Vulcan Raven vs. Nakedman

Jim Dale: Hey there everybody, Jim Dale here with Chip Young. We are down to the final four in the Bar Room Brawl!

Chip Young: That’s right, We’d tell you who the final four are, but at this point of the rewrite Nakedman is too lazy to go to the Bar Room Brawl website to list the names in a futile attempt to sound smart. So you’re just going to have to take our word for it.

Dale: Uhh… yes, indeed. The bout that is just minutes away from now will feature CRF representative and Ultimate Champion, Vulcan Raven, taking on the virtually unknown nudist, Nakedman, who defeated JordanZombie to get here.

Chip: Man, I don’t know who to cheer for, both of these guys are 100% a-holes. This is going to be a tough one to call.

Dale: As many of you may know, we had some trouble getting interviews last round-

Chip: Well, not really. Only in Nakedman’s rewrite- but this is another Nakedman rewrite, so we figured we’d have the same problem again.

Dale: So we asked the brains behind the Bar Room Brawl what to do about it. Take it away Grimm…

Grimm: Yes Jim, I figured that since this is all at my expense I can do what I want, so I decided to place hidden cameras in each competitor’s trailer outside. That way we will have all the benefits of explaining the real-life scenarios of these slammers without the problems of interviewing.

Dale: But… but… hidden cameras?! Is that ethical?

Chip: “Ethical?’ Who cares Jim.

Grimm: Don’t knock it. I’ve already taken more time to explain how we are recording the events backstage then those other wrestling feds do.

Dale: Really? I thought that there always just happened to be a camera crew around by coincidence when Undertaker drives his motorcycle around in the back, or when Crash Holly walks into a theme restaurant and meets a fictional character.

Chip: No Jim, its all fake. Wrestling is scripted I tell you!!!!

Grimm: Err… yes. But this is slamming. That’s something completely different.

Dale: Now guys, before we cut away to see what is going on in the rooms of these competitors, should we discuss these two slammers to see how they will match up?

Chip: No… that’s a stupid idea. I say we start the voyeurism INSTANTLY!

Grimm: Lets amuse the poor play-by-play man, huh Chip? Jim, I think the biggest factor that will come to play is the attitudes of these two slammers. Either man can do it; it just depends on their current mood.

Dale: A keen observation Grimm. Do you think either of these two men may have a certain disadvantage?

Grimm: Its quite likely. By the looks of this rewrite so far, it seems to be within the realm of possibility that Nakedman has slipped a few glasses of Alcohol before beginning to write. If he is drunk then its possible he will start incoherently mashing the keyboard, and turn is a piece of garbage that highly resembles California’s First-Round rewrite.

Gr3 gtrvjyu8901g5rpjihju9-54u90bvfhjiopsd]sdfuopgf0hu]945ufgjkpgj]53rg[ I like butterflies.

Chip: WHOA! What was that line right above mine?! Was that the random type of mashing you were talking about, Grimm?

Grimm: It sure was… Nakedman has to watch out for that stuff- it will cost him points.

Dale: This is absurd, I know we are out of Cyberslam but can everyone just keep in character for a moment?

Chip: Hey Grimm, you also got to think- if Nakedman is drunk, maybe his post will be real funny. Drunk people are often funny.

Grimm: Yeah, haha. I once knew this guy, who when he got drunk he… uhhhh… err… nevermind.

Dale: How about we just cut to our two slammers to see what they are plotting, huh?

Chip: Yeah, a good idea. Which do we go to first?

Dale: I think the crew is going to send us over to the trailer of the ultimate champ, Vulcan Raven…

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