I sit in cold silence,
Wonderin' why this happens to me.
I can't figure out why
I'm unable to see
The root of my fears
and the root of my problems.
They come from inside,
and that's the only way to solve 'em;
to attack the core,
the heart of this evil,
makin' sure this drama
doesn't produce a sequel,
'cuz I've had quite enough
and I'd like to quit,
but that's the hard part;
gettin' through it.
Eventually I'll reach
a higher state of mind
and the absolute answer
is what I'll find.
Cause there's no other way
To tackle your fears,
than to suck it all in,
and tackle your tears,
because the sin---it will sear
your heart and soul, body and mind
But with God's help,
It'll be the last time
I have to hide
I have to cry
And that is why
I shall not die.
Written 6-20-02
Imagine a warm, gentle breeze
gently touching your face,
As you lay in the cool grass,
looking towards the sunset.
The wind moving the grass,
as if the grass was alive.
The grass moving all along your legs and arms,
gently stroking you skin.
The sounds of a quiet brook
Trickle into your thoughts
As your attention melts into the sunset.
This is paradise;
Living free and happy.
The peaceful equal to
The corrupted planet we call Earth.
Some say that I'm gifted,
Yet I really don't see,
What they see.
Are they really talkin' 'bout me?
Or a clone, a drone, who lives all alone,
Never accompanied, just sittin' at home.
No---it's me, the N8less One
of which they speak.
There are so many abilities
that I have yet to tweak
till I reach my peak,
looking down on what I've done,
do you realize, that I'm not #1?
I'm lookin' up to the Son, the only one,
who has done what I never have done,
His perfection dwarfs me by far,
and I don't understand,
the type of love He has,
but He's my shining star.
In a sky of average lights,
He makes the darkness bright,
He's the one who makes all wrongs right,
The One who can save your life,
whether you know it or not, you need him,
Because by yourself, your life can be rather grim.
So live your life to the fullest,
and remember one thing;
He saves your soul,
So why not sing?
Written 6-20-02
Cold and shivering, I lay,
in a dream which I have fabricated,
a fantasy world of my making, and undoing,
as all dreams end up;
in vain or as a nightmare,
A sickly impersonation
of a personal utopia.
I look around in this fantasy world,
and am taken aback
by the abstractness of everything---
the sky, which literally melts into
the horizon, which is a glimmer in
my eye, seen clearly in a mirror,
as being completely independant of
my body, which feels as if it were
afloat, just as the trees that actually
dot the landscape do.
The time continuum seems to stand still
in front of my face, which closely resembles
a painting of Pablo Picasso, who is seen
painting the sunset pitch black,
and the moon blood red.
Now, like a blanket, night falls,
and I am submerged in a sea of solitude,
with only my shadow by my side.
Soon after, fear and anxiety come to visit,
and to pay their respects
to an abstract mind gone wrong.
Written 6-21-02