+ Contents +
+Tales of the Two +
Mage asked so I reply! Mage, ye asked for this! I warn you many of you may be shocked by what I have to say here but said it shall be done! Mage and Monty have chosen li'l ol' me to take charge of some of the 'fleshier' issues of our Order and we all know these may best be represented by a woman among us...and one who has no fear of being outspoken!
First of all I am a Goddess. Not by choice at first but, as many of you ladies out there know, you are worshipped by men of all ages when you reach that age where you begin to 'blossom'! I considered myself quite plain (even now I won't say I'm far beyond average!) until my blooming starting in my eleventh summer. Quite a site I was then with more nips than tits in my favorite teddy bear tees! (Did I say tease?!?!) Still, I began turning heads of males I passed on the street, in malls and everywhere I went!
Fellows and fellow females who have tasted woman flesh, don't ask! I am happily married now with two lovely babies and attend our Rites and Festivals skyclad (or as close as I care to!) as always but now with a lot less 'giving' as before simply out of respect for myself and my husband.
To save Monty a lot of time here are my stats. I'm 5'3, near 120lbs, have flaming red hair (hence my chosen Order name!), of a Sun Sign, freckled near head to toe, have a 'barely B' bra size and fear I'm moving from hourglass to pear after birthing my babes.
By day I am a restaurant manager and hope soon, with my hubby, to open a restaurant of our own. I met him as a waitress and he a manager. The One told me well in advance he was coming and I knew my soulmate at a glance as I walked in for an interview with him!
He is Christian by faith but is a barely active member of the Order as well. He originally entered out of curiosity and he was frank about it: He wanted to know what I was doing running and rumming around naked with all those men!
Truth be told we are more women than men but tell even the most permissive boyfriend you perform magick skyclad in a co-ed coven and just watch his eyes buldge!
So, to start at the beginning I entered high school a virgin but all too aware of the profound power I have over the 'weaker sex'! Now my family are great folks but of a stuffy religion predominant to this area and that simply 'kindled the fires' for me, hot by nature anyway, to begin my sexual escapades with ernest! (:and frank and henry and george...:)
I lost my cherry at a high school party after doing my normal thing: getting drunk then dancing promiscuously and baring as I dared. (Because of my 'outgoing' nature I was as a freshman invited to the best of the junior and senior get togethers, much to the disdain of the older girls!) Only difference was this time I bared and shared all, taking the host's parents room and my initiation to 'womanhood' with no less than three of the boys in attendance.
Now I was already rumored to be a 'slut' and, while I liked all the boys involved to a degree, what awaited me that Monday at school could be likened to a tornado! My antics got out yes, and seems the word was every male at that party was in every orifice in me! Of course my deflowering was not to be mentioned in the entire tale around campus so there I was, ostracised for a period of perhaps two weeks, nearly an eternity for any teenager!
Then the next party invites came. The only difference now was there were rarely any other girls in attendance. It became a game for me and all involved: would I get drunk enough to lose all inhibitions and let them have their way with me? More often than not I did and felt no remorse, only my satisfaction and theirs!
I want it clear that never during this time was I raped but as they say, who can rape a willing soul? And taken advantage of? Maybe but I see I was taking advantage of the situation as well. I was never in want for a ride, a dinner date, a movie, a loan we both knew would never be repaid...
About that time another girl started hanging with me. She was older and had a rep too, that of a witch. She was going for the whole goth look even back then and I like most just didn't take her seriously. Still we became fast friends and as spring approached in my frosh year she introduced me to Mage.
Just to listen to the man speak a few moments! I'd had religion shoved down my throat all my life but his simple, soft spoken truths floored me! I finally saw a place I belonged and was meant to be, among others and in the universe!
Mage then took me as a neophyte and described to me much of what you have already read here. In short, I gained some self respect and began perfecting my gifts as I continue to do today. The 'boy toy' days were soon passed, much to the disdain of my boy toys. I simply didn't have the time for those foolish games anymore!
I was a ready learner for Mage and my grades at school also improved trememdously as he encouraged me to seek knowledge in any way I could. My parents were also relieved to see I actually began going out 'half dressed' and, while still a very sexy dresser I felt an aversion to what even then I considered the 'slutty' way I dressed just weeks before! Though I'll never entirely want to give up my Goddess powers of appeal here was a real turning point in my life!
So my endoctrination was soon over. While I would have done anything Mage asked and all too often hoped he would the man has never touched me in a sexual manner. Sensual definitely, he is the only man ever to touch me other than my husband who can bring out that feeling in me at the same time spiritual, emotional and erotic. That is as it should be to any Master to his Neophyte, as I have always been with mine!
Let me add here we always induct ours with opposite sex Masters. This is a problem for women new to it because of mine only one in five ever made it to Acolyte. The process takes some time and its too easy to weed out the guys who just aren't serious. How often I have heard questions like, "All this learning stuff is great but when do I get to see all the girls run around naked?" Needless to say fellows your education upon any clue of that type of thinking is promptly over!
Monty is crying mercy and I was just getting started! Well, in days to come I will add much of a woman's point of view on our faith, our practices and my personal adventures as well.
Blessed Be and Blessed Me!
++++++++++++++++++++++
Now, my subject for a time will be the mysteries of the two...I warn those with 'virgin eyes' please don't read further! I've been chosen to divulge these tales to you because I am a woman but can in no way be described as soft spoken, inhibited or inexperienced!
I want to say from the onset, by whatever means you practice, PRACTICE SAFE SEX! Yes, it takes from the spontaneity and the mystery but not so doing may take away from your LIFE! Don't let your fate be death by a hideous disease or by birthing a poor, unwanted child...any who tell you otherwise are fools and not of our Order!
Ahem...that out of the way...the two...night and day, yin and yang, woman and man. It seems the very existence of our universe depends on the unions of exact opposites! (In that alone it can't be said She doesn't have a sense of humor!)
I could go on and on about the many philosophies of the two but I will leave those discourses to others more learned in them. My focus will be how they apply to our Order, myself and 'couples' in general.
Really a good way to start is to elaborate on my tale a bit. In what you have read before of me you saw my 'union' with men at first was in its most basic form: pure, simple lust!
Ever stop to wonder why sex feels so good? Blessed Be! The theory I subscribe to is that is a plan of the One simply so we would 'be fruitful and multiply'. No one will argue with me (with any real argument anyway!) that after our basic needs of food and shelter are met what are we looking for? Sex! Or for our more 'civilized' readers, Mates! (See a relation here, folks?)
Society today has put so many barriers to get to what once was so pure a need. Most ladies fall into this quandry much deeper than men: be a 'good girl', find a 'good man', 'why pay the milkman', etc, etc, etc.
It was just my nature to not be concerned with any of this drivel. I was curious about sex, wanted it badly and must say even now one of my fondest memories of 'mating' (and, needless to say, that's a HUGE list!) was 'losing it'...the very recall of the divine mix of pleasure, pain, wonder and awe make me sweaty and ready even today!
I am still not beyond that but limit my 'releases' to my loving hubby, poor man! He never knows when (or how!) I'll pounce on him and I keep him in a state of fear and expectation I'm sure! (Hey, he's my favorite worshipper!)
Before I rage on about my 'little' (understatement!!!) piece of heaven, the next part of my sexual evolution came with advancing to Acolyte in the Order. At the end of each Ritual we 'do as we will' with each other, only the willing of course, as a release of the energy built up by the Ritual.
This is not to say sex is the only release and several (as I do today, on my merry way in search of my mate!) prefer to leave at this point in the Ritual but it was always my chosen way. At first the semi-clad bodies, masks, surroundings (outdoors or one of several rented and unique hideaways) and very air of magic was like a magnet...not even a thousand horses could pull me away!
Still in little time I realized the awesome power that was being released and many of our collective spells were VERY swift in casting as a result. The end of the search for my mate was but one of these.
Both the animal and spiritual natures of sex are unfolded at what we call 'festivals'. Not to be confused with specific dates on anyone's calendars, these are just times we get together to share of ourselves in any way we wish!
Normally held at a location preordained by Mage, these events are truly Magic! Dress as ye will, trade ideas with others of the Order, tease, please and just have a grand time!
Now we abide the laws of the land and this made things VERY difficult for me at thirteen...NO sex within the Order with men over three years my senior...ARRGGGHHH!!! Still one of the Order members bought me a g-string and pasties (just like in the photos here) so I was able to attend just so long as I 'looked the other way' (yeah, right!) from the 'adult' goings on.
Still, that was a great learning experience! Everyone was so supportive and listened to me ramble, weep, moan and becry my teen angst but NEVER did any of the men (or women who would later) try to seduce me or make me break any laws.
So I danced. I made cute, sexy barely there costumes to prance about in. I listened to others, learned alot and was always very well received.
I want to say here that this is a very liberating feeling for a woman. We always start these festivals with a open discussion of Order business, happenings and just general talk. This then becomes someting like a cocktail party. We mingle, cast or do readings in small groups and generally do what 'normal' folks would do at any such gathering...except we are in various states of undress!
Yes, Ladies, you will be 'oogled'. You will hear our versions of 'pick-up lines' from both sexes. But NEVER will you be told you are a 'slut' or judged for your sexuality however sexual you may be! This is our nature and festivals are just a way of our showing each other our bodies are beautiful, meaningful and nothing to be ashamed of!
There are those, particularly new Acolytes, who prefer some form of dress. These have been for years a 'toga' (yes, one white sheet!) but now Monty has found a much more becoming alternative for his Order here in the photos. He agrees these are not mandatory but will ask those not getting them to also add the gold 'sash' as part of the general costume.
On the other extreme...me! The three males and two of the females near enough my age were subject to a barrage of my releases! Always in a seperate room so as not to cause any legal troubles for our elders, we soon established where the real party was!
Fifteen finally came...WOOHOO!!! Now I was free when we had festivals in Georgia (so long as someone near my age was driving, of course! ACK!)to REALLY do as I wished! Look out, fellas!
Now I'm going to risk getting bashed by the prudes who may read this but that's fine...you'll never know where I am and online is not one of the places! I hope you'll not take out your rage on Monty...he's only typing this!...but he says he doesn't mind because he deletes more mail than he reads anyway!
I played 'slave girl' for years at Fantasy Festivals (for those who don't know, that comes near the end and is where volunteer 'slaves' are bid on as a fund raiser and have to hang with their master an hour doing whatever you will do of whatever your 'master' asks) and was dying to take that a step further at OUR festivals!
So I asked to be loosely tied to a bed and any could do as they wished to me as I thrashed, screamed and basically acted like a 'slave girl being broken in'!!! A few rules (no blindfolds, me saying 'uncle' meant 'stop whatever you're doing' and 'protection' were about all of them)and I was on my way to orgasm after orgasm!
Whew! Ah, the memories! Those are over now and seeing there is no time left to describe the most important tale of the two...that being soul mates...I must leave that addition for another day so I have time for a little words for my new friends in the Chambers and Mage may make his addition as well.
I Love You All as does The All!
++++++++++++++++++++++
So today I finally get my own 'book'! I am so excited! I want to say while this may not mean much to others it has been a blessing to me...a cleansing of my spirit and clearing of my mind! The One is ever mysterious and has granted me the Love and Strenghs of so many, and All, and of these two wonderful men Mage and Monty!
Now those who have read thus far will find this entry very surprising. I feel any who were meant to read this will and those who seek to understand it shall. All who do neither are either on a different path or not yet ready for the one I have followed.
The greatest Love one can possess is a Love for the One and, as such, themselves. I can hear many exclaim "how can you love yourself after all you've done?" By way of explaination I will say, while I am not proud of all my experiences, there are none I regret and all have contributed to who I am today.
I am admittedly a hedonist and a lover of pleasures of the flesh. I will say that even in my most selfless activities I am still acting very selfishly. I know that everything I do is an addition to me and to the One. Be it for my pleasure or for the welfare of another I seek first and foremost my individual development and enlightenment for, through this, I am better empowered to fulfill my destiny.
Two cases in point: Monty has told me of how he has joked with you about we women of the Order demanding to do readings for our men. So true! Still, we take great pride in these skills, moreso than most of them would, and feel we are better able as seers and prophets. Woe be the man among us who would argue otherwise!
Another is a 'covert operation' performed by my hubby and me on nearly a daily basis. We work in a restaurant and, while strictly against the rules and which could cost us both our jobs, we take the best of the foods which would be thrown out and distribute it to the homeless in boxes other than our company's. We hope to have our own restaurant soon where fear of discovery will not include the devastating results of us losing our livlihoods but we trust the One and heed the call to do what we do!
Now, do we do this for our men and for the hungry? Of course we do! But let it never be said that these things we do are not primarily for ourselves and the One. We develop by these acts and grow in power and stature. We 'complete' ourselves.
The next greatest love for me is that for my children. (Yes, my dear husband knows this well and agrees emphatically with me!) I believe only women (and possibly those men who have had female incarnations) have any real understanding of this. Among these the deepest knowledge of course may only be had by 'true' mothers.
I was lucky in my younger years, before entering the Order, not to have become pregnant. I am sure I would have loved my children then but, still being a child myself, could have in no way provided the care and nurturing I am capable of today. For this I am ever grateful to the One for bestowing the mercy on me and mine that so many have never known!
No matter the age of the 'mother' there are those who, for whatever lack of spiritual development or obsessions, cannot truly claim the name 'mother' as I see it. Horror stories abound of neglect, abuse and abandonment that I need not repeat and only would only cause me the greatest sorrow by speaking of such and not acting. I will say my heart goes out not only to the children but to thier parent who indeed knows little or no enlightment in this time of their spiritual development.
Now mothers, by my definition, how did it feel to discover you were pregnant with your first child? Mere words cannot describe our joy! Then to feel this little life, this kindred soul, growing inside you! Both of mine brought the same experience and I must say there have never been any 'inside' me save the One who have ever brought me to such a place of fulfillment! Blessed Be!
Now those who have read thus far know me well enough to know all the 'idiosyncracies' of a mother to be were something I'd never hide! I sang to my babes even in public and before showing, only smiling (radiantly!) at any who would give me more than a passing glance! I was extremely, neurotically aware of strangers, locations, foods or anything that might harm me as a vessel of the babe growing within.
I say to all mothers to trust these instincts! You will find that most you meet who truly understand your 'bizarre behaviors' know instictively what is 'going on inside you'. Likewise, those who have no clue or may be of evil disposition are more likely to consider you crazy and give you wide passage!
I must say if I ever felt beautiful to behold it was during my pregnancies. Because of a deeply, happily ingrained love for my husband and, perhaps sadly, those of my upbringing I rarely attended festivals skyclad and rituals only when I led them and then only as needed while pregnant. Still, I, being me, could not contain my 'goddess appeal' and felt I'd be doing myself and my Order a great disservice by completely concealing my beauty!
Was I well received? Yes! In a way much different from ever before and, to me, the very best way a woman might be recognized among ours! Did I allow myself to be touched? Yes! My tummy was stroked and caressed by all in an air of friendship and a 'sensuality' that only comes from the very act of creation itself!
A good and properly led Order (coven or by whatever name you would like to describe them) is the greatest place a mother to be can be! Not only was I and my babes respected, loved, fawned over and cared for but I am certain these very kindnesses are why my children are so well adjusted in this very chaotic world! I know any mother may speak this way but mine are as intelligent, well behaved and courageous (which provides me the greatest challenge while they are young!) as any mother could ask for!
Delivery...good choice of terms for all it implies! As mine were 'delivered' into this realm so many feelings rushed through me...pain, pleasure, elation, a never before known spiritual awakening all occurring simultaneously and overwhelming all my senses! Then the babe being handed to me...to meet the little one I've known already what seems (and I believe has been!) all my existence now in my arms, so tiny, so helpless and telling me with no words needed, "I'm here now. Love me, nurture me, guide me and help me become what I was intended to be!"
Ahh, the majesty and harmony of it All! I really sympathize for men and any others who may never know this joy and sense of being a part of the One!
I know I speak to many youth through these writings and in closing I just want to add please be ready for this VERY important development in your life...spiritually, emotionally and mostly financially. The 'all you need is love' theory fails the vast majority of times and creates a living hell not only for the unprepared mother but also for the poor child they bring into the world. Be sure you are heeding the call of a power greater than yourself and have the needed network of support before even considering birthing a babe!
Yes, there is more as I have yet to begin my discussion of soul mates. I will return afterwards with some of my views on 'pagan parenting' as well but we would welcome the contributions of other mothers here as mine are still 'young' and have few of the troubles so often faced by families of any faith.
Mmmm, Monty! Ever diligent and ever the poet! Still, I see each of his 'translations' of my words and am always well pleased with them...someone needs catch this one soon!
With My Love and the Love of the One!
� Copyright 'Nation of Union' 2002. All rights reserved.
+ Flame's Gone Wild +
+ Flame's More Mild +
+ Flame With Child +
+Flame+
+flame+
+flame+