News Archive

Qarase Reveals Identity of Shadowy Figures
“More release of tapes will follow”

In a specially arranged teleconference to the local and international media, deposed Prime Minister, Laisenia Qarase revealed details on the identity of the shadowy figures behind the 5 th December coup plotters.

The details were in the tape-recorded under a covert operation and carried narration by Mr. Qarase himself. In a scene from the recording, when the tape was played, the camera was focused on a dark figure behind the interim Prime Minister, Commodore Frank Bainimarama.

”Now you will notice a figure behind the military commander and ladies and gentleman that one is the shadowy figure behind him,” M. Qarase narrated.

However the largely overseas media reporters who had hoped for a scintillating revelation were dismayed with the evidence.

”What we saw was Mr. Bainimarama's shadow. You have a shadow, I have a shadow and everyone does and what sort of evidence is that,” a reporter from New Zealand based newspaper exclaimed.

Without realizing the quality of his evidence, Mr. Qarase played another tape, except this time it featured only the movement of a shadow. “This shadowy figure is the main guy behind the coup. This one follows the army commander everywhere,” Mr. Qarase further narrated.

The teleconference was concluded with Mr. Qarase announcing that he will soon release more tapes of the covert operation after which one of the media personnel asked Mr. Qarase on the identity of the operative.

”Well we have a free lancing covert operative named Peter Foster,” Mr. Qarase replied.

Meanwhile, Laisenia Qarase has announced that he will travel to Suva in the year 2020.

In other news, former Labour Minister, Kenneth Zinck was spotted at a local pub with duct tape on his mouth and a brand new duct tape roll in his pocket.