A GIG TO REMEMBER
By special guest author Bette
It
was a lovely Saturday morning, and the Whits were getting ready for their
gig at the old Soap Factory. They'd been waiting on Maria, and had
decided
to start without her.
Nicky was getting agitated. "Alex, dude, she's your
friend. That makes you
responsible or something."
"I told you she's getting over that throat thing. Give her a few
minutes.
She'll be here."
They heard a vehicle parking outside. Naturally, they expected to see
Maria
walk in, but got Tess instead. A collective groan could be heard
coming from
the garage.
"Hey, guys! I heard Maria was sick, so I figured I could take
her place at
the party tonight. I mean, I kind of look like her, right? Only
better, of
course. The girl has no fashion sense." The guys eyed her
wardrobe, and
Nicky went off to throw up.
Chris spoke first. "What the fuck is this? Do you know her
Alex?"
"Uh, not by choice. Tess, Maria is fine. Plus, we wouldn't
let you into the
band if you were the last thing resembling a female on this
earth." It took
all of Trash's restraint not to blow them up right there, but she just made
one her famous "I have gas" faces and stormed off.
******
Maria was sitting at her kitchen table drinking tea and honey. She
heard
someone knocking and told them to come in. She wouldn't have said
that if
she'd known who it was.
Tess stomped into the kitchen looking pissed off and threw her purse onto
the
table. "What's the matter, honey? Max give you the old
brush-off again?"
"Listen, bitch! Tonight is my big chance to be the star out of
your little
group of losers. Now, if you know what's good for you, you'll call
Alex and
tell him that you can't make it."
"Right. Let me just go get the phone." Tess smiled
when she saw Maria
walking away from the kitchen table. She looked out the window
contently,
thinking about what was to come that night.
Maria had grabbed the phone and pretended to dial Alex's number. She
talked
to "Alex" as she led Tess to the doorway. "You're a
smart girl, Maria. I
was hoping I wouldn't have to hurt you. Wouldn't want anyone else to
know
the real me, would we?"
"'Course not, hon. Good luck, tonight."
*******
That evening, the guys were setting up and doing a little rehearsing when
Maria showed up. They proceeded to tell her of the She-beast that had
visited
them earlier.
"Well, just so you guys know, she'll be back. Here, drink some
of this."
She passed around a flask full of a mixture of herbs that she'd mixed at
home. Maria, being the smartest person in Roswell, had actually
contacted
the ATL that afternoon, and had been told a way to keep from being
mindwarped.
"Ugh," Alex grimaced, "what the hell was that?"
"Don't worry bout a thing, babe. E-flat, please."
******
Max, Isabel, and Michael had decided to go to the Factory together that
night, and Tess, as usual, had decided to tag along. She was wearing
a
hideous leopard-print top and some leather pants that she must've used her
powers to get on. For the most part, the 3 other Podsters rode in
silence.
Max was trying to keep from being groped, and Tess wouldn't stop talking
about how she'd acquired the new position of frontwoman of the Whits.
When they got there, a line had already formed, so they decided to go
around
the back. They were all thankful when they saw Maria onstage.
Tess,
however, was not.
"That bitch...." She ran onstage and proceeded to yank the
microphone away
from Maria.
"Oh, hell no." Maria grabbed the mic stand and whacked her
in the kneecaps.
Tess still had the mic, and was on the floor frantically trying to belt out
a
Nikka Costa song. She was trying to simultaneously mindwarp the guys,
and
was having a little trouble.
Markos and Nicky couldn't handle another note. They grabbed their
guitars
and took turns hitting her over the head with them. Alex followed
their lead
and used his bass like a hockey stick around the rest of her body.
Chris
grabbed his drumsticks and was in the process of gouging her eyes
out.
Maria had seen Kyle and Liz walk in and had walked over to them. They
were
joined by Max, Michael, and Isabel, and they all stood there enjoying the
view. "Come on, guys," Maria said, "don't tell me you
don't want some of
that action." They went onstage together, while the crowd
cheered them on.
Just then, a group of people walked in. They were all dressed in
black and
had various items of torture with them.
"Well, well, well. Looks like the party started without
us," MD said as she
watched the festivities.
"The guys seem to be doing a pretty good job, though, wouldn't you
say?"
Laura replied.
A drunk young man had walked over to Scott and Rick and was asking them
about
their weapons. "Sorry," Scott told him, "only for
members of the ATL."
"Right," Rick agreed, "but if you have any of the good stuff
left, I might
let you hold this machete."
"Okay, guys, I think that's enough," Amy said as she joined
them. Shelly had
also seen what was going on, and agreed with Amy. "She's
right. We need to
concentrate on what we're here for."
Meanwhile, Lisa was videotaping the Tess-torture, and Elizabeth was busy
snapping photos.
Donna, Caitlin, and Berkie were talking to some of the locals on the dance
floor. The consensus was that no one liked Tess, not even her
customers.
Denise had disappeared, but Anah knew where to find her. All she had
to do
was look for Kyle. "So, we have this jet...anywhere you want to
go, just
name it..."
Suddenly onstage, there were loud crashing noises, as Isabelle and Kiki
took
the drum set apart and threw the pieces onto the barely breathing
Tess.
Andrea and Shell took their weapons onstage and joined in. With one
swift
movement of her sword, Andrea got rid of Tess's feet. Shell had
brought a
baseball bat, but decided to go with her various needles she'd brought with
her. She and Cornelia randomly stuck them throughout Trash's face.
The Podsters and humans had been watching on the side of the stage, and
while
they liked what they saw, were all confused. They were joined by
Kerry and
Kylie, who had begun to explain who they all were. Maria had taken
the
microphone, and addressed the crowd.
"Everybody, I have a special treat for you. These are my friends
of the
Anti-Tess League. They all deserve a big round of
applause." With that, the
crowd roared, and Maria handed the mic to Bette. "Well, guys,
I'd say it's
time for a little karaoke!"
The entire ATL was onstage, and Tess had just taken her last
breath. That
didn't stop Lila from defiling her even more.
The singing could be heard all over Roswell. "I've had my share
of sand
kicked in my face, but I've come through, and I need to go on and on and on
and on
We are the champions, my friends, and we'll keep on fighting till the
end....."
**********
After getting Valenti to help get rid of the body, the ATL hopped into
their
SUVs and headed out to the field where the jet was parked. Sunrise
was
approaching.
The Whits, Podsters, and humans had been invited on a trip.
"So, guys", MD said, "how does Vegas sound?"
Everyone agreed that Vegas would be better the second time
around....Tess-less.
The End
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