Evil-Lyn: Yes mighty Skeletor, an excellent plan, as always.

 

She rolls her eyes.

 

Skeletor: Tri-Klops, I have designed this schematic of the perfect weapon… the Battle Ram Chariot! It shall be powered by my staff and we shall use it to crush and penetrate the wall!

 

Tri-Klops: Actually, mighty Skeletor, it looks like it’s just a castle with a moat around it. We could, you know, just swim across and break the chains that support the bridge so that it comes down. Or if the water has something bad in it, we could just get on one of the Terrordactyls and fly over. In fact, that would probably be better because-

 

Skeletor: SHUT UP! My plan is a genius one and although you are my most skilled and obedient warrior, I will chose to treat you like total crap and ignore everything you say.

 

Tri-Klops: Yes Skeletor. Of course. I’ll get working on the Chariot right away.

 

Skeletor: Good. I like those in my horde to be enthusiastic about their work. Because if they fail… MHAHAHAHAHA!

 

He points his battle staff towards the camera and fires a glow of energy, providing a flash of light for a nice cartoon segue back into the castle.

 

Kurt Slasher: Damn this place smells.

 

Kurt Slasher walks cautiously down a dreary staircase. Not because he fears something may attack him, but because he’s afraid this old brick and wood structure may fall apart any time.

 

Kurt Slasher: Oh, you have got to be kidding me! Who designed this stupid castle?

 

Upon reaching the bottom of the staircase, Slasher finds a dead end. It doesn’t lead to a door, but a wall.

 

Kurt Slasher: There has to be a trap or hidden door here somewhere. I’ll just start pushing in on bricks, I guess.

 

He does so, explaining out loud to himself what he will do in a soliloquy-like manner. This is because he is alone and has no one to talk to, yet I need to force a way to get the character to talk to move the story along.

 

Kurt Slasher: Damn, no door anywhere. I thought it would be like that game Maniac Mansion, where you could push the brick in the dungeon and a door would open. I guess not. I guess I should have figured that a staircase down would be far too obvious. It felt like I went down like 4 floors… I thought I’d beat this thing in like 5 minutes. But now…

 

He looks back up the circular staircase. He’ll have to head all the way back up. Then he’ll probably need a moment to catch is breath. And Maniac Mansion references rule.

 

Kurt Slasher: Well, back up I go…

 

And as he begins his ascent, the studios cut away again to check on the story of the other half of this event…

 

Naked: *whistle*

 

Nakedman is still looking around the hallways on the top floor of the castle tower.

 

Naked: That staircase, it was far too obvious. And I’m not just saying that because I can hear the echo of Kurt Slasher talking to himself from way down the stairs. Really.

 

He stops a second and rubs his chin (gasmask).

 

Nakedman’s Brain: Hrmm… I wonder why he would talk to himself with no one else around? That’s odd…. HEY WAIT! I was doing it a second ago too. How mysterious.

 

And then Nakedman catches a glimpse of a picture on the wall.

 

Naked: WOOO-WEEE! HOT MOMMA! What a fine looking, clothed piece of sex you are, lady!

 

Nakedman looks at an old portrait hanging on the castle wall of some 18^th century duchess or something. She’s wearing all sorts of really big clothes, like hoop skirts and crap.

 

Nakedman is really attracted to girls who wear clothes. You see, he’s a bit retarded in that way. But naked women don’t appeal to him at all. In fact, they disgust him.

 

Naked: I wonder if anyone would notice if I steal this picture. Naaa… this is such a big castle. Who would miss it? I’ll just stick it here in my pocket and-

 

*DOH*

 

He slaps his head. He forgot that he doesn’t have any pockets.

 

You see, because he’s naked.

 

Naked: Heeeeeey! Wait a second!

 

Looking behind the picture that he just unhinged in a pathetic attempt to feed his kleptomaniac urges…

 

Naked: It seems there is a secret passage in here!

 

Dunn dunn DUNNNN!!!!

 

Naked: Which would be completely surprising to me if earlier Davros didn’t say:

 

Davros: … And let me tell you, this castle is full of hidden corridors, old spooky rooms, dungeons and all sorts of crazy stuff!

 

Naked: Well, I better crawl my naked butt in there and see where it goes. Nothing much else happening up here. UNGH!!!!

 

He jumps up and slides into the hole in the wall.

 

And just as his feet disappear into the darkness, a little bit down the hallway…

 

Kurt Slasher: *gasp*… *gasp*… *whew*… Glad that’s over with.

 

He leans over, just for a second, and catches his breath. He’s back to the top again.

 

Kurt Slasher: So is that unclothed idiot still in the room we started in, laying on the floor?

 

He walks down the creaking hallway (see… things I mention are remembered and come back!) and looks into the room.

 

Kurt Slasher: Nope. Little idiot picked himself back up. Still… maybe I should take that curtain on the floor, just in case I have to confront him again.

 

He thinks for a second.

 

Kurt Slasher: Naaa. I’ll just punch him in his face and knock him out cold. Then I don’t have to worry about him getting his extremities all over the Human Torture Machine!

 

He says that a lot.

 

He heads back up the hallway and takes a look around. He notices the picture that has been taken off the wall, and the hole in the wall.

 

Kurt Slasher: So, he found a way out before I did, huh? Luck. It won’t happen again. Looks like I’ll just fit too.

 

He climbs in. It’s snug since he’s bigger than Nakedman. He’ll have to move through it at a slower speed than Nakedman too. And speak of the devil…

 

Naked: *OOOF*

 

The bare bottomed one falls out of a hole in a wall and into a formal-looking room, full of suits of armor.

 

Naked: Wow! It’s like Goth boy heaven in here! Well, I guess they would need to sell 56 SPF sunscreen to prevent skin from becoming anything other than pale white, and have black t-shirts and crappy music in here too.

 

Quickly, Durge and Spirit Raven run out of the room hiding their black t-shirts, sunscreen and crappy music in order to make a very, very inside CBF joke.

 

Naked: Hehehehe… boy have I got a great idea!

 

Nakedman rubs his chin and the camera wobbles into an awesome ~~dream sequence~~

 

Kurt Slasher falls out of the hole in the wall and on to his butt.

 

Kurt Slasher: Ouch! That friggin hurt! What the heck is this lame room? A bunch of suits of armor? Please.

 

And right then, one of the suits of armor starts to move. It swings a sword at Kurt Slasher and cuts him in half.

 

Kurt Slasher: *bleed*bleed*

 

The helmet to the suit is taken off, revealing Nakedman.

 

Naked: HAHA! See you in hell, Kurt Slasher!

 

Wavy Lines. Dream Sequence End.

 

Naked: No way… I could never do that! That’s just wrong…

 

…I’d have to wear armor then. And armor is, like, clothes. I’m out of here.

 

Nakedman walks through the open door of the room and leaves. Then he quickly runs back into the room and grabs the sword by the armor.

 

Naked: *YOINK*

 

He leaves again, out into the hallway. This floor looks a lot bigger. He chooses to go left and heads out walking for a while, until he then ducks into another room.

 

*THUD*

 

Kurt Slasher falls out of the wall, for real this time.

 

Kurt Slasher: Ouch. So where am I? Hrm… some weapons room.

 

He nervously eyes a suspicious looking suit of armor.

 

Kurt Slasher: Hrm… nice try, Nakedman. HUAAAA!!!

 

He kicks it, and it falls apart to bits.

 

Kurt Slasher: Maybe not then.

 

He wipes the smudge off of his shoe and then walks out of the room into the hall. He chooses to go right, unlike Nakedman.

 

Outside…

--------

 

Tri-Klops: The Battle Ram Chariot is complete, almighty Skeletor!

 

Skeletor: Excellent. Now, not even the Sorceress will be able to prevent me from entering the castle!

 

Beast Man: Duhh… do you mean that lesbian chick in the UCE?

 

Skeletor: NO YOU FOOL! SHUT UP! That is Priestess. I speak of the Sorceress that guards castle Grayskull!

 

Tri-Klops: But sir. This isn’t Grayskull. This is-

 

Skeletor: SILENCE! Now once the Ram Staff is inserted, my machine will be fully powered and ready to – HEY!

 

The overlord of evil sticks his battle staff in. Nothing happens.

 

Skeletor: You have failed Tri-Klops!

 

Tri-Klops: No Skeletor! Please! The machine has been made just as you designed! Perhaps your staff is just out of power!

 

Skeletor: Out of power? OUT OF POWER? Impossible! My staff runs on the unlimited evil magics… you will see just how powerless it is when I…

 

Evil-Lyn: The battery door has fallen off.

 

Skeletor: What?

 

Evil-Lyn: Your staff. Its battery door is right here on the ground.

 

Skeletor picks up his staff and looks at the bottom. Sure enough, the door and batteries are missing.

 

Evil-Lyn: I guess you lost your batteries, “mighty” Skeletor. Ah-hahaha.

 

Skeletor stares with his skull smile, but you can see his rage and anger when the black void of his eyes glows red.

Like this. See? And that water in the background is the moat!

 

Skeletor: Perhaps you think you would make a better leader, Evil-Lyn?

 

Evil-Lyn: Oh, of course not Skeletor. How could I compare with your brilliance?

 

Skeletor: CURSES! Beast Man, go to the Sea of Rakash and find that untrustworthy fish Mer-Man and bring him to me. We must use him to cross this meddlesome moat that stands between me and the unlimited power of the elders! AHAHAHA!

 

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