Naked: Now lets see. What was I doing? Ah yes… I was following this
cord right here. Now I’ll just keep on following it. OH CRAP! Which way did I
come from? I can’t remember!
He looks down the
halls both ways. He doesn’t remember any of it.
Naked: I was so busy following the wire with my eyes that I didn’t pay
attention to any of the scenery! Should I go this way… should I go that
way? What should I do?!
Nakedman falls to
his knees and thrusts his arms into the air.
Naked: Why?! WHY?!?!!
And then he notices
that his head is directly facing a sign.
<-EXIT-
Naked: Oh, okay. I guess I should have been paying attention to those
instead of the camera cables in the first place.
He puts down his
raised arms, picks up his sword and stands up, following the exit signs with
convenient arrows.
Davros watches from
one of the still-working monitors in the broadcast room…
Davros: Oh damnit, didn’t I tell you guys to remove the freaking Exit
signs from the castle?
Technician: I didn’t get that memo. I think Maverick’s lackeys were supposed
to do all that stuff.
Davros: Ugh…
CJ: FIE! Who be these jesters thou speak of? Doth they ruin thine
noble plans?
VK: We shalt slayeth them for thee!
Davros: Oh really? That’s sweet. Here, I’ve got the address book right here.
You can-
And as he talks with
the Gothic Warriors, he also turns his attention to one of the other monitors.
This one is following Kurt Slasher around.
Kurt Slasher: Hrm… I can’t tell. I think this may be some part of the top
floor. But definitely not the tower we started off in.
Since we last saw
him, Kurt Slasher took the stairs all the way up as high as they could go in
hopes of finding a passage to the first floor located at the top.
Kurt Slasher: Damn. I don’t think this is going to pay off. I’ve looked in
every room and I haven’t seen anything. And now I’m just kind of cold because
my shirt is off.
It is February.
Kurt Slasher: Well, I guess I’ll take a closer look through all of the rooms. I
just skimmed them. If I’m going to find something, it will probably be hidden.
He walks back to the
end of the hallway, knocking down all the pictures on the wall in case there is
a passage behind them. Nope. So he steps in the room at the end of the hall and
plans on working his way across until he finds something.
Kurt Slasher: Hrm. Is this a bathroom? I hope they at least have running water.
Wait a minute.
He opens up a
cabinet in the room. It is empty. But not just empty as in your usual sense,
there isn’t a wall behind it either.
Kurt Slasher: Looks like a laundry chute or something. I wonder how far down it
goes. Heck, I wonder if I could even fit.
Do castles really
have laundry chutes? This is one of life’s great unsolved mysteries!
Robert Stack: No. They don’t.
I suppose not then.
Kurt Slasher: Well, here I go then…
He squeezes himself
into the hole and then falls…
Kurt Slasher: WHOAAAAA!!!
Perhaps he’s getting
more than he bargained for.
*POOF*
Poof? What in the-?
Kurt Slasher: HA! I landed on a pile of laundry! Hahaha……… oh my, smelly
laundry.
He jumps up and
walks out of the room with linens. He then turns the corridor to see…
Kurt Slasher: Nakedman!
Naked: Other Guy!
Nakedman quickly
grabs his sword at points it at Kurt. He also grabs the blade that he got from
the armor room upstairs.
Kurt Slasher: You perverted loser.
Naked: Wha-? Oh *hehe*… sorry. I’ll put that down.
Kurt Slasher: That’s it! I don’t know why I didn’t just finish you off when I
had the chance. Just like everyone I face, you don’t even have a chance.
Naked: Mr. Pointy disagrees with you. The sword I mean. This time, at
least.
Kurt Slasher: Go ahead. Hide behind your weapon. What are you, some kind of
coward?
Naked: Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhm… yes.
He shrugs his
shoulders and shakes his head like that was pretty obvious in the first place.
Naked: So Kurty, I was thinking. Why don’t we find our way out
together? Then maybe they’ll be really generous and we can both advance. Then
maybe they’ll take the winner of that Ileya versus Chevalier match and just
send them on their way home.
Kurt Slasher: Not a chance I’m teaming up with you.
Naked: Aww… come on! If we are together then we don’t have to force
unrealistic situations in which we talk to ourselves out loud, which we would
never do in real life unless we were crazy street urchins!
Kurt Slasher: No way.
Naked: Lets Rock-Paper-Scissors for it!
Kurt Slasher: What are you talking about now?
Naked: Rock-Paper-Scissors. If I win, then we team up and try to get
out together, maybe pummel each other along the way. It will be a classic buddy
comedy scenario. Just like Prototype’s Evil vs. Evil tiebreaker match. I hate
Prototype, by the way.
Kurt Slasher: I don’t think I’m leaving association with a nude guy up to
chance. Especially if it is a guy I can beat up easily.
Naked: Hey look at this. You see this? It’s a sword. You don’t want
any of the sword, do you?
Kurt Slasher: Whatever. I’ll humor you. But I’ll beat you in this too.
Naked: Okay, on the count of three. One, two, three…
Simultaneously they
draw…
Kurt Slasher: Rock!
Naked: Paper! HAHA!
Kurt Slasher: What? No way paper could beat rock. Rock tears through paper.
Naked: Sorry. That’s not how it works. Paper wraps rock.
Kurt Slasher: Pfft.
Naked: If rock could beat both scissors and paper, then it would be
invincible! At the least it would tie every time. Paper beats rock, dude. Just
accept it.
Kurt looks down at
his hand. It is still formed to symbolize his choice of “rock.”
*PUNCH*
Naked: AGHH!!!!
Nakedman falls to
the floor, caressing his jaw.
Naked: Hey man! No fair! That was a sucker punch!
Kurt Slasher: Be lucky that this is a race and I don’t have time to stick
around and do more. If you’re smart, you’ll just stay right where you are until
your flight back to the HCW comes.
Naked: Oh yeah?! Well you… uhh… you… damn. I got nothing.
Kurt Slasher walks
right over him, kicking him once as he goes down the hall.
Naked: What a jerk. *hehehe*… he doesn’t know about the exit signs
though! I’ve been covering them up with my numerous articles of clothing along
the way and he’ll never see them!
That essentially
means that Nakedman has not been covering them up.
Naked: But he’s still gaining ground on me.
I’ve got to get back up and win this thing, baby!
With alacrity he
flies to his feet and heads out down the hallway, knocking over expensive
marble busts on tables just for the hell of it.
Naked: I’m a jerk. *tee-hee*…
And then he sidesteps into an interesting room
that he sees.