Let it be
Let it be
Let it be
There will be an answer
Let it be
I was trying to think about the first time I cried around Randy. It was prom, sophomore year. Then I tried to think of the first time I cried TO randy. It was when I thought I hurt his feelings for the first time after I cared about his feelings. And then I started thinking things I shouldn't talk about on the internet.
Really, this is the same problem everyone has. I used to go to him for all of my problems. If something was upsetting me, he could at least talk to me about it and usually give me some sort of advice towards a solution. But what am I supposed to do when he is what's making me cry?
I wonder how a cd player or winamp or whatever calculates "random" or "shuffle" or "mix." I mean, they have to do some sort of calculation or something. Or you can be like Julia's CD player in her car which will insist on playing a certain track over and over and over again. I guess some cd players are smarter than others.
What is the national sport of Ireland called? I really can't remember.
So I think about how instant everything was with Randy. It was like: meet, hate, hate, hate, hate, hate, love. something, love, something, something. But it was so instant. And I expect everything to be like that. I am so dumb, not to mention that I'm a bad person.
We finally have a test in Russian History. I feel like Lisa Simpson in the episode when the teachers went on strike "GRADE ME!!!" God, lisa really did need to not MY. god lisa, DMY.
Did you know that Stephen Tyler was in both The Beatles and Incubus? Evidence: download "vitamin" by incubus and "hey jude" by the beatles. And in case you're dumb, download something by aerosmith so you can hear Stephen Tyler.
Speaking of Stephen, I had a talk with Steven yesterday. He is really mad at Keith. Apparantly, Keith was blah blah blahing after I left friday night, and Steven didn't like that. He thinks keith is an ungreatful bastard, which he is, but still. It's hard for me to think of people not being friends anymore. I mean, it's one thing to break up with someone. For some reason throwing away something you love is acceptable, but throwing away something you like is weird to me. I just wish we would all sit down and bitch at eachother for one night, just to solve all the problems that aren't really problems. I don't understand what people want sometimes, and I feel like boys want more out of a friendship than girls. Like when it's just me and Abbey and Laura and Cathy, we are totally content just sitting around and talking. But Andrew and Dan and (them) always try to come up with something to do. Not that Laura and I don't, it's just that after a few minutes of trying, it just seems like if there's not something we want to do that badly, why go to the trouble? Boys are dumb. Now how's THAT for rambling.
Burton was flirting with a customer on Friday night. And guess what...she wasn't underage! Oh my god, worlds colliding.
Oh god I haven't even spoken about this. The day I got dumped (wednesday) I went out for ice cream with Lauren. Now I don't talk about Lauren that much, because she doesn't read this, but Lauren is seriously the best person I know. And I don't usually like to think of people as "good" and "bad" but god damn Lauren is the best. I've thought that for a long time. I feel like I could kill someone and she would still tell me I did the right thing. I mean brutally murder someone. Not like, in the heat of the moment I snapped and beat up Abbey, I mean someone (just kidding Abbey, I can beat you up whenever). But like, CSI, planned out, no loopholes, killed someone. I could do that and Lauren would not judge me. Or she would, but she would lie to me and that's what matters. So anyway, eating Ice cream with Lauren and she mentioned there was a job opening at her place of business - her mom's daycare center, Caroucel. At first the idea of working there was preposterous to me, but the idea of doing something so different with my life RIGHT NOW is very settling (the opposite of unsettleing). I know I have to leave Cinema Arts. It's necessary. But I thought I'd just go work at some restaurant as a waitress or something. But the idea of every day being different, and working with little people who are growing at such a rapid rate and changing every day just seems like such a good idea for me. Because I resist change. Randy breaks up with me and I just concentrate on the things that ARE consistant. I say "I still have my job, I still have my mom, I still have my bed, I still have my computer,,," but I do need a change.
I will give you a TOTD now. This comic is me. It woudn't fit onto this page so I am liking you to it. I am funny.