I was lying in bed just now and when I do that I think too hard about what might have been if... So I was thinking back to sophomore year when someone came to my door with flowers and istead of showing how happy I was for being treated like a queen, I pretended to be angry that he spent money on me. I was just thinking about how I was back then and how I would pretend not to like things when I really did (I don't know why) and how just a simple thank you to one person could make things totally different. I hate when I worry that I would be better off, but I also worry that I couldn't possibly be better off than I am now
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