HEY THERE JOSH AND RYAN it's KE-RI!! Josh your CAT is on FIRE again!!!
(sorry everyone-- personal and private in-joke with those guys.) If you guys are reading the page, CALL ME! I miss you and I want you to come seee my place.
I was thinking today that the thing I'm going to miss the most about not graduating is that I don't get to have my senior page in the yearbook. That's where I could put all my in-jokes from school between me and my friends, but since there is no more school? Shrug?
I'm writing a little crazy because I had a LOT of coffee this morning. Trevor gave me a little lesson on the coffee maker in the kitchen so now I'm FLYING HIGH!! This weekend was pretty low-key. The guys went to San Jose for a conference for their company (what do you do at an internet meeting? Get drunk, I guess) so they left me alone with the DVD's. Some interesting movies I watched-- "Neo Genesis Envangelion"(there is a cute bird), and also "Back To The Future 2" (haven't seen that one in a million years-- it's from "the past"-- Ha! )
We are going miniature golfing tonight at this place by the freeway that i have seen but never been to. I am going to absolutely kick their butts. They might be OK when it comes to games on the computer or video games, but those guys are pretty skinny and you know I've been working out!
CHECK IN WITH YA TOMORROW!!! Love, Ke-Ri
Dec. 17, 2002
Can't write today. Craziness. I will tell you about it tomorrow.
Love,
Ke-Ri
Dec. 18, 2002
JESUS CHRIST WHY DO I EVEN BOTHER TO BE NICE TO PEOPLE!!!?!!!
Okay, so to start it all off, Monday Night we went to this stupid minigolf course. I knew it would be bad because Luke and Trevor were like all we're going to sneak some beers in, because I guess the weekend in San Jose has made us total alcoholics and we cannot have fun without some beers in our systems. So not only was the game stupid and annoying with them staggering all over and not playing it for real at all, but they kept screaming at the other people playing and annoying them. (I don't know if I've mentioned this, but Trevor has a VERY squeaky voice, and it does not make him fun to listen to.)
So around the end of the course I am lining up to take my shot and suddenly, what do I feel on my butt? You guessed it! LUKE'S HAND! And I say STOP IT! And he asked me what my problem was and I said YOU'RE MY PROBLEM! Then I pushed him and he turned around and Trevor came over and suddenly (he said it was an accident but I'm not sure) Trevor hit me in the chest with his elbow and I fell on the ground.
So we went home right then without finishing the game and I locked myself in the bathroom. I thought MAYBE one of them would come knock but when I came out they were just drinking and playing Diddy Kong Racing. So I started packing up my things and putting them back in the boxes, and then Luke is all up in my face saying WHAT ARE YOU DOING? Screaming, actually. And I'm like, I'M GOING AWAY, THAT'S WHAT. And he screamed that he thought I wanted a FUCKING HUSBAND. And I said FUCK YOU NOT IN THAT WAY.
This whole time Trevor is pacing around the room and scratching his head like he has lice, and then Luke is like "PLEASE GO TO THE BEDROOM!" So he does. Then we hear something break, and we run in there and guess what? Somehow Trevor knocked over the whole fucking dresser onto the bed and all the glasses that were on top are broken on the ground. Trevor was screaming "I'M SORRY! I DON'T KNOW HOW IT HAPPENED!"
So while they're cleaning it up I go back to packing and then about twenty minutes Luke comes out and says "Ke-Ri I want to talk to you about this. You act like I'm not your husband at all." I said "You are my husband, but I don't like it when you touch me." And he said "That doesn't work for me." He smells like beer this WHOLE TIME, I might add. And I'm like well YOU don't work for me. If you were a Mr. Brad Pitt or Ryan Gosling I would let you touch my butt but you're not. I only like you as a friend and a person who has a nice place to stay. I don't want to kiss you or touch you and you just need to live with that, because It's how I am and I will not lie for you.
Then you'll never guess what this guy did. He actually STARTED CRYING in front of me. I have NEVER seen a guy cry before, let alone a drunk one all covered in glass. I got on the phone and called Josh who came and picked me up and I stayed at his house because his Mom and Dad are in Maui.
But the next morning I went back with Ryan to get my stuff and guess what? Those BASTARDS had thrown my shit all over the room and then gone to work!!! There was an incredibly MEAN note from both of them which I will do my fans the favor of NOT printing, because it had some of the most disgusting things I've ever read in it, including the words c*nt and d*ke..
So it took two or three hours to pack up all my stuff, and when I'm almost done, guess who calls? MY DAD! I was stupid enough to answer the phone. He says you need to come home and I say screw you! Then I say I'll only go home if we go on Dr. Phil or another show and straighten this crap out between us! Then he called me a spoiled brat in his screaming voice so I turned off my phone. I HATE EVERYONE!!!!!
Now I am at Josh's again and CHRIST I HATE THIS! I don't have a husband anymore my clothes are all dirty and some of them are ripped I look like a CRACK JUNKY and i need to use Josh's slow-ass computer to update. I hate this whole town. SCREW EVERYONE! I am going to take a run.
Love,
Ke-Ri
Dec. 19, 1980
Yes, Fans, things are really really bad here. Josh is at school and I am in his room, typing away on his computer. He doesn't even have any good games. Plus he is still sort of mad at me over this whole thing, so even though he is letting me stay, it is not like old times.
I feel like i need to seriously rethink the way things are going. The way I see it I have four options. To stay here with Josh and have him hate me forever and ever. To go back to live with Luke and Justin where they will probably kill me in my sleep they are so angry at me (for what reason I STILL don't understand), or to maybe try going back to school. There is ABSOLUTELY NO WAY I am going back to live with my dad after some of the things he said to me on phone messages lately. He is a selfish and mean person.
The other option, even though the thought is sickening, is my Mom. I am not sure even of how to get in touch with her, but maybe I could ask my Dad or Miranda (if they stop screaming for one second and notice I am alive). She is also a terrible person, but she might be a place to live. It is better than being homeless.
I ate a McDonalds breakfast sandwich today. Now my stomach feels bloated and crampy. I hate my fat.
Love,
Ke-Ri
Dec. 20, 2002
MYSELF
by Ke-Ri
All alone
in the room
with myself
all the gloom
pushes me in
to a wall
I can't find myself at all.
Should I go?
Should I stay?
Is there any other way?
Someone out there.
Tell me please.
Is Jesus or God there for me?
Or am I here.
In this my home?
Truly and at last alone?
I am feeling very down about my life today. It is hard for me even to sit and write this to all of you. I am not even sure if anyone reads my page any more. If someone wants to write me, I can still always read my e-mails.
It does not look like a very Merry Xmas this year. I hope you all have loved ones who care about you. I just had a fight with Josh. As of today, I just have the site.
Love,
Ke-Ri