The
Beatles...John Lennon, Paul McCartney, George Harrison, and Ringo Starr...
probably the most famous musical group of the twentieth century.
Much is written about this fab four from their humble beginnings in Liverpool,
their time in Hamburg, their music that seemed to spread like wildfire
throughout Great Britain, their monumental invasion into America and all
over the world. Their music, in its own way, changed the direction of the
music industry, and the destiny of the entire world. But so little is written
of the others... the so called "lost Beatles". What impact did their presence
in this group cause to occur? When discussing these some will mention Pete
Best and Stuart Sutcliffe. And yet one other name previously thought
to mean very little is suddenly being brought into the forefront.
In fact, it is possible that this one person is the connecting piece to
questions Beatle's fans have been asking for decades. And his name is ...Barry
Pork.
Barry Pork. He was a would-be drummer. From the beginning he wanted
to be a part of the group, and although they made it very clear to Barry
that he was not needed or wanted, they would spot him either following
them several paces back, sitting at a nearby table at restaurants,
or perhaps sleeping on their doorstep. Paul summed up Barry's presence
best in his statement, "We were sort of frightened of him in some sort
of average indescribable way. I think George may have had nightmares."
And yet he persisted to shadow them, hoping they would give him even the
slightest consideration, the slightest crumb from the banquet they were
feasting on.
It was during a performance at the famed "Cavern Club" in Liverpool that
Barry finally got his big break. Ringo had already replaced Pete Best as
drummer to Barry's disappointment. On this one particular night Ringo had
felt especially feverish with a bout of some illness. He attempted to perform
for over two hours. Then delirium set in and he dropped backwards onto
the stage. The other three hustled him off to the back and managed to get
him into the dressing room to lie down. Meanwhile the crowd was in
a fury for more. As John put it. "Well we were not quite sure what to do.
Poor Ringo was just lying there...
mumbling
under his breath about motor boats or something. And Barry came in. We
all sort of shuddered,of course. The crowd was screaming so loud for us
to return and we were supposed to play several more hours. Some of the
local girls were trying to push into the room and several of the bigger
bouncer types were holding them back. Our manager, Brian Epstein, was there
and he told us to just 'go back on...go!' so we went. I picked up my guitar
and when I looked back to see if the others were ready I noticed Barry
at the drums. But Brian was in the audience by then shouting at us to 'just
play...play anything!.' So we did. Fortunately Barry could actually play
the drums. Unfortunately he didn't have a very quick beat. Consequently
we spent about 8 or 10 minutes singing 'Love me Do' alone. By the 3rd song
George, who clearly was the least fond of Barry, of all of us, literally
picked him up and threw him out of the club. We did the rest of the night
without any drummer. There is a bootleg version of that night and
you can hear George in the background knocking over the drumset and shouting
at him, hitting him with the drumsticks, even above the noise of the crowd.
Its quite fascinating."
This, of course, did not deter Barry. Instead a taste of the limelight
only fueled his desire to be a part of the group. Unbeknownst to them he
arrived in New York then managed to sneak backstage of The Ed Sullivan
Show just before they went on the air. At this point George realized what
was going on. "I would have this feeling when he was about. Like a
psychic
thing. And this was before I ever met the Marharishi, too. But I just knew
he was somewhere nearby. Although we only had maybe 10 minutes before
going on I had to find him and get rid of him, somehow. So I started running
up and down those low basement corridors, looking behind doors for him.
I even banged my head pretty hard on a pipe sticking out, but that didn't
stop me. Then I saw him. He was at the opposite side of the stage by the
curtains eyeing the drumset which was ready to be pushed out. The curtains
were opened and some comedy group duo was doing their routine. I couldn't
find my way back through all those corridors in time to get to him.
Yet I couldn't help myself. He spotted me and waved. So I coyly waved back.
Then I started motioning for him to come over to me. Yes, I actually wanted
him to cross the stage during their act. It was my hope that if he started
across some stagehand would grab him and escort him out of the theater.
Instead he stood there confused, waving at me, so pleased at my attention
to him. By now I was using both arms motioning wildly to him to come over
to me! Then suddenly I caught the eye of Mr. Sullivan, standing off
to the side, glaring at me. It was very apparent that he thought I was
up to some prank...some upstart youngster trying to ruin his show. He made
an obscene threatening arm motion at me and I was stunned. Very fortunately
the duo ended their routine and the cameras were suddenly on him and his
demure quickly changed. Our instruments were rushed onstage and he was
left with no time to do anything but introduce us. The songs went smoothly.
We were an instant hit. Later when we went to our dressing rooms there
sat Barry having eaten half the food they left for us. It was then I could
finally beat him to satisfaction."
And yet Barry persisted. There seemed to be no stopping his passion for
becoming a member of the group. He dressed and wore his hair in classic
Beatle fashion hoping to confuse fans into signing autographs. Several
songs, "I'm a Loser", "Nowhere Man", "Eleanor Rigby", "Here, There, and
Everywhere", "Fool on the Hill", "Help", (etc) were all inspired by Barry.
Ringo explains, "The entire film 'Help' stemmed from our constantly dodging
Barry. He was out to get me, you know. Wanted to replace me. And one night
we were just sitting around and I said..'this is like a film. No
matter where we go he's chasing us trying to get rid of me or something.
And everyone thought it was a great idea...us making a movie. The idea
just sort of developed. Then they brought in writers and they wanted some
international intrigue and action and all. So the plot sort of changed.
But whenever we did any of the chase scenes we used Barry as our motivation.
The director would say like, 'Pretend that tiger is Barry! Barry is right
there with his growling teeth!' And we'd really feel the fear and it helped
immensely with our acting. Cause we weren't actors you know."
Still there were times when Barry slipped past their strong efforts to
keep him out. Somehow he managed to get chosen as one of the passengers
in the Magical Mystery Tour film although the Beatles were not aware of
his presence on the set until the album was released. It was then they
spotted him waving in the top left hand corner of the final page of the
booklet included with the album. "I've torn his picture out of thousands
of albums," says George. "No matter where I am, who I'm with, if they have
a 'Magical Mystery Tour' album I'll grab it and rip out Barry's picture.
I've gone through hundreds of record shops, too. I won't be stopped. Ever."
During that same time, Barry also snuck into the recording studio during
the taping of "Strawberry Fields". Although some critics will argue
that at the end of the song someone is saying either, "I buried Paul",
part of the whole "Paul is dead" controversy, or "I'm very bored",
or even "cranberry sauce" as thought to be heard on one of the takes,
it has now been confirmed that it was infact Barry saying, "I'm Barry Pork".
Unfortunately this would be the turning point.
By now Barry was having a profound effect on their individual lives. "Well
we basically got into the whole drug scene to escape in sorts from Barry.
It was very stressful." says Ringo. "George was now consumed with Barry
and was trying to
find solace
in the whole eastern religion thing in India. He felt he had ESP. We were
worried about him because he had always been such a gentle person. Then
George, who apparently had been working on elaborate plans to rid our lives
of Barry divulged them to us. We would all go to India to supposedly spend
time with the Marharishi. Barry would of course follow. That was all he
could tell us at the time. We weren't sure about George's state of mind
at the time and felt it best to just go along with him. Somewhere halfway
to India George got a big grin on his face in the plane and simply said.
'He's coming.' I was a bit spooked myself. When we landed we were greeted
by the press, of course, and the Marharishi and his entourage. We then
drove for an hour or two until we were at the Marharishi's palace. We were
exhausted and went directly to bed. The following morning we were awoken
for meditation lessons. I was very uneasy the whole time about the
way George was acting. Paul and John were concerned also, but we said nothing
to him. He would just say little things to us like, 'trust me', and 'it'll
all soon be over', and 'freedom awaits us'. We didn't know what to
think. And we hadn't actually seen Barry. Then to my great shock he showed
up at our next meal and was given a seat right amongst us! And George acted
very pleased to see him. He chatted with him, began raving about Barry's
drumming abilities to his good friend Ravi Shanker. Ravi acted extremely
interested in all this and insisted that Barry play something on the "tabla",
the traditional Indian drums. Barry was eager to attempt his hand at it
and picked up the drums. He played rather clumsily, but George and Ravi
seemed delighted and egged him on. Ravi grabbed his sitar and together
they played. It was really, really terrible. Barry was holding the
drums improperly and was also very much off beat. Yet they played for nearly
45minutes. I could barely stand it myself and was feeling a bit queasy
when Ravi stopped and made an announcement. He was in need of a drummer
for a group he was developing to do small concerts at local fairs and was
going to hire Barry! Barry was flattered beyond words. Ravi grabbed the
phone and made a few calls. Barry needed to join the newly formed band
immediately or miss out. There was a village fair on the other side of
India and he needed to be there or he would be replaced. Barry was too
overwhelmed not to go. Ravi sent his car to whisk him to the airport. They
literally threw his bags in the car and sped off leaving huge tire marks.
And just like that he was gone. Gone and out of our lives.
George was overcome with emotion and wept for hours. Occasionally we would
get reports about him. Ravi dropped him within a few months, but Barry
was so in love with the tabla he continued to hire new members. He spent
nearly 15 years playing across India although none of his bands lasted
longer than 3 weeks once they rehearsed with him. Yet somehow he
persevered until one very disappointed village, who had hired him for their
biggest festival of the decade, smashed his tabla over his head and forcibly
put him on a plane back to England. Later I heard, as luck would have it,
he opened up a string of Tandoori's Indian Restaurants in and around the
London area and eventually made millions."
Back to Between Myth and Mirth
© 1998 - 2001 AMS
Please note: Content of
this story is fictional and meant only as a light-hearted look at what
could have occurred had their ever really been a Barry Pork who was desperate
to be a Beatle. This of course still doesn't explain the "I'm Barry
Pork" thing at the end of "Strawberry Fields". What's that all about? Too
weird...)