotional plea, Mr. Qarase told news reporters that he can no longer lie to the nation about his plight.

”All this while I have been saying that I am enjoying this island lifestyle, but this is far from the truth. I can no longer put a brave face and deny how miserable this existence is for me. Just can't do it anymore!” an emotional Mr. Qarase explained.

Mr. Qarase further stated that he has been trying to come up with all sorts of reasons for the military to let him travel to Suva. “While I know that the reasons that I gave to the RFMF were not really valid ones but what else can I tell them, that I miss McDonalds, that I miss Village 6 and that I miss most of all the ride that I was having in my Land cruiser.”

“Now I will leave it to God and Tevita Fa to get me out of this place. And just for the record, I had asked the military to let me travel to Brussels for the EU meeting, I didn't really mean that although it would have been really nice but its ok, just let me travel to Suva,” Mr. Qarase further revealed.

According to a friend of Leba Qarase, the wife of the deposed Prime Minister, Mr. Qarase mutters in is sleep every night about Suva and goat curry.

”I really feel for the guy. He just used to come here during the Christmas holidays but now seeing him everyday makes us feel so bad about him. I think the army commander should let him go to Suva and let him do whatever he wants to and send him back,” Mrs. Qarase's friend explained.

Meanwhile, coup convict George Speight in a rare interview just laughed when informed of Mr. Qarase's plight.

”He was just telling me to enjoy the beaches and solitude. Well he should practice what he preached to me. Anyway I just want to reveal to this nation that God exists and he really does answer prayers,” an enlightened George Speight stated.

In other news, after researchers discovered that weight loss operations could lead to memory loss, the deposed Prime Minister, Laisenia Qarase has confirmed that he will have his weight loss operation before his treason trial.

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