ROOMMATES
"TESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS" Maria's rage-filled voice could have woken the dead. She stood in the bathroom that she now shared with Tess and Kyle. Her mom had married the Sheriff. She was fine with that. She had moved into a new house. She was fine with that. Kyle was her step-brother, again, fine by her. She now shared not only a bathroom with Tess, but her room. Definitely not fine with that. "Where the hell is my Cypress oil when I need it," she muttered to herself as Tess appeared in the doorway. "Maria, the next time you are going to scream like that, you may want to warn all the poor dogs in the neighborhood," Tess said. Maria took a deep breath before she spoke. She had gotten the 'you really should try to get along with Tess' speech from her mom for the umpteenth time last night. She was really tempted to tell her mother that Tess was another species sent to this planet to wreak havoc and that Tess was actually Satan. For some reason, however, she didn't think her mom would believe her. "Ok, I know that you can obey the simplest of requests being that you respond to someone calling you," Maria began, "so how about you don't leave huge puddles of water when you shower?" "Well, I could do that Maria," Tess said in her most innocent of voices, "but SOME of us were not meant to do menial labor. I leave that for those who wear uniforms." With that, Tess left Maria in the bathroom. "And stop borrowing my curling iron," was the only thing that Maria could get out of her mouth. After counting to ten, she too left the bathroom. And bumped straight into Kyle. "Watch out, Stalker-boy," she said as she sped past him. "And a good morning to you too sunshine," he said as he entered the now vacant bathroom. Jim and Amy sat at the kitchen table, oblivious to the struggle that is going on around them. Kyle has just realized that YET AGAIN, Tess has eaten the last of his cereal and has YET AGAIN put an empty carton of milk back in the fridge. He is shaking and muttering to himself, "She must die, they're no two ways about it, she has just got to go." Maria, hearing his conversation with himself, grabs him by his shoulders so he is facing her, "Does twenty to life mean anything to you? Cause that's the only thing standing in my way. Repeat after me...one big happy family." Kyle nods in agreement. Tess walks into the kitchen. "Kyle, I used your toothbrush, I hope you don't mind." She leaves to go to school. "Twenty years isn't so long," Kyle mutters under his breath as he hold the door for Maria and they go off the school. "I'm telling you Liz, I should be getting sainthood any day now for putting up with her," Maria says as she closes her locker. "She has no consideration, and she snores. Ever since Max told her in no uncertain terms that they were never going to be together, she has dropped her whole, 'I'm nice, love me' act and it has been pure hell." "Is there anything I can do?" Liz asks as she and Maria walk to class. "I could poison her food when she comes into the Crashdown." Liz, seeing that Maria is seriously considering the idea quickly says, "I'm kidding." "What are we kidding about," Alex asks as he joins the group. "Killing Tess," Maria answers. "That bad? Really?" Alex asks her. "She leaves wads of her hair in the shower drain." Maria answers. "'Nuff said, she must go," Alex jokes as they go into class. "MAX!! Are you here to see me," Tess asks as she sees Max in HER room. She refused to even acknowledge the existence of Maria. "Actually, I was here to talk to Maria," Max says while looking around the room uncomfortably. "Do you know when she should be home?" "Hopefully, not for hours," Tess says as she advances on Max. "Tess," Max whispers, "it's not going to happen." He pushes her away. Tess growls and stomps into the bathroom. Max sits on Maria's bed and hears the shower turn on. He needs to talk to Maria about Liz, if it were anything else, he would leave, but it's important. Twenty minutes later, Tess enters her room again, clad only in a robe. Before she even opens her mouth, Max, not even looking up from the book he is reading, says, "Not a chance in hell." Tess stalks over to Maria's half of the room, opens her dresser drawer and takes out the curling iron Maria was attempting to hide from her. She returns back to the bathroom. Maria enters her room and sees Max splayed out on her bed. "Max, we've discussed this already, Liz is my friend, and I've got ear issues, we can never be," she says as she plops down next to him. "Very funny. I need to talk to you about Liz but can we do it somewhere else, SHE's in there." At that moment, there is a loud pop, the lights dim, there is a scream and smoke emanates from under the bathroom door. Max and Maria open the door and find Tess electrocuted on the floor. "I was wrong," Max says quietly, "there is a god." The End