He looked so broken, standing there with the weight of the world on his shoulders and the prospect of doing what he was born to do without Leo standing behind him to catch him when he falls. Without a word I pulled him into my arms, offering up a prayer to whatever greater being out there that had gotten us as far as we�d come that I would have the strength to hold Joshua Lyman together once again.
I was a little out of practise at comforting Josh, but it had always been about instinct with us anyway so I didn�t allow myself to think about how long it had been since I had been the one that Josh turned to when the world started spinning backwards on him.
�What are we going to do without him?� Josh asked after a few minutes.
�What he would want us to,� I said, going with my gut, which Leo had always told me was one of my greatest strengths. �Live our lives. Run the country. Remember him, both the good and the bad, because editing for content is not Leo�s way.� I kissed Josh�s forehead before pulling back just enough so that I could look into his eyes. They were cloudy with the tears of a man who had gotten everything he ever wanted and lost everything he�d had before in one fell swoop. �Leo wouldn�t want his death to send you into a crisis of faith, Josh. Not in politics, not in life, and most definitely not in yourself. And I�m not going to let you wallow when you and I both know that Leo would be the first one there to kick your butt back into line.�
Josh smiled softly despite his grief. �Thank you,� he whispered, pulling himself together enough to realize that we were still standing in my doorway with the door open and a celebration breaking up downstairs. We rectified that quickly, a Do Not Disturb sign and a locked door protecting us and keeping us together, a united front against our precarious mixture of grief and joy.
�I talked to Mallory a minute ago. She wants me to help her with his hotel tomorrow when we get back to DC,� Josh said softly as I helped him out of his suit jacket.
�Are you up for it?� I asked as I tossed the jacket onto a chair. It was too wrinkled to worry about hanging it up.
�I don�t know if I�ll ever be up for it, but Mal needs me,� Josh said as I went to work on his tie.
I nodded, knowing how close Josh and Mallory had always been. Sometimes I wondered, considering how well Josh and Mallory knew each other, and how well Josh and Sam knew each other, and how much time Mallory spent helping out on the first Bartlet for America campaign during her summer break, how Sam could have not known that Mallory was Leo�s daughter when he let off a rant to her about all the things that had gone wrong in his world including his �accidentally sleeping with a call girl�. �You�re a good man, Joshua,� I said as I tossed his tie toward his jacket.
�But I�ll never be him,� Josh said sadly.