Nurse Nightingale

1863. The American Civil war rages on. On a battlefield in Virginia nurse Nightingale walks into the tent accompanied by her two nurses and a private.

Colonel: (stands up) Miss Nightingale what an honor! Welcome to our camp. Please have a seat.

F. Nightengale: Colonel, although its been a long journey here I can not rest, nor shall my nurses rest until we have met with your good surgeon and attended to your brave, suffering soldiers.

Colonel: Miss Nightingale, all I've heard about you is true then. You are a tireless woman of courage and self-sacrifice. That you have traveled all this way from England to help with our injured...well, you can not fully know how much this means to us.

F.Nightengale: I go where I am called and help those in need. That is my creed as a nurse.

Colonel: What you accomplished for the wounded in the Crimean War was truly a compassionate…

F.Nightengale: Colonel, I’m afraid you have me confused with my cousin Florence Nightingale.

Colonel: But this letter said that F. Nightingale would be arriving. I assumed…

F.Nightingale: Well I am Freiburg Nightingale. Unlike my uncle who named his children after his favorite cities in Italy, my father preferred Germany. My sister Stuttgart and I are also nurses. We are just as anxious and capable as cousin Florence. As children when we played together I was the one who had all the clever nursing ideas. I remember the time I cared for Florence’s beloved owl Athena while she was on holiday. Poor thing’s neck was all twisty and so I splinted it for two months. I cured it! As a nurse I’ve traveled extensively to India, Russia, South Africa, and now America, but do I get any of the glory? No, I’m still confused with…

Colonel: Well no matter! Of course we are still very pleased to have you here. We have had probably 30 men injured today alone and only one surgeon who is attending to them all. He's exhausted and I'm sure will welcome the help of such dedicated nurses. I'll have Private Higgins show you to your quarters where you can leave your bags, and then on to the wounded.

F.Nightingale: Thank you Colonel. We are extremely anxious to begin helping.

Two Nurses: (in unison) Yes! Please let us get right to nursing those poor, poor fellows!

A short time later Freiburg and her two nurses enter the tent for the wounded.

F.Nightengale: Surgeon Miller, I am Freiburg Nightingale.  I'm sure the Colonel had spoken with you about my arrival  And these are my two trained nurses, Helen and Penelope. We are at your service, sir.

Two Nurses: (giggle at each other)

Miller: Freiburg? I didn’t realize... hmm… well he told me that you would be arriving from a stay with a neighboring troop- The 6th Division Calvary Corps of Richmond.

F.Nightingale: Yes sir. They have been unfortunate in their battles I'm afraid. I can't tell you how many wounded we've attended to. One night alone we helped with at least a dozen amputations.

Helen: Oh what a night! There were two double and a quadruple amputee! Miss Nightingale was magnificent!

Miller: What are they on about?!  You aren't even a surgeon Miss Nightingale.

F.Nightengale: It was dark sir. I'm sure the nurses couldn't see that I was only assisting our good surgeon.

Miller: (pausing) I see...

(patients moaning)

Miller: I'm afraid I have no time for chit chat Miss Nightingale. Roll up your sleeves. I've not attended to any of these men over here, and they all need bandaging.

F.Nightingale: Of course sir! Helen, you assist the surgeon and Penelope you help me with this poor wretched one.

Penelope: (looking at the soldier) OH MY! His leg is bleeding gushes! Whatever should we do???!

Helen: I’ll get the white hot iron poker and apply it to his bleeding!

F.Nightengale: No, I fear we may have to amputate this one!

Soldier: No NO! I've only just fallen while running. Its just skinned a bit. I thought there was a break... a nice clean break. But now I think not! Its feeling much better! The pleasant night air is making me feel up to a walk actually! I think I'll take a stroll...

F.Nightingale: He's talking in a feverish stupor.  His leg is obviously badly mangled, probably from taking several shots and maybe even bayonet stabbings to the leg.

Miller: I'll see to him next then when I finish with this one.

Soldier: My leg is fine! Really!

Helen: Oh let me help this time! Please Please?!! I do enjoy listening to the ramblings of men in feverish stupors!

Penelope: Miss Nightingale assigned me to this one!

F.Nightingale: Nurses! You'll each have plenty of turns with delirious patients. Let's let Penelope handle this one while we wait for the amputation.

Soldier: Noooooo!

Penelope: (makes a smug grin at Helen) Here drink this you poor brave soldier. (forces him to drink from a bottle of bourbon.)

F.Nightingale: (moving onto the next patient) Oh dear, this one is near death!

Soldier: No, no! I'm not dead! I'm not even hearing angel voices or seeing long lost relatives or anything! My horse was shot and it fell over pinning me under it. I think I possibly broke both of my arms and a leg or two. Then again it was a small horse, donkey-sized even, and I'm feeling chipper now! (manages to stand up on one leg and falls.)

Two nurses: A quadruple amputee!

Soldier: What??!! No! I need them set is all!

F.Nightingale: We must immobilize him! Penelope help me bind him tightly to a table otherwise he'll likely do more harm to himself!

Soldier: Surgeon!!!!!

Helen: Oh I love the sounds of a brave soldier!

Miller: What IS going on over here??

The nurses fall silent.

Miller: Well??

F.Nightingale: You must forgive them Sir. They have such a willing spirit to help these wounded heroes, true nurses at heart. And with the hour being so late we are having trouble seeing with the one lamp...

Miller: Why don't you all just assist me.

F.Nightingale: Of course sir.

Miller: Now,  (looks at a soldier) this looks like a gunshot wound to the shoulder. I'll remove the slug.

Two nurses: Surgery! Surgery!

Miller: (attempts to work with the scalpel but is being pushed by the nurses crowding in to see). Tarnation women! Move back! Look, you grab his feet and you take his arms and hold him down.

Two nurses: oooooooooh!!

F.Nightingale: Ready Sir!

Miller: Yes... (removes the bullet and applies sutures.)

The soldier screams.

F. Nightingale: Oh excellent work Surgeon! What skilled nimble fingers!

Miller: Now the key is us working together as a unit. Clean and bandage him up!

Penelope:  Let me! Let me!

Helen:  No, I should get to clean him! Its my turn! (the nurses push and shove each other away.)

F.Nightengale: I think there’s enough on him for the both of you to mop up.  Meanwhile I’ll just see which patients may possibly need an amputation and would like a morphine rubdown or a sniff of ether.

Miller: Oh for pete’s sake...

Several hours later.

Miller:  I think that's everyone.

F.Nightingale: You need to sleep now sir.  My nurses and I will watch these men for the rest of the night.

Miller: I am exhausted. Please call me if I am needed. (He heads off.)

F.Nightingale: Poor, dear Surgeon. What great admiration I have for his abilities. But I guess he was just so exhausted that he failed to notice a few things. Not to worry though, we shall handle these things on our own. Come nurses, these men need further attention.

Two nurses: We must help these courageous soldiers!

Morning. The surgeon enters the tent astonished to see all of the men bandaged head to toe and hanging in traction moaning.

Miller: What in the name of Sam Hill has gone on in here last night??

F.Nightingale: We’ve been caring for the patients sir. They’ve had a rough night I’m afraid.

Miller:  (walks over to one man especially distraught but unable to speak clearly with the bandages)  What is it? Who is this?? (unwraps the head) Colonel!!!

Colonel: They took me from my bed last night…

F.Nightingale: He was feverish and having fits. We felt it was best to restrain him. Let’s hope its not cholera!

Colonel: Get me out of here Surgeon Miller! And I’ll have a word with you later in my quarters.

Later that day, privately in his tent.

Colonel: As you know, we have only the deepest regard for Miss Nightingale and her efforts to help with the wounded.

Miller: She’s a log short of a load. I’m actually afraid of her nurses.

Colonel: But I feel at this time there are other units who are in much more desperate need of assistance than us. For that reason I have dispatched some men to scout the neighboring camps to see if any are in need of these willing noble nurses. I expect them back anytime.

Miller: Is that ethical?

Scouts returning.

Soldier: We’ve been to several camps. They all spoke highly of her, but informed us that they weren’t currently in need of her services and were certain they never would be, ever. Only one hasn’t recently received Miss Nightingale. When we spoke to them about sending her they were adamant that she not come as their wounded were happy to suffer as so many other camps were in greater need.

Colonel: (swears under his breath)

Soldier: Sir?

Colonel: Nothing, nothing.  Are sure you didn’t miss a camp?

Miller: Send her to a Confederate camp.

Colonel: Surgeon Miller!

Miller: Let’s speed this war along.

Soldier: (rushing in the tent) Colonel, sir, Miss Nightingale gave her special slippery elm tea with opium to a group of the well soldiers.  Then she had Higgins leading them in singing “When Johnny comes marching home” and other banjo tunes to all the patients in the small pox tent. All was well until Carter stumbled against a table knocking over the bottle of ether, forcing us to evacuate all the patients. At this point we have some in the yellow fever tent, some in the mumps and measles tent, and some in the tent for patients with minie balls in their lower torsos. Its chaos sir, and in the confusion the nurses have put tourniquets on everyone. My left arm is sure to recover though. (lifts it slightly and grimaces) ack!

Colonel: (turning to the scouts) I want you to go farther on your swiftest horses. Make no mention of Miss Nightingale and her nurses. Simply assess their situation for wounded.

Scout: Yes sir. We’ll leave now!

Colonel:  (calling after the scouts) Absolutely NO mention of her! Those are strict orders!!

Two days later.

Colonel: Alright, its clear no other camp is in need of her services.  We’ve exhausted the lot of them. At this point I think we have no other option but to proceed with my plan. I just don’t know if we can pull it off.

Sergeant: The men are all willing to give it a try sir, especially after last night’s episode with the capital saw.

Colonel: I’m going to see that those men get special medals of honor.  Meanwhile let’s begin.

Shortly after Midnight. Soldiers are nailing shut row after row of coffins.

F.Nightingale: (running out of a tent) Oh my! What has happened?

Sergeant: I’m afraid all the soldiers in the infectious disease tents have died ma’am. It was horrible.  Surgeon Miller went in to attend to them and, well… death swept quickly.

F.Nightingale: All of them?? But some were doing well. I only just checked on them a few hours earlier.

Sergeant: Every last one. They’ll be transported this way to the embalmer in Richmond.

F.Nightingale: I’m stunned. I only wish I could have…

(coughing from one casket)

F.Nightingale: A cough! That man must be alive! Quick Sergeant open it!

Higgins: No, that was me! (coughs) See. Got some dandelion dust in my throat.

F.Nightingale: No, I’m sure I heard it come from inside that coffin over there! (points)

Higgins: Well I was standing there just seconds ago. I coughed then moved over here.

F.Nightingale: But I didn’t see you move.

Higgins: I did.

Sergeant: OK men, lets move out these caskets. It’s a long ride to Richmond.

Freiburg Nightingale sighs and heads back into the tent with the wounded.

A few hours later, just before dawn shots ring out.

Sergeant: We’re being attacked! Rebel soldiers to the east!

The soldiers head out swiftly as a unit.

Sergeant: You will need to come with us ladies! (attempts to lead them to a buggy with driver).

F.Nightingale: No, Sergeant!  We must stay behind to help when the newly wounded arrive. We are needed here and fear not for our safety!

Suddenly Rebel soldiers run into the camp and begin setting it on fire.

Colonel: (shoots at one soldier hitting him in the arm. They run off) Fire! Fire! Evacuate the camp and be quick about it! Help us load these wounded soldiers onto these transport wagons!

The soldiers and nurses load the patients quickly.  Sparse gunfire can be heard in the distance. All that remains is the Colonel, the Sergeant, Freiburg Nightingale and her two nurses standing clear as they watch what’s left of the camp burn.  A soldier rides up slightly wounded.

Soldier: Its over! The battle is over and it was a mean one Colonel. (slumps off his horse and the Sergeant catches him.) I’m afraid we lost them all.

Colonel: The entire regiment? Dead??!

Soldier: Yes sir. Horrible. The rebel troops outnumbered us 10 to 1. We stood no chance.

F.Nightingale: We must go and check on the wounded!

Soldier: That would be very unwise. The field is swarming with rebels and they'll be heading this way.

Colonel: I am forced to make a hasty decision. Sergeant, you shall personally escort Miss Nightingale and her fine nurses to Richmond where we will find her sanctuary until the proper authorities can be notified and her future determined. What a god-send you have been to our camp Miss Nightingale. Truly you are a beacon of hope to all the infirm. We can never thank you enough. Now Sergeant, take these women out of this dangerous situation before yet another casualty occurs!

The nurses leave reluctantly by buggy with the Sergeant. The Colonel instructs the bugler to play. Slowly men and transport wagons with the wounded and ill men come out from over hills and behind trees.

Colonel: OK men, we’ve only lost one tent and a few supplies. Let’s get this fire out and move camp down about 200 feet. We should be able to have this place reset by sundown.

Colonel: Sorry Higgins. I hope that wasn't a direct hit.

Higgins: Just a graze, sir.
 
 

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