| Nags's Life Right Now |
| Septmebr 28, 2004 Hey, what's happening? And hello there. Yes two updates within a month. You can know pick your jaw up off the floor. I just looked back on all my past updates and I realize that the earlier ones were so much shorter because they were put so close together. I figured fuck it, I�ll just stop being lazy and update it every month or so and therefore they�ll be smaller. This insures that if I have a point to make it�s not being lost because it gets skipped over. This also insures that most of you will be able to read most of it in one sitting without your eyes bleeding. I can�t guarantee you I�ll have something good to write about every month but eh, we�ll see. Something always comes up in my world. And these last few weeks have been no different. When I was talking to I think Renata I said that all I have to do is get through September and things would be all good. I�ve basically done it but fuck, September was gunning for me. I can only name one really good day in September for me. They weren�t all bad but none of them were really that good. Renata (Part 2) I told you that this subject would be continued. And now it will be. I had said in the last update the after I wrote all that that things had changed. I thought they had. But I guess that was only one night. Well just as soon as I posted the site update (September 3rd) I had more to write about. I briefly touched on it in my last rant and now, it�s time for the full scoop. On September 3rd we were to go to lunch (which meant she was driving >shutters<) and then she was going to accompany me to San Jose to watch Nicole�s first home college game. Now we did do all those things. It just didn�t really go as planned. She did pick me up and we did go to lunch but then as I was getting out of the car and gave her a kiss on the cheek I just noticed this look on her face. It�s the look like that says �I have something to say that�s important but I haven�t said it.� Oh don�t worry, it got said. So she called me when she got off of work and we went down to San Jose to watch Nicole play her game. And of course Nicole kicked ass. She started and then scored the first goal (her first college goal and the first SJSU goal of the year) and then assisted another one. That�s my girl. A funny story from that game is during halftime Renata went to go the bathroom and while she was washing her hands guess who she ran into. If you guessed Nicole�s mom you�d be correct. And of course she recognized Renata since she�s one of the lunch ladies @ DHS. Here was the conversation as told to me by Renata. Nciole Mom (NM): �Oh, are you friends with Nicole?� Renata: �Kinda� NM: �Who are you with?� Renata: �Adam� NM: �Adam who?� Renata: �Adam Nagy� NM: �Oh�..well I know he�ll probably say �yeah right, she wants to kill me� but tell him I said hi.� Good times. Still being affected �cuz of my actions from over two years ago. Anywayz back to the story, as Renata & I were walking back to the car after the game she put her hands in her pockets and wouldn�t hold my hand. That was like, �damn, something�s hella wrong.� I mean she�s never like once not held my hand, even when I was pretty drunk and ran into her @ Warped Tour before we were anything. I did end up holding her hand on the drive back but when we got back to Dublin and I went to �my spot� for some good cuddle time, she was being really, hesitant. And again, she never had before. So I asked her if I pissed her off and she was like no. To make a long story (semi)short, she basically said that she didn�t want like all the physical stuff that we had been doing to be going on because she felt that it would only get me more attached. I see her reasoning but then again, I really couldn�t be more attached to someone without being in a relationship with them. She also said that she was thinking and that she�d be leaving in about a year for college maybe and that she wasn�t sure if it was you know, worth it. That of course goes back to my discussion I had with Josh back in the days of Ali when he asked if it would be worth it and I said that �I would do anything for a 5-month no sex relationship.� This would be like 11 months. But I wasn�t going to argue feelings as there�s just no point. The main thing that was said that night was me saying �So what you�re basically saying is the chances of us being together are slim and none and slim is packing his bags?� Of course she replied yes. Kind of a change from 12 days earlier when she stopped me from saying that we�ll probably never be together. So I didn�t exactly have the best of nights. I drove her home and we talked a little more and I haven�t seen or talked to her on the phone since (I had been making a point to call her every night to make sure she was doing alright). I�ve actually tried not even IMing her as maybe some time away would help me settle into the �friend zone.� The conversations we have had online have been friendly and I mean, there�s no reason for them not to be. And she is still going to hose two concerts with me in October. Of course if you asked me if I still would/want to be with her the truth would be yea. You just don�t drop those strong of feelings that quick. They may never die as I hold feelings for people unless they do something to really hurt me or piss me off. Of course I am kinda upset at her at the moment due to something she doesn�t know about�..till now of course. And just like when she stopped talking to me back in August I�m not so upset at the choice, just on how she handled the situation. As a hint to her, it has to deal with the activities of October 2nd. Well that�s all about Renata. I think. Who fucking knows really? Happy Aw my saving grace from a night of wallowing in self pity was the fact that on September 3rd, Happy came home from the Army. So, looking like shit (a.k.a. me 95% my life), I went and met up with him, Bonnie & Aaron. We then met up with Mark and had a night of drinking at Aaron�s house (actually in his backyard). I didn�t have the much but enough to get me tipsy and to make some good drunk calls. My victims were my sister, Happy�s ex-Jenny who I hadn�t talked to since Hallie & Jeremy�s wedding in February and of course Renata. I think that voicemail went something like �I�m trying to drink away the pain but it�s not working� or something to that effect. Yeah, I�m speechless as well. I also pushed down Happy who was piss drunk and he just kinda sat there. I ended up falling asleep on the grass (yet again, what�s with me being drunk and lawns) until dragged to another house to sleep in a bed. Happy was talking to me in the morning saying like �Do you remember pushing me down and calling Jenny?� I was like yeah, I wasn�t that drunk and I don�t forget things when I am. Also while he was home we made a trip out to Jackson (where the Indians took more of my money as a form of reparations) and a few trips to Rivulation to play a lot of video games. Mark had a hard time playing the last day due to the fact that he tore ligaments in his thumb two nights before�WHILE PLAYING TAG! So Happy�s trip out here was alright. We only had one argument which is pretty good. I guess sometimes my sense of humor and his lack of don�t mix too well. Eh, what can you do really? Just for clarification, I don�t REALLY hate you Happy, I just tell you I do a lot. Kristen, Becca & the fallout from the last update Yeah again this all started on that damn September 3rd. During my sober time between Renata and starting to drink I started texting Becca asking her if we could start over and all that cuz of all the drama that happened due to various things. She was like sure and I thought cool. I mean she did make me happy being with her those few times that we were together. To clarify it I�m talking about Becca from San Leandro, girl #5 from the last update. If you go back and read what I wrote about Girl #5 you would find that I used the word �dirty� about four or five times in a row followed by the word �ho� to describe her. That night I was talking to Mark about maybe deleting it, which is saying something considering not once in the 2 � years of my site have I ever taken anything down or deleted something from my website after it was posted due to content. I was kind of on the fence about it cuz it was more of me writing when not in the best of moods but then again I said that she probably wouldn�t see it as she doesn�t have AOL nor does she know my website. I kinda forgot about it in my tipsy haze that night and didn�t think twice about it the next day as I was kind of out of it and had to go to work. So while at work I of course got a text message from Becca saying she�s hella mad at me. Why you ask? What? You don�t ask? Well I did. It was because she had my AOL name and therefore had my webpage and therefore read the little thing I wrote about her. That would happen. I have the worst timing in the world. The night after saying �Let�s start over� she tells me she actually does have my AIM name and reads the ish I wrote about her. Of course she actually did the smart thing and used �My Reply� so you can read what she has to say under The Replies. Can�t tell you how shocked I was, not that she did it but that someone actually did. Besides Brad the response has been kinda underwhelming. Back to the subject. Now I admit fault with writing that due to one person�s account of her actions. Now of course she denies most of what was said but then again I would deny most of those things to so I really have no idea who to believe in this situation; her or Kristen. Aw yes Kristen. Drama there now. Girl #6 of last summer. Well I mean I was cool with her for a while and I�ve known her for a little over a year (even if we didn�t talk for 8 months) and we�ve had our off and on flings or whatever you call them. Well she would always talk to me about Becca, half I think to vent because she knows I�ll listen and half I think to persuade me to not like Becca at all. So of course when this all happened Becca asked me what I was told and I told her so then she got mad at Kristen for telling me all this stuff behind her back so then Kristen got mad at me for telling Becca what she told me. And while I was talking to Beccao n the phone that night she was saying "Why are you friends with Kristen cuz she treats you so bad?" She really doesn't as she just gets easily mad with me but I ignore it and I'm a smartass about it because I dont' really stress about it, she gets over it. Sometimes I think they both want me to hate the other one. But as of now I have no god damn idea what the hell is going on. Kristen is semi-upset at me still, Becca I can never tell and well fuck it. Finch Concert with�my mom?!?!?! Yeah you read that right, I went to a concert with my mom. How did this happen you might ask? Well I�m glad you did. I was supposed to go to the concert with my friend Brandie. I like Finch and I knew she did (as she has a Finch keychain and it is apart of her AIM name) so I asked her if she would want to go. She said yes. I was like killer, I got someone to go cuz I rally wanted to see them play. Of course I would find a way to screw that up. That same night I really screwed up. We went out to Berkeley to an 18+ bar and, without getting into too much detail she got in some trouble. Now I didn�t get her into trouble but I didn�t exactly say comforting words to her and generally just talked way to damn much. Ok I basically talked like a jackass without intending to. Looking back on it I don�t even know how I got a hug at the end of the night. I apologized to her on her away message the next day because I realized that maybe I had been an unintentional jackass but talking too damn much. I wasn�t exactly sure if she was mad at me till a few days later when she was IMd me sayin� she didn�t want to go to the Finch concert anymore (her excuse: �just cuz�) and then I asked if she was mad at me and of course she was. I was given no reasons why (not that I really needed any) and that was the last I�ve heard from her. If you read this Brandie, �I�m sorry.� Of course I had bought the non-refundable tickets the day before she said that. Well then I had to find someone to go with me to the Finch concert, and it was going to be for free since I wouldn�t charge them for doing me a favor. I had three people who were like �Yeah, I�d love to go.� Two couldn�t cuz of their parents and the other one couldn�t cuz her dad actually ended up passing away. So like a few days before the concert I went into scramble mode. I asked everyone if they wanted to go (well everyone who I knew that didn�t hate Finch). Everybody seemed busy. And I do mean everyone. I called people who I haven�t seen in months (like Ashton) just because I didn�t want to go alone. I think I got shot down by about 20-30 people. At some point you just wonder if maybe it�s not the band that�s turning them off�. So I was prepared to go alone as I didn�t want to lose the $35 I spent on the pair and I really wanted to see Finch. I was just about to leave my house when my mom (who had been joking all week that she�d go) said I�ll go. I said well you can if you want, I don�t care. So she actually did. My then 51-year old (now 52) mom accompanied me to the concert. Two ways to look at it. Good way: Hey a built in excuse for why I didn�t get any girls� number & I didn�t have to pay bridge or parking. Bad Way: I wasn�t able to get in the big crowd of people like usual nor did I have someone with me who actually knows/enjoys the music. So yea. Some people say that it�s pathetic, others were like it�s cool that your mom would do that. Personally I don�t know either way. In the end the concert was alright. I knew none of the opening bands, although the first 2 were pretty good. It took about 45 minutes to set up for Finch and by then it was almost midnight. Finch was good playing the songs that I knew but for some really odd reason, about 6 of the songs they played were off their album that�s not coming out till next year and no one knew them. I could understand if the album was like about to come out or if they were to play like a couple new songs but half their songs were new. Plus they didn�t� play �Letters to You� �Post Script� or �Stay With Me.� So that was disappointing. Overall it was an alright night. But it�s kinda how my month has been. Davis My one good day in September. Yea that�d be my drunken episode with my drunken friends in Davis. Eric and I rolled up there one night and we all started drinking around 10:30-11. Ok Eric, Todd, Darryl & Shaylene started drinking while Jon & I played Madden. After that Jon & I went into shot taking mode and it was on. I�m convinced we met more girls in the complex that night then they met all last year. That�s the magic of alcohol. Also Shaylene challenged Jon�s sexuality with the challenge that if he didn�t jump into the pool that he was gay. She said you too Nags. Jon stripped down to his boxers; I just took my shit out of my shorts and went in. I got Shaylene back though; I threw her ass in too. Luckily I had a change of clothes in my car. Well most articles of clothing. Let�s just say I was going Commando for a few hours till I got home. I did have some problems sleeping though as when I was asleep Jon kept slapping my legs to remind me of the time. Yeah thanks asshole. The beauty of it all was I had a meeting at work the next day�.at 8AM. Oh yea. So I woke up at about 6:20 and I had a little burp and I could still taste the good old Bacardi O. Bad sign I think. Well I drove home, got some hot chocolate and went to the meeting. Yeah I was out of it to say the least. But still a great day. How could alcohol and Jon not lead to a great day? Ok that sounded gay. Random Quotes/Thoughts/Stories Guess what? Mark tore ligaments in his thumb�..PLAYING TAG!!!! I�ll never stop laughing at that. Things I�m looking forward to: Ohio State football, Baseball playoffs, 3 concerts in 12 days, HALLIE! �I�m part Welsh and part Hungarian. That means I�m WelHung.� ~???? �I learned one thing from reading this magazine: 16 � way too young; 17 - I don�t know� ~Mark Maron �Ever been told that honesty is your best policy? Like when you were a kid your parents would say �Just tell us the truth and you won�t get in trouble.� Yeah, right. Hold on to that dream.� ~Bill Engvall (After being told he looked cool) "Thanks, you don't look so hot yourself." ~Yogi Berra "I've had a wonderful evening, but this wasn't it." ~Groucho Marx "You're not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on." ~Dean Martin "Woman are meant to be loved, not to be understood" ~Oscar Wilde "That's the trouble with being me. At this point, nobody gives a damn what my problem is. I could literally have a tumor on the side of my head and they'd be like, 'Yeah, big deal. I'd eat a tumor every morning for the kinda money you're pulling down." ~Jim Carrey �Actually, it only takes one drink to get me loaded. Trouble is, I can't remember if it's the thirteenth or fourteenth.� ~George Burns (On Dick Chaney) �He�s a heartbeat away from the presidency and he has a pacemaker� ~Pat Cooper "My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a-bitch." ~Jack Nicholson School Aw yes, that magical time again. Well school is alright as I�m only there like about 7 hours a week. There�s this cute girl I talk to in my math class but I don�t know too much about her so we�ll see. A couple cute girls in my English class but I really don�t talk to them and I probably won�t either. That class is funny though. Nothing really funny about web page. The Site & NEW POEMS! The only thing that�s still semi-new about the site is the �People Lyrics� thing. That�s where I�ll post lyrics that remind me of certain people. I�m also working on my music review site still (preview) and also on another subpage that should be up by the next update. I also finally updated the picture page. I also wrote 2 new poems. I like the first one; I think it�s pretty damn good in my humble but honest opinion. Here it is, entitle �I Miss� The second one is entitled �The Tell Off� and I think it�s decent. That about raps it up. I finally saw Hallie today! Oh yeah. Good times. Between that and the concerts (which I still have tickets for) October should be a much better month than September. Let�s hear it for October! Holy shit, I�m done and it only took 2 days. WTF?!?!?! Until Further Notice, Adam My Reply |