| My Paw Pals |
| Doggone It! last updated September 30, 2002 |
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| Dog Speak |
| A translation of Yankee Dogs to Southern Dawgs Yankee Southern Gernman Shepherd Poh-leece Dawg Poodle Circus Dawg St Bernard "Thank Gawd, here comes the Whiskey Dawg." Doberman Pinscher Bad Dawg; Dobimin Pinches Beagle Rabbit Dawg Rottweiler Mean as Heck Dawg; Good Dawg to guard the still Yellow Lab Ol' Yeller Dawg Black Lab Duck fetchin' Dawg Greyhound Greased Lightnin' Dawg Malinois Another kind of Poh-leece Dawg Blue Ticks, Red Bones etc Prize Coon Dawgs Pekinese Mop Dawg Siberian Husky Sled-Pullin' Dawg Bouvier, Komondor "What the heck kinda dawg is that?" Great Dane, Mastiff Danged Big Dawg Any dog that raids the Egg-Suckin' Dawg hen house Any lazy dog Good fer nothin' Dawg Any dog that's gone to Best danged Dawg I ever had Rainbow Bridge |
| How many dogs to change a light bulb? |
| Golden Retriever: The sun is shining, the day is young, we've got our whole lives ahead of us, and you're inside worrying about a stupid light bulb? Border Collie: Just one. And then I'll replace any wiring that's not up to code. Dashchund: You know I can't reach that stupid lamp. Rottweiler: Make me! Lab: Oh me, me!!! Pleeeeze let me change the light bulb! Can I? Can I? Huh? Huh? Huh? Can I? Malamute: Let the Border Collie do it. You can feed me while he's busy. Jack Russell Terrier: I'll just pop it in while I'm bouncing off the walls and furniture. Poodle: I'll just blow in the Border Collie's ear, and he'll do it. By the time he finishes rewiring the house, my nails will be done. Cocker Spaniel: Why change it? I can still pee on the carpet in the dark. Doberman Pinscher: While it's dark, I'm going to sleep on the couch. Boxer: Who cares? I can still play with my squeaky toys in the dark ... Mastiff: Mastiffs are not afraid of the dark. Chihuahua: Yo quiero Taco Bulb. Irish Wolfhound: Can somebody else do it? I've got this hangover. Pointer: I see it. There it is. There it is. Right there ... Greyhound: It isn't moving. Who cares? Australian Shepherd: First, I'll put all the light bulbs in a little circle ... Old English Sheep Dog: Light bulb? I'm sorry. I don't see a light bulb? German Shepherd: Alright, everyone stop where you are. Who busted the light? I said, "Stop where you are." Hound Dog: ZZZZZzzzzzzzz Cat: Dogs do not change light bulbs. People change light bulbs. So the question is: How long will it be before I can expect light? |