---------

 

In the meantime, Neoprene is looking around the dirt and woodchip covered grounds to see if there is an iron gauntlet just sitting around.

 

Neoprene: Nein! NEIN! NEIN! Vhere ist it? I must finden it!

 

He spots a little manmade pond, with a bridge over it. There is no reason for the structure at all but for decorative effect… but it still brings up an interesting possibility.

 

Neoprene: CRAPEN! Das gauntlet could be in zhe pond. Zhis ist nein gut!

 

Grabbing a nearby stick (renaissance festivals have sticks laying around), he sticks it into the water to gage the depth.

 

Neoprene: Jaaa. Das ist nein deepen. Zhe gauntlet could nicht be in zhere.

 

*FUZZ* Comen in! *FUZZ* Hallo? …

 

Neo goes into a pocket within his cloak and pulls out a valkie… I mean Walkie-Talkie.

 

Neoprene: I zhought I told ju to only call vhen it is immediate!

 

Anya: *FUZZ*… Ja. Das ist important. Zhe camera herrs have moven to focus in von area. Ich stehe das Nahrungsmittelgericht bereit.

 

Neoprene: Ju are standing by zhe food court?

 

Anya: *FUZZ* Ja. Zhis could be the area vhere the gauntlet did landen.

 

Neoprene: Vhat? Bin Laden?

 

Anya: *FUZZ* NEIN! Did landen!

 

Neoprene: Ah. Jaaa. Das ist gut. Do ju see it?

 

Anya: *FUZZ* Nein. But I vill continue to vatch.

 

Neoprene: I vill come to the food courten soon. Zhey must have moven the cameramen for a reason.

 

Anya: *FUZZ* Ja. I vill tell Katya und Monika to keep looking elsevhere. Auf Wiedersehen. *FUZZ*

 

Neo turns his walkie-talkie off and puts it back in the cloak. He the starts to slowly walk towards the food court. Along the way he keeps his eyes out for anything iron looking. Or anything glove looking. Or anything iron glove looking especially, I guess.

 

---------

 

Spooky Ghost: OooOooo …and in the ghost world… we have advanced beyond your primitive flesh land. We have advanced beyond rules and manners. Do you understand? Or is your brain incapable of-

 

Nakedman sits on a tree stump with his head resting on a hand, trying not to cry to himself.

 

Spooky Ghost: -Are you listening to me flesh man? I will now scare and amaze you with my apparition power.

 

Naked: Why can’t you just leave me alone?!

 

Spooky Ghost: It’s called a story arc, Nakedman. All the cool people are doing them these days. OoOooo… you must not be cool if you dislike them. Or dislike me. Because all I say and do is right.

 

Naked: YOU’RE NOT A GHOST! You’re not undead! I don’t believe it for a second!

 

Spooky Ghost: This is blasphemy against me. I am very offended. Please now step into a Porta Potty to receive your ghoulish punishment. No wait… that didn’t sound right. Umm. OooOoo!

 

Naked: I STABBED YOU WITH A SWORD AND YOU BLED!

 

Spooky Ghost: That was energy. Spirit Energy. Red Spirit Energy. With hemoglobin in it. OooOooo… don’t try to understand it… your brain will explode!

 

Naked: Hehehe… you’re time’s up little man. Now I’m going to tear that bed sheet right off of you.

 

Spooky Ghost: It is a Specter Wall! How many times must I tell you? OoOooooOoooo! HEY! HEY! GET OFF! STOP IT! Oo-OW!

 

Nakedman charges and starts grabbing at the sheets

 

Naked: I don’t need a fluorescent Neo Light to see the spunk stains on your stolen hotel room sheet. And God I hope that little red stain in the corner doesn’t have anything to do with menstruation cycles.

 

Spooky Ghost: I do not wish to talk about that. There is no story to tell. And it certainly does not involve any of those goth girls. Uh… errm… OooOooo!

 

Naked: There… I’ve almost got it. AND- HA!

 

Nakedman pulls the sheet off.

 

There is another sheet underneath.

 

Spooky Ghost: OooOOooo! Two lairs! How incredibly spooky! OoOOoo!

 

Naked: DAMNIT! Well. It’s time to call in the Calvary.

 

Nakedman calls a hill outside of Jerusalem.  

 

Naked: *rolls eyes* …I meant “It’s time to call in the cavalry.

 

Nakedman claps his hands twice.

 

Naked: Spooky Ghost, I knew you’d be trouble. Which is why I brought… the NAKEDLYTES!

 

Out of three corners jump three Mysterious Mystery persons.

 

Mysterious Mystery Person: Prepare to suffer, Casper!

 

Mysterious Mystery Person Dos: You’re going down like Clothed Chic after that Bon Jovi concert.

 

Clothed Chic: HEY!

 

Naked: Mysterious CC! You’re supposed to be Mysterious!

 

She pulls off her mask that she didn’t want to wear anyway.

 

Clothed Chic: Forget it Naked. We all might as well just reveal ourselves now.

 

Naked: Yeah. You’re right. Disguises off!

 

The two Mysterious People rip off their mysterious clothing to reveal…

 

 

Half-Naked Honey: That costume was sooo stuffy.

 

Robed Girl: Yeah. But now we are freed from the bondage of excess clothes! *giggle*… Now I’m starting to sound like you, bro.

 

Naked: You better not get nude. You’re my sisters. That’s gross. And why must you always wear that bathing suit, HNH? It’s Friggin February.

 

Half-Naked Honey: If I wore anything more, I’d hardly be Half-Naked. Would I?

 

Naked: Hrm. You have a point. But still, looking at my sisters all unclad? Ugh.

 

Clothed Chic: Mmm. What about me?

 

Naked: Icks-nay on the ncest-iay.

 

Clothed Chic: Oh yeah. Right. *wink*

 

Spooky Ghost: Oh look, an armada of slutty sisters with large racks. How original that you know have three female valets following you around. Where could you have possibly gotten the idea from?

 

Half-Naked Honey: Hey! I’m only his half sister!

 

Naked: We don’t have to take this, do we Nakedlytes?

 

The Girls: NO!

 

Naked: So are we going to kick some ghost tail or what?

 

Clothed Chic: Well, I was thinking more “what” myself, because I-

 

Robed Girl: HI-YA! I know martial arts, ghosty!

 

Spooky Ghost: Ah yes. And I know how to run away. Very, very fast. Oh, and by the way… you can’t see under this sheet here, but I’ve been flipping all of you the bird… the whole time!

 

Naked: Hrm. So you admit it’s a sheet, huh?

 

Spooky Ghost: Yes, it… uhh… I mean. No. Uhh… it’s just that… WHGT! JGTH! YES! I AM AWESOME!

 

He runs away.

 

Half-Naked Honey: Damn! He got away!

 

Naked: Well, we’ll find him again. But for now we’ve got to concentrate on finding that gauntlet and beating Neoprene. That’s the priority.

 

Clothed Chic: So which way do we go? Do we split up?

 

Naked: Yes… but lets split into two groups instead of all four of us separating. Half-Naked Honey and Robed Girl – you go check out things in that direction. Meanwhile, Clothed Chic and me will check things out in the direction of the men’s room stalls.

 

Robed Girl: Right! Lets go!

 

And they split up.

 

---------

 

Back at Broadcast Central…

 

Davros is leaning over and talking to a technician.

 

Davros: …so you’re sure that the fact that we’ve moved a bunch of the cameramen to the confirmed area of where the gauntlet hit isn’t going to raise anyone’s suspicions?

 

Technician: Naaaa. I mean, who would notice? It’s not like either Neoprene or Naked has a gang of three girls with them to watch out for stuff like that.

 

Davros: Yeah. I guess you’re right.

 

Technician: It’s just that… hey wait… should the Gothic Warriors really be doing that?

 

Virtue Knight and Count Justice, who have now consumed waaaay too much ale, are attempting to slay the tavern.

 

CJ: FIE! Doth thou laugh at me, wooden post? Ha! We shalt see who doth cackle whence I cut thee down!

 

VK: Nay Sir Justice! If thou do that then the whole tavern shalt collapse on us! Doth nay slay it. Instead, challenge it to a battle of wit!

 

CJ: AYE!

 

Davros: Man. I think Count Justice is about to lose a battle of wit to an upright support. This is… Whoa… damn! Are the cameras on us?! When did this happen? I must have pushed the wrong button! QUICK! Someone cut to Neoprene! God. I hope the cameras didn’t catch me masturbating.

 

NEXT

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