Chapter Forty Three: It�s Like Matchmaking on Bowling League Night
(We find ourselves in the overly familiar Gondorian Houses of Healing, where two certain girls are plotting a meeting between a certain two patients. But enough of the innuendos! We all know that Stevie and Harper are trying to hook up Faramir and Eowyn. Now this is not only because of the fact that if they don�t get the two hitched they�ll ruin the future even more, but because the two would just look really cute together So here they are sitting outside in the gardens coming up with a plan.)
Stevie: Well, how�d they hook up in the books?
Harper: They met in these gardens. They�d walk with each other and fell in love and Faramir proposed and Eowyn got rid of her thing for Aragorn and said yeah and then they got hitched.
Stevie: Aha. Well, with me here she hasn�t developed too much of a thing for Aragorn, so maybe this won�t be as hard as we think!
Harper: Or it could be harder because of the fact without longing for Aragorn she won�t see the many incredible characteristics of Faramir. She�ll just think he�s a beatnik or something.
Stevie: (chuckles) Faramir the Beatnik�..I find that strangely amusing. Well, anyway, we can try it, and if it doesn�t work we can treat Eowyn like poop and she�ll go straight into the arms of the sweet and gentlemanly Faramir.
Harper: (rolls her eyes) Yeah, that�ll be effective. I can�t believe they�re going to let you be queen.
Stevie: (smirks) Either can I, but I�m not complaining!
Harper: (shakes her head) Gondor�s going down the hole now.
Stevie: Oh, and you�re going to do any better, Little Miss Lady of Gondor?
Harper: I never said that. In fact, I�ll probably do worse.
Stevie: (frowns) Where�d your competitive spirit go, eh?
Harper: It�s still there, but I�ve gained the wonderful ability to foresee arguments over silly things.
Stevie: Oh, well, I�m glad you have. I�m still stupid like that.
Harper: It�ll get better. You�re growing up, kiddo.
Stevie: Wow. You sound like a mom. You didn�t randomly have kids and become all motherly in the past month, did you?
Harper: (laughs) No. I�m not ready for that one. Not to mention that Boromir and I aren�t married and it isn�t physically possible for me to bear a child and develop that kind of motherly wisdom in a month.
Stevie: (shrugs) Just checking. After all, we�ve always been two to defy possibility, right?
(Stevie and Harper jump behind a bunch of bushes and are just hanging out. Faramir and Eowyn are hanging out, talking, and looking disturbingly lovey-dovey.)
Faramir: What do you think if they actually knew we�ve been walking around like this?
Eowyn: Or, more importantly, how fond of each other we�ve become?
Faramir: (smiles) This is also important. Tell me, Eowyn, would you consider making this fondness�..permanent?
Eowyn: As opposed to impermanent?
Faramir: (frowns) What I mean to say�..to ask you�.. is if you�d be able to settle down with a lowly son of Gondor.
Eowyn: (smiling brightly) More than able, entirely willing and longing.
Faramir: (smiling) Then you consent to marrying me?
Eowyn: Of course I do!
Stevie: (leaping out of bushes) I knew it!
Faramir: (startled) Stevie!
Harper: (jumps out of bush) Ahh Stevie, you blew our cover.
Eowyn: Harper!
Merry: (pops out of bushes) Hey!
Faramir and Eowyn: (in unison) Merry!
Harper: Merry?
Merry: Hullo!
Stevie: (looks at Eowyn and Faramir and shrugs) He�s not with us. (Back to Merry) Hey! You�re supposed to be in bed, Macho Man!
Merry: I know, but everything was boring in there. I wanted to get into the action!
Harper: Where�s Pippin?
Merry: We ate a lot and he kind of just passed out. It�s a Hobbit thing. Full stomach and bam, you�re out like a light.
Stevie: So why aren�t you in dreamland like our favorite Took?
Merry: Uhh�..I think Pippin may have laid a little too heavy on the ale as well.
Faramir: Will someone please explain why you all feel the need to intrude on our privacy?
Stevie: Because you�re so irresistibly adorable in your flirtatiousness?
Eowyn: (raises an eyebrow) Is that so?
Harper: We were intending on trying to get you two to fall in love and stuff, but you beat us to it.
Faramir: Well, we appreciate your efforts, but we�ve handled it all on our own. Did my brother put you up to this?
Harper: Goodness no. He honestly never even thought of it.
Merry: That�s why you should be glad for concerned citizens such as ourselves.
Stevie: Such as ourselves? This was our plan. Woah, Merry, you�re looking a bit tipsy. Are you alright?
Merry: (belches) Yep! Just a tad bit too much ale.
Harper: Well, what say we get you back to bed, eh?
Merry: Wait! Do you hear that?
Eowyn: Aye, I hear something as well!
Stevie: (turns and points to the sky) The Eagles!
Faramir: What does that mean?
Harper: The Battle at the Black Gate is now over. We have won.
Eowyn: Truly?
Stevie: She�s right. Look at that.
Faramir: Why are they flying down towards Mordor?
Merry: (suddenly worried) To look for Frodo and Sam!
Harper: Come on, Master Meriadoc. Let us get you to bed and I am certain that by the time you awaken all shall be in order.
Stevie: Yeah. Come on kiddies.
Faramir: (looks skeptical) Kiddies?
Stevie: Hey! I�m Queen of the Castle for a day, so you have to do as I tell you. You�re both still recovering and need rest.
Harper: We all do. Stevie and I shall get some sleep as well, and then we can all be bright-eyed and bushy-tailed when everyone is back tomorrow.
(They walk off, seeing each of the people to their rooms. Stevie handles Faramir and Eowyn while Harper goes off with Merry. She gets him situated and moves a very asleep Pippin to his own side of the bed under the covers.)
Merry: Do you really think they�ll all come back? Every last one of them?
Harper: It�s hard to say.
Merry: You know the future, don�t you, though?
Harper: Parts�..the basics of how this are supposed to go, but things are always subject to change. Like how Boromir and Aragorn also insisted that Pippin was to stay here. I�ll be honest and tell you that he�s supposed to be fighting with them.
Merry: (smiles) But he�s here, safe with me!
Harper: Aye, safe with his favorite cousin Merry.
Merry: Thank you, Harper. I�m going to sleep now. Tell Stevie good night for me, alright?
Harper: I will.
(Harper leaves and meets up with Stevie in the hall. The two can�t help but smirk in the anxiousness they feel over having everyone, including Sam and Frodo, return to Minas Tirith.)
Harper: Merry says good night.
Stevie: He�s such a sweet little guy.
Harper: They all are.
Stevie: Do you think that�s why Kit has a thing for Frodo?
Harper: (frowns) Maybe. You know that isn�t going to last, right?
Stevie: I was beginning to wonder about that. Frodo will leave for the Havens eventually, won�t he?
Harper: Yep, therefore he won�t continue this cuddly-wuddly whatever with Kit. He�ll break it off as soon as he is well. I just know it.
Stevie: What�ll happen to her after that, do you think?
Harper: Well, we know there are many other eligible and handsome guys around here. Especially with Boromir�s cousins from Dol Amroth. They�re pretty cute.
Stevie: (smirks) I think I might tell Boromir that you�re crushing on his cousins.
Harper: (grins) And I�ll tell him I can�t help it because I miss him and the apparent good looks run in the family.
Stevie: Oh, somebody�s got the Man of Gondor wrapped around their little finger.
Harper: (shakes head) Not really. I guess you could say we�re both equally wrapped around each other�s little fingers. It�s weird, but at least Boromir�ll do what I want�..sometimes. You and Aragorn are at it all the time.
Stevie: I love the guy, really I do. He�s just stressed right now and I�ve been nearly killing him with worry over all the stupid stuff I�ve been doing.
