Somewhere on the 4th floor.
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Nakedman: Heeeeeeere
we are… born to be kings, we're the princes of the universe! *BWOW*… doo doo
doo DOO!… I am immortal, I have inside me blood of kings, I have no rival, no
man can be my equal, take me to the future of…
Nakedman swings his sword around, singing the
Highlander song to himself. He’s singing it all wrong and out of order because
he can’t remember how it goes. And Nakedman can’t remember how it goes because
I can’t.
Naked: Ow. I
think I just cut myself.
He sucks his thumb.
Naked: Well, this
is an interesting room. Looks like some kind of lounge or something. They have
lounges in castles? Hrm. I guess.
He sits down on a quite comfortable couch.
Naked: I could go
to sleep right here. Ahhh…
He starts to close his eyes when-
Naked: -BUT THAT
WOULD BE RETARDED! Hehe… because I’m supposed to be winning an Escape from the
Castle Match! Now lets see… there’s a window. Let me try to get my bearings.
Looking out the window, Nakedman sees about
the same thing he saw when he was at the tower.
Naked: Well,
that’s the same side of the castle. I’d guess the back side. There is the moat.
I’d say I’m about one floor down from where I was before, but I think this is
still waaaay too high for me to defenestrate myself from.
Just then, leaning out the window Nakedman
notices something. Another guy about 3 windows down, leaning out and looking
too.
Kurt Slasher: HEY!
Naked: OH CRAP!
Kurt Slasher: I see you! And I’m coming right over to kick your-
Naked: HAHA! Just
you try! Look at this cool sword I have now! Look as I dangle it at you,
precariously out of the window, paying no attention to my grip on it
whatsoever! Hahahaha! WHOA-
Hahaha… just kidding.
Nakedman pulls himself and the sword back into
the room safely. I bet you thought he’d drop the sword, didn’t you? Admit it.
Naked: Yeah. I’ll
just sit here and wait for Mr. Slasher to come, then I’ll stab like him a
billion times! Tee-hee! But, BRRRR!!!!
This room sure is cold. Saaaaaay… is that a fireplace? Yeah. Let me crank some
heat in this lounge here. Boy is Kurty going to be surprised when he…
Captain Unclothed stops in mid-sentence as he
notices something odd about the fireplace.
Naked: There
doesn’t seem to be a back wall to it. You can just walk into it and it is…
it’s… it’s… ANOTHER SECRET PASSAGE! Hahahaha! I am the BEST!
He crawls into the fireplace. And yes, he does
make sure that there is actually no fire lit in it before doing this.
Crawling through the short secret passage,
Nakedman almost instantaneously arrives in another room. He looks through it
and sees green plants everywhere. In pots, on vines – everywhere!
Naked: Wow, it’s
like a greenhouse room inside of the castle. In fact, it’s a conservatory!
HAHAHAHA!
Nakedman climbs out and continues laughing.
Naked: Heheh… how
cool! A secret passage from the lounge to the conservatory! Hahaha… JUST LIKE
IN CLUE!
Just then, a candlestick leaning perilously on
a shelf over Nakedman’s head falls over and knocks him out cold.
*BONK*
Naked: *drool*
…Back in the lounge, Kurt Slasher runs in and takes a look inside the room.
Kurt Slasher: From our distance, it looks like this is the one he was in. Hrmm…
no. Nobody here.
He runs out of the lounge and into the next
room over. It’s a storage room with chinaware, crystal goblets and fancy dining
sets.
Kurt Slasher: Nope. Not here over.
He paces over to the next room and can’t find
him there either.
Kurt Slasher: Hmm. I should have figured that he’d turn tail and run off
somewhere. I might as well stop looking for him.
Back in the wide hallway, he strides slowly
and gives a peak into the rooms with open doors, but doesn’t look in with too
much detail. Finally he comes to a closed door. He tries to turn the knob, but
it is locked.
Kurt Slasher: You in there Nakedman? Hahaha… what a COWARD!
Slasher takes a step back and takes a breath.
With one kick he bashes the door open.
But he doesn’t find another room. Instead he
finds-
Kurt Slasher: Oh great. Another staircase? Well, I might as well try. The worst
that can happen is I have to double back.
This staircase has two directions. He can go
up or he can go down. He, of course, elects to go down.
His every step down the uneven and tall
circular staircase echoes up the masonry.
Kurt Slasher: Hello? –Lo –Lo –lo – lo – o – o –o – o?
Slasher reaches the
bottom and finds, to his relief, a door.
Kurt Slasher: Yes! I feel like I went down a long way. This could be the ground
level here.
He tries to turn the
knob to the door and has the same problem as before – it’s locked (Or at least
rusted shut). Again he uses the gentile “kicking it down” strategy to open it.
This time it takes two kicks, but the door gives.
Kurt Slasher: Damn its dark in here. *sniff*… and what is that smell?!
When Slasher said he
went a long way down – he was right. But this isn’t ground level. Kurt Slasher
is actually: underground!
*Soap Opera Man
music*
Broadcast Control Room… first floor.
--------
Davros: Okay guys… what the hell is going on here? Why haven’t I been
calling what's been going on during the recent events?
Technician: Well sir, you can still see the cameras follow Kurt Slasher and
Nakedman, but I’m afraid your two “colleagues” destroyed the audio output
capacities of this room. So your commentary has been going unheard ever since
they attacked that wire there.
CJ: FIE! This be no wire! This be a serpent! I hath slain it to
protect thee from its venom!
VK: Aye! This be a deadly black adder indeed. It didst hitteh me with
a venomous bite when I didst swing mine sword to slay it, but we knights be
made stern and I shalt nay perish!
Technician: No! That thing you felt was not a “venomous bite.” It was you
being electrocuted by that sword cutting into the wire. It serves you right.
Too bad your heart didn’t stop.
CJ: Fie? What be this “electrocuted” this knave speaketh of?
VK: I know not. For he speaketh in riddles like a wizard. WIZARD! Do
tell us how thou doth control the lightning to live in the snake!
CJ: We shalt slay thee if thou doth nay tell!
Technician: *sigh*… its magic guys. Magic.
VK: Ah.
CJ: ‘Tis a fine explanation for me.
They sheath their
swords and sit back down.
VK: So, didst thou wanteth us to speak of the knaves we see run
through the castle?
Davros: Never mind. It’s too late now.
CJ: HAHAHA! Huzzah! Be that the knave Nakedman in the box we see? How
be he so small?! What a foppish dandy he be!
VK: Hahaha… he doth loveth the pants lance!
And the two make fun
of Nakedman as the camera fades out and fades back at the moat.
Skeletor: Ahhh, Mer-Man. Welcome. I hope your journey
from the Sea of Rakash was well.
Mer-Man: *gargling noises* Uhh… yes Skeletor.
Skeletor: I have a task for you. Perhaps this will even
make up for your foolish actions when you tried to steal the Corodite Crystal
from me!
Mer-Man: *mumbling gargle*
Skeletor: WHAT WAS THAT?!
Mer-Man: *gargle* Nothing… Skeletor.
Skeletor: I didn’t think so. Now Mer-Man, traverse this
moat and get to the castle. Then, by any means, find a way to bring that bridge
down. Destroy the chains, find a way in to dismantle the mechanism… anything!
And if you fail…
His eyes glow red.
Mer-Man: *gargle* Yes Skeletor.
Mer-Man looks at the
water and sticks one of his webbed feet in.
Nothing happens.
So he puts his other
foot in and begins his descent into the moat, crossing the water. He mumbles to
himself again.
Mer-Man: *gargle* Mer-Man do this! Mer-Man do that! Soon
Skeletor will see that I-
*KERSPLASH*
Something drags
Mer-Man under and he disappears.
Tri-Klops: What… what… what happened?
Evil-Lyn: I can no longer sense him.
And then Mer-Man’s
tattered outfit and trident surface and float at the top of the water, with
visible chew marks all over.
Skeletor: Well, I never liked Mer-Man anyway.
Evil-Lyn: Neither did I.
Tri-Klops: Total jerk.
Trap Jaw: He smelled like rotten fish.
Skeletor: So… who wants to volunteer for a new plan?
In the conservatory…
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Naked: Ughh… what
in the world just happened?