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| Oh Mother, My Mother Oh, mother, my mother I touch your tears, invisible fingers soothing your skin. I know you think of me so often in the day, in the night, in your dreams. Going into an empty nursery knowing I'll never be there, but I am... in your heart, in your soul, I shall always be, for you gave so unselfishly of yourself. Inside of you, you created such a world for me... a world of laughter, of love, of sadness, of sorrow. Every emotion people come to know, you shared with me. And even though I may never feel your arms around me I feel your heart beating, like a lullaby, singing me to sleep. And your spirit giving a safe haven, already nurturing me, preparing me for things to come. But sometimes the journey of life pulls souls apart. And yes, I had to go on to another place. I wish I could stay, wish this was a decision I could make and I know you do too. Know this wherever you are: I will always remember that yours was the first love, the first joy, the first soul I will ever know, You gave me courage to go on in my journey, I hope I can do the same for you. Your heartbeat will always call me to you... - author unknown - |
| Please See Me Through My Tears by Kelly Osmont You asked, "How am I doing?" As I told you, tears came to my eyes... and you looked away and quickly began to talk again. All the attention you had given me drained away. "How am I doing?"...I do better when people listen, though I may shed a tear or two. This pain is indescribable. If you've never known it you cannot fully understand. Yet I need you. When you look away, When I'm ignored, I am again alone with it Your attention means more than you can ever know. Really, tears are not a bad sign, you know! They're nature's way of helping me to heal... They relieve some of the stress of sadness. I know you fear that asking how I'm doing brings me sadness ...but you're wrong. The memory of my loved one's death will always be with me, Only a thought away. My tears make my pain more visible to you, but you did not give me the pain...it was already there. When I cry, could it be that you feel helpless, not knowing what to do? You are not helpless, And you don't need to do a thing but be there. When I feel your permission to allow my tears to flow, you've helped me You need not speak. Your silence as I cry is all I need. Be patient...do not fear. Listening with your heart to "how I am doing" relieves the pain, for when the tears can freely come and go, I feel lighter. Talking to you releases what I've been wanting to say aloud, clearing space for a touch of joy in my life. I'll cry for a minute or two... and then I'll wipe my eyes, and sometimes you'll even find I'm laughing later. When I hold back the tears, my throat grows tight, my chest aches, my stomach knots... because I'm trying to protect you from my tears. Then we both hurt...me, because my pain is held inside, a shield against our closeness...and you, because suddenly we're distant. So please, take my hand and see me through my tears... then we can be close again. |
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| *To Mommy, Love Angel* I once was gonna be born and this I couldn't wait, I knew that everyone was expecting me, I would try not to be late. But I really wasn't sure what was on the other side, I tried to accept what was happening but I knew I couldn't hide. I couldn't help but wonder who my parents were to be, I knew for sure that no matter what, they would always love me. So I thought about it for a while, but I knew I had to leave, I went on to another place, it is so beautiful it is hard so believe. I had a job to do, but it wasn't here on earth, I am so sorry you had to miss it, the day of my birth. I wanted so bad to stay and be home with you, but I knew there was something up here that I had to do. I am now a Guardian Angel and I hope that you are proud, I watch over you and Daddy, I peek down through the clouds. I hope you know how much I love you, and how hard it was to go, I miss you so much everyday, but I am sure you already know. So please don't ever forget me, as I will do the same, you know this wasn't your fault, there is no one to blame. God needed me to be by his side and to take good care of you, so there is no need to be sad now and no need to be blue. If you ever get lonely, just look up at the sky, like if you had a thought of me or just needed to say hi. I am so happy with the way things are even though it may not seem, I talk to you in the nighttime, I touch you when you dream. I want to see the same for you, give a smile for me today, because I know some day we will meet again in some other sort of way. I will be up here waiting for you, to open the gates real wide and help you to come home to heaven, to take a step inside. I thank you for loving me so much, please believe that this is true, and there is no one that I could ever love more Mommy, as much as I love you. ~Author Unknown~ |
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| Waiting To Come Out Here I lay in my mommy's womb, waiting to come out. As I feel my feet grow and my nose sprout. I feel a force, I want to come out. But the walls. The walls are growing dark, and I can't feel my mouth, as I feel the lights go out. I am no longer waiting to come out, but I see a white light, and I don't feel any fright. As a long haired man, takes me by the hand, to a beautiful garden, so fresh and new. I am happy, but on the other side I see Mommy and Daddy waiting for me. I will never be with them, but the love they had, I took it with me. In Loving Memory to my niece Angela Sabrina Aunt Serena Scuderi |
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| To our niece, They say there is a reason, They say that time will heal, But neither time or reason, Will change the way we feel. For no one knows the heartache, That lies behind our smiles, No one knows how many times, We have broken down and cried. We want to tell you something, So there won't be any doubt, You're so wonderful to think of, But so hard to do with out. How dearly we loved you. And prayed you might live. But god beckoned And we had to give. God gave us strength to bear it And courage to fight the blow What it has meant to lose you. God alone will ever know. You are always in our hearts and thoughts... We will love you always! Aunt Anna & Uncle Frankie Cousins Angela and Christina |
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| Absolutely beautiful Never stop loving Give love and kindness Every one has a different mind Love others Sweet and kind I wrote and dedicated this poem to Angela Sabrina Scuderi because she never got to see and feel the outside world. But now we know that she is up in heaven with god and lots of other people. I truly wish that she got to see her wonderful family. But I know that she is watching down on the entire Scuderi family... I just wish that she was here now... To share the joy and fun when you go on vacation... and the joy when she takes her first walk, or when she says her first word . By Katelynn Bodley (age 11, Jessica's friend) |
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| Angela, It's hard to believe that a year has passed already, it seems like only yesterday that I held your precious body in my arms, you looked and felt so perfect, a perfect little angel, I will never forget that day for as long as I live, I am so glad that I did get to hold you, I often wonder why God had to take you from us, that is a question that has no answer, but when you and I do finally meet again I will get that answer. There are times when I'm feeling down and I think of you and it feels as though a weight has been lifted off of me. You are my little guardian angel watching over all of us. You are in my thoughts always. I love you sweet Angela! Love always, Aunt Phyllis |
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| Dear Angela Sabrina Words cannot express how much you are truly missed and loved. For when we think of you, your right here in our hearts. We think of all the yesterdays,we will never have. We will never see you grow, or ever hear you laugh. We all said we loved you, but had to say good-bye. Though we cannot see you, we feel you always by our side. Our hearts will ache in sadness, and tears will always flow. God broke all our hearts, the day He took you home. Even though your gone, you will always be missed and loved. Aunt Tina, Uncle Vinny and cousins, Peter and Mario |
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| Forever Changed Can you see the change in me? It may not seem so obvious to you. I participate in family activities. I attend family reunions. I can plan family holidays. You tell me your glad to see that I don't cry anymore. But I do cry! When everyone has gone when it is safe the tears fall. I cry in privacy, so my family doesn't worry. I cry until I'm exhausted and I can finally sleep. You tell me you admire my strength and my positive attitude. But I am not strong. I feel that I have lost control; and I panic when I think about tomorrow... next week... next year. I go about the routine of my job. I do what I have to do, and I even smile. You tell me your glad to see I'm "over" the death of my loved one. But I'm not "over" it. If I get over it , I will be the same as before my loved one died. I will never be the same. At times I think I am beginning to heal. But the pain of losing someone I loved so much has left a permanent scar on my heart. I visit my neighbors. You tell me that your glad to see i"m holding up so well. Sometimes I want to lock the door and hide from the world. I spend time with my friends. I seem calm and collected. I smile when approiate. You tell me it good to see me back to "my old self". But I will never be back to "my old self" Death and grief, have touched my life and I am forever changed. ~Author Unknown~ |
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| It must be very difficult to be a man in grief. Since "men don't cry" and no tears can bring relief. It must be very difficult to stand up to the test. And hold calls and visitors so she can get some rest. They always ask if she's all right and what she's going through. But seldom takes his hand and asks "My friend, how are you?" He hears her crying in the night and thinks his heart will break And dries the tears and comforts her But "stays strong" for her sake It must be very difficult to start each day anew And try to be so very brave He lost his baby too...... ~Author Unknown~ |
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