julyaug02

July/August 2002

July 13, 2002
     I got great news three times over in the last couple weeks...two good friends of mine have gotten their surgery dates (8/5 and 8/20) and another friend of my husband's has gotten his date (also 8/5). I'm so excited for these people. I remember how it felt the day I got my date. And...I know how I feel now and I'm so thrilled that very soon they will be experiencing the joy and freedom that I am.
     It's been 11 months today. I went thru my closet today and I litterally packed away a good 2/3 of the clothes in there...they were all too big! We're talkin' sizes like 20, 16, XL, even some L (that ran big)...these things are all sloppy-big on me now instead of just a little oversized. I tried on a pair of size 12 shorts that I've been anxious to be able to wear and they fit! Ok, granted, they are a stretch denim, but it's taken a while to get into them. I wore them comfortably all day yesterday. I still have a lot of excess skin on my tummy and because of it I'm in a 12/14 at this point. My back side and legs however could probably fit snugly in a 10 at this point...a 10!!! I don't remember the last time I wore a 10! LOL But my tummy keeps me in a "bigger" size. Ah well, I still cannot complain.
     There was a message posted to my surgeon's support group website recently. One of the women (she's approx. 14-15 months out now) got pulled over by a cop recently. He was going to ticket her for speeding but when he saw her liscense (she hasn't updated it since before her surgery) he was so shocked at the difference in her that he sent her on her way ticket free! LOL

July 22, 2002
     The walking has been suffering again. :( I really need to get back on track. I've let the heat and my husband's work schedule become my excuses and I know deep down that I cannot do that. When I'm not exercising faithfully, I crave the crap; fatty and sugary foods. When I'm walking, I do so much better. So YOU are my witness, tonight I'm going to leave the kids with Mike after dinner and go take my 2 mile walk no matter what! I have lost so much weight and I'm so pleased with where I'm at but I know I still have a short way to go and if I don't follow the rules, I won't make it. I'm in the mid 160's right now so that means I have approximately 20-30 lb. to go until "goal". I'm expecting to land somewhere in the high 130's to 140's. Ok, so...today is a new day; it is a clean slate with no mistakes on it (I ripped that off from a diet I tried years ago...one of those "motivational sayings"! LOL But I always liked that one so I've kept it tucked away in my mind).
     I have a little advice for anyone having surgery or newly post-op...do not try the foods you are supposed to avoid! I did great avoiding those things for a while but it seems like once I tried them the compulsion returned. Unfortunately I have tolerated nearly everything I've eaten. Not too much has bothered me in recent months. I can even have sugar up to a point and even when I've had too much, it doesn't affect me as dramatically as it does a lot of other people. That scares me. If I had never tried any of it, I'd probably have an easier time staying away. So....like I said...don't dip into the foods you are supposed to avoid!

August 13, 2002
     Today is my one year anniversary or "new birthday" as so many people think of it. One year ago today I had my surgery. What a year it's been! My life has changed in ways I could never have imagined. I'm finding it hard to express in words exactly how I feel so let's just leave it at this....I am SO GLAD I made this choice for myself and I'd do it again in a heartbeat.
     I've lost a total of 106 lb. by the regualr scale. But that's no longer the standard by which I measure my success. Here are the truly exciting numbers...I've gone from being over 75% body fat to 31.2% body fat, I've gone from having only 50-55 lb. lean mass on my body to 113 lb. of lean mass. I used to carry 220-225 lb. of fat on my body and now I only carry 51.5 lb. of fat! My shoe size has gone from a 10 to a 9 - 9 1/2 (depending on the style), my clothing size used to be 26/28 or 3XL, today I wear a 12/14 or L. My blood pressure has gone from being in the 130's/90's and higher to normal (even after chasing my toddler son around the waiting room! LOL). I have more stamina, more energy. I can keep up with my children so much better now. I'm happier; I'm not as defensive and angry as I used to be. I have more self confidence and some people have told me that I "glow".
     There are many very personal triumphs as well and if you've lived even one day obese you will both relate and appreciate these changes:
*Personal hygiene is a snap now. Before it had gotten very difficult.
*I no longer fear public seating such as restaurant booths, airplane seats, the desks at school and amusement park rides.
*Intimacy is easier now and more rewarding (forgive me if that's too much information but remember this website is here for the benefit of those considering this surgery).
*I can pull clothes off the rack of the misses section and they fit! My underclothes are so much prettier and feminine looking.
*I am smaller than my husband for the first time ever and my wedding dress is too big now! I love that my husband can get his arms all the way around me and overlap them when he hugs me now. I love the look in his eyes when he tells me how proud of me he is for taking this step and for all my hard work.
*I can take the summer heat much better than I could 100 lb. ago.
The list could go on forever, but these are some of the things I notice and appreciate the most.
     Dr. B, Thank you for getting me started on this new life. Thank you for your strict rules and for insisting that they be followed. You don't take any excuses and my life is so much better for it!
     Thank you to my close friends and family for all of the support, prayers and clothes you've given me. Your love means so very much to me.
     Thank you to my 3 beautiful boys. You are a huge part of why I did this. I want to see you grow up and start your own families someday and I want to be healthy enough to play with my grandchildren.
     And thank you, Mike. You are the love of my life. You were so patient with me as I put on the weight. You never put me down or made me feel any less desireable. You always saw beauty in me when I couldn't. You made me feel just as loved at 301 lb. as you do today. You supported me inspite of your own fears and you've believed in me all along. I love you, honey.
     As you have probably noticed, I've posted less and less to my journal in recent months. Life has gotten so much busier, I'm always moving! LOL I probably will post less from here on out. I start school on Thursday the 15th and my kids start school on the 26th. But, I'm still here and I check my email every day so please feel free to email me anytime. I will post from time to time as I pass milestones and give you updates. Thank you to everyone who has taken the time to write me or sign my guest book. Your words have meant so much to me.