News Archive

Downer is a Bully
“From high school days”

In a joint statement released by the four nations of the Melanesian Spearhead Group, the Foreign Affairs Minister of Australia, Alexander Downer has been labeled a bully.

The statement further read that it's a known fact that Mr. Downer has the bullying traits right from his high school days and what he is doing now is just an extension to his age-old habit.

In a separate press briefing after the statement was released, the foreign affairs minister of Papua New Guinea, Paul Tiensten said that he knows Alexander Downer from high schools days.

“Look at his size and look at my size, I mean this guy is a bad ass and he always took my lunch. And only person he was afraid of was a Chinese guy and an American guy. Well what I can say is that Alex still thinks we are in high school and he can go around bullying,” Mr. Teinsten quipped.

However, in a press release from the Australian Foreign Affairs Ministry, claims by Mr. Teinsten were refuted and the statement read that Mr. Alexander Downer had a huge appetite for island food and any child of his age and size would have done the same. The statement further called for passive resistance by all bullies against Mr. Teinsten

Meanwhile in a separate report published in the ‘Yeah Right!” magazine, Laisenia Qarase has said that he is still the Prime Minister of Fiji.

In other news, the Chairman of the Great Council of Chiefs was reported to have said that chiefs should stay out of politics while addressing the mirror.