KISS OF DEATH
By special guest author
Andrea
Eraser
room. Fifth period. 'Wow', Michael thought to himself as he passionately kissed
Maria's neck. 'I am so glad that whole prom thing is over with.' Maria gripped
Michael's back. "Oh Michael, that feels sooooo gooooood. We haven't
been here in such a long time. I'm so glad you grabbed me before I
could go to French Club. And I'm so glad I convinced you to get rid of that
stupid mullet hairdo and go back to the hair you had last year.' Maria smiled
to herself. Michael moved up to kiss Maria's plump lips. All of a sudden there
was a furious knock at the door. Startled, Michael stopped kissing Maria and
opened the door. Tess was standing there with her most phony look of urgency
pasted across her face.
"Yeah?
What do you want?" Michael practically barked at Tess. "Have you seen
Max?" Tess spluttered. "No, why? Did you rent out the Eraser room for
sixth period?" Maria asked snidely. "I need to find him! I MUST speak
to him!" Tess continued to blubber. "I don't know where Max
is—I'm
his second-in-command, not his babysitter." Michael replied. "Oh
fine,
then!" Tess marched off in a huff. Michael shrugged, closed the
door
and went right back to kissing Maria.
* * *
Lunch
period, next day. Behind the bleachers on the playing field. Michael and Maria
were wrapped around each other so tightly they looked like one person. From
where Tess was standing, that is. She marched right up to them anyway. She
stood behind Michael, who was bent rapturously over Maria's tiny writhing
frame. 'Ooooohh, Maria thought hazily, it's so nice to be sucking face again on
a regular basis. This is exactly what we were missing that
whole time we were running around after Lori Dupree.' Maria couldn't see Tess
standing
and tapping her foot impatiently behind Michael. Probably because her eyes were
closed and Tess is much shorter than Michael.
"Um-HUM!"
Tess cleared her throat loudly and in a prissy manner. "Excuse me!"
Michael and Maria groaned and reluctantly detangled themselves from each other.
"What?!" Michael shot out at Tess. "Are you looking
for Max again?" Tess nodded her head emphatically. "Yes, it's
very
important!" She squealed. Her boobs were practically falling out
of
her tube top. Not much to fall out, either. Michael gave Tess the most
withering look he owned (which really would have put a normal human into a
state of extreme anxiety, but unfortunately had no effect on the dim-witted
blonde alien standing before him.) "I don't
care how important it is. If you need to find Max all the time and you can't,
it must mean he doesn't want you to find him!"
At
that, Michael turned his back on Tess and went back to being all over Maria.
"Hmmph!" Tess squeaked out indignantly, then turned on her
heel and stomped off.
* * *
Michael's
apartment. Later that evening. Michael was hard at working
making a hickey that would glow on Maria's neck. The shade over his
window was drawn, and the moonlight dimly glowed through the thin beige shade.
At first he didn't hear it because he was so busy, but
then there it was. Michael heard a distinct tapping at the window. "What
the hell?" he said, and sat up.
"Why
did you stop, Michael?" Maria asked plaintively from her
spot, still on her back on the couch. Michael raised the
shade and saw Tess standing outside the window, motioning for him to open it.
"Oh man!" Michael almost shouted. "Why is she always
interrupting us?"
"Yeah," Maria
answered, "This is the second time today!" Michael angrily
shoved
the window open.
"Ok,
what is it this time?" Michael demanded. "Look, I can't
find Max anywhere, and he's not home and I have to talk to him
about
remembering more from our past and I don't know where he is and I just need to
see him right now!" Tess simpered at top speed. "Alright, that's it.
You just keep bothering Maria and me when we're in the middle of
something and I can't take it
anymore!"
At that, Michael raised his hand and blasted her squarely in
the chest with his powers at full strength. Her ridiculously clad body flew up
into the air and backwards and landed on top of the compost heap in
the
next door neighbor's yard.
Maria
sat up. "Oh my god, Michael. Your neighbors hate Tess! We can't just leave
her in their yard!"
"You're right."
Michael leaned out the window and raised his hand once more. Tess's body burst
into flames and quickly turned the compost into a simmering compost heap. Then
Michael pulled himself back inside and shut the window. "Better for their
garden anyway." Then he went back to creating his own flames of passion
with Maria.
The
End