�I forgot about the M&M�s,� Josh smiled as he rested his head back against the plush seat. His hand reached out, his fingers tangling with mine. �How long is this flight?� he asked as he closed his eyes.
�Two hours, fifty seven minutes,� I replied.
Josh nodded. �Can we talk?� he asked, opening his eyes and looking at me intently.
�About�?�
�Us.�
�Oh,� I said, surprised. He had expressed his determination to talk about the as-yet amorphous us sooner rather than later before falling asleep the night before but I thought that he meant in DC at his place, not on a plane with the next President of the United States and his wife sitting across the aisle from us. �If you want,� I said, somewhat nervously.
�I want,� Josh nodded. He leaned over and pressed his lips to mine briefly. I wasn�t entirely sure I was comfortable with public displays of affection, especially in front of our boss, but the feeling of his lips against mine was too good to argue with. �I want to have a relationship with you, Donna,� he said, his voice a low whisper, presumably for privacy. �I want the whole clich� �get married, have kids, grow old together� life with you. We�ve waited almost nine years already and I understand if you don�t want to start something when I�m about to embark on four to eight years as Chief of Staff and you�re about to start something huge, too, but I need you to know that I�m ready and I don�t intend to let anything get in the way of being with you if you say that you want to be with me.�
I shook my head. �I want this. I want the clich� life with you, Josh,� I said, praying that the tears that I could feel burning in the corners of my eyes weren�t about to start falling. �I�m just� the way this started� I need to be sure that we don�t��
�Donna, what is it?� Josh asked, squeezing my hand and leaning in closer to me as I struggled to find a way to say what I felt.
Taking a deep breath, I calmed myself slightly before speaking. �I don�t want to enter into a relationship with you because our emotions are running so high. I�ve waited for eight years to be with you and, though I don�t want to scare you, I have to say that this, you and me, is it for me. I don�t want this to be about us reaching for each other because we�re familiar and safe.�
�I�m anything but safe, Donna. You�ve seen my hate mail�more people want to kill me than ever.�
�That�s not the kind of safe I was talking about. If I wanted that kind of safe I�d be in the private sector married to a teacher or something with worries like a mortgage and whose parents we�ll spend the holidays with. I was talking about the kind of safe like� like home. Like a teddy bear or the blankie you had as a kid. Safe as in security,� I said.
�We�re each other�s baby blankies,� Josh frowned.