Chapter Thirty Four: Conspiracies in Action and Letters Read
(We find ourselves still in the scenic location of Dunharrow, where everyone appears to be saying their goodbyes. We find the three girls and Haldir along with Aragorn, Legolas, Gimli, and the rest of the Grey Company. Everyone is saying their farewells and the girls are giving hugs to people. It�s all so very�..dramatic�..and stuff.)
Aragorn: (holding Stevie in his arms) Remember, Stevie, you said you would behave for Haldir. If I find out you gave him the slightest bit of trouble�..
Stevie: I know, I know, I�ll get it. I promise I shall behave and do as I am told.
Aragorn: It is a shame though. I was intending on Merry going with you, but since he decided so abruptly to swear allegiance to Theoden he cannot leave. You wouldn�t happen to know what inspired this, would you?
Stevie: (smirks at him) If you are implying that I told him to do it, you are wrong. He wanted to and sought my advice.
Aragorn: And then you told him to do it?
Stevie: (pokes him) I told Merry to do what his heart said was right. Obviously, his heart told him that fighting for Theoden was just that � the right thing to do.
Aragorn: Well, I can�t argue with that. I just hope he doesn�t get himself killed.
Stevie: Oh, that reminds me. Don�t get yourself killed, okay?
Aragorn: I�ll try not to. Anything else, my love?
Stevie: Yes. Watch out for Halbarad. If he ends up dead I will kill you myself. He needs to come back, for Van, okay?
Aragorn: I shall do my best. Now, off with you and remember your promise to behave.
Stevie: Alright! Be careful and come back to me in one piece. I will see you when this is all over.
(Meanwhile, back at the Gladden River, our dearest Boromir and Harper are laying on their backs on a patch of grass staring at the clouds. They both look excruciatingly bored. After laying there for a few moments more, Boromir breaks the tranquility of the moment with a bored and frustrated groan.)
Boromir: I am so bored I think I am going to lose my mind. I want to do something!
Harper: You know we can�t do that, Boromir. We made a deal, remember? Stay here and behave ourselves until this is all over.
Boromir: (rolling on his side to face her) Hannah, we�re the heroes! We don�t just sit around and do nothing!
Harper: Boromir�
Boromir: (sitting up and pulling her up to a sitting position and shaking her shoulders gently) We save the world, Hannah! It�s what we do! Remember what you said to me when we talked about going back to Gondor and what we�d do if I wasn�t welcomed?
Harper: Yes.
Boromir: (shaking her with a bit more force) At this rate they�ll never let me back! By time we get there I�ll be as mad as a hatter! Look at me! Do I look sane to you? Do I?
Harper: No, I�d say not. Stop shaking me.
Boromir: (lets go of her) Sorry.
Harper: S�okay.
Boromir: Than can we please get out of here and do something? Please?
Harper: What do you propose we do, Little Mister Super Hero?
Boromir: (shrugs) I don�t know. I just really want to do something!
Harper: (sighs) Do you realize, you darling little man, you, that by time we get back to Amon Hen the war would�ve more than likely have ended already?
Boromir: Oh. Well, that puts a damper on things, doesn�t it?
Harper: Just a tad.
Boromir: (perks up with an idea) Well, then we can start leaving for Gondor early! We still have the boat and everything!
Harper: (groans) You�re incorrigible.
Boromir: (looks at her for a few moments) You don�t want to leave at all, do you?
Harper: I don�t want you to run off and get yourself killed�..I don�t want to run off and get myself killed!
Boromir: Who said anything about getting ourselves killed? That wasn�t a part of the plan.
Harper: (stares at him) There are a lot of the things that weren�t a part of �the plan� that have happened. That doesn�t seem to say much about �the plan�s� reliability, does it?
Boromir: Why do I feel like I�m going to have a hard time convincing you to do this with me?
Harper: Because you are going to have a hard time convincing me to do this with you.
Boromir: Oh, well then that explains everything.
Harper: Oh, just shut up and hold me, you mad hatter, you.
(We find ourselves actually leaving Dunharrow now. Haldir and the girls are riding off in the direction of the Golden Wood. Well, that is until they get far enough from Dunharrow and a cloaked figure on another horse approaches. Suddenly, Stevie dismounts from her horse and the cloaked rider does the same. They both take their belongings and switch horses.)
Kit: Stevie, what the hell are you doing?
Stevie: I can�t tell you. Here. (hands a piece of folded parchment to Kit and Van respectively) Those will explain all. I�m going away for a while. You will ask no questions of me now, and you will not follow me, understood?
Van: Okay, okay, but who�s this?
Haldir: This is Arcane, a friend, and the younger sister of Spry and Dawdle.
Arcane: (lowering hood) Hello.
Kit: Hi.
Stevie: Alright, you guys. Behave yourselves!
Kit: What are you doing, Stevie?
Stevie: I�m off to make mischief. What else would I be off doing?
Kit: Oh, I don�t know. Maybe keeping your promise to Aragorn?
Stevie: I only promised I would behave for Haldir, which I have. Haldir will even say as much. Now I have business to attend to.
Van: If you go back to Dunharrow they will see you. Aragorn will know.
Stevie: Aragorn left for the Paths of the Dead along with everyone else right after we set off. No one else there will notice me, I�m going incognito. Everything will be fine, trust me.
Haldir: Go now, your friend will be waiting for you. Don�t get caught, Stevie, and don�t get yourself killed either, understood?
Stevie: Yes, sir!
(And so Stevie rides off to go and find her armor that Eowyn hid for her just outside the camp and then to find Eowyn herself. This leaves Van and Kit to read their notes to themselves.)
Kit: (reading aloud) �My dearest Kittydoodles, I know how angry with me you must be at this moment, and I do not blame you. Remember when I threatened Halbarad? Before that I told Van I was doing it because Harper was not here to do it herself, and I meant that. I now go further in fulfilling my temporary position as Harper by following Halbarad into battle. I do not follow him trough the Paths of the Dead because it is not feasible, but I know in my gut and in my heart that he shall come out alive. I go into war to watch over the fool of a ranger to make sure that he comes back to Van, and I know Harper would do the same. If it were possible I would do the same and travel through hell and back to guard your much-beloved Frodo though his journey, but I cannot. Please forgive me for my attempt at heroism and for leaving you. Take care of Van and make sure you check up on Harper and Boromir for me once you get to Lorien. You may or may not wish to tell her what I am doing. Enclosed in this letter is one for Harper that you are to give her. This is a precaution, just incase I cannot and do not return. I love you and my thoughts and prayers go with you. Love, Stevie.�
Haldir: (smiles) Spoken like a true future queen of Gondor.
Van: (reading her letter aloud) �My sweetest Vanessa, I figure Kit has probably let you see her note already, or read it to you. If this is the case, than you already know what I am doing, and why I am doing it. You know I love you like a little sister, and that I do not only do what I am doing to take Harper�s place. I do it because I care for you and it is right. I will see to it that Halbarad is returned to you so that you may spend many fine days together, no matter what it may cost me. I have, regardless of my excuses, broken my promise to my beloved Aragorn, my liege lord and master. Enclosed in your letter is another for Aragorn should I not return. If I do return then I shall have the joy of seeing my sisters again or at least long enough before Aragorn throws me away into some dungeon to rot. But seriously, if something should happen to me, deliver this note to Aragorn and know that it is not your fault this has happened. You are one of my dearest friends and I would not have you thinking that way. Be happy with Halbarad, and I have on last request. If you ever see Legolas again, forgive him and mean it from the very bottom of your heart. He is saddened immensely by what he has done, so do forgive him. May you truly live that happily ever after. Love, Stevie.�
(There is silence for a little while and Van just stares at the note for a few minutes more. Then she bursts out into tears, giving everyone a start.)
Van: She�s going off to get herself killed! She�s going to die! And for me, so I can be with Halbarad!
Haldir: I am certain, Van, that she will come back to you. She would not die so easily.
Kit: Besides, Van. You know what Harper would do if Stevie went off and got herself killed. Actually, she�d be there beating the crap out of any vile creature that would attempt it.
Van: (sniffling) Yeah, you�re right. If anyone is going to kill Stevie it�s going to be Harper. And then maybe Aragorn, but no other.
Arcane: Come now, if we ride all night we should arrive in Lorien tomorrow afternoon.
(Back at Dunharrow, Stevie is already clad in her Rohirric armor, and has just found Eowyn and Merry, both similarly clad, in a tent. They all look utterly ridiculous, but are determined and eager to get on the road to Gondor. Merry looks saddened.)
Merry: Theoden says I have to stay here because I�ll just be a burden to everyone else.
Eowyn: That�s nonsense. You�ll come with us, Merry.
Merry: don�t you think that someone is going to notice the wee little fact that you are both women in uniform�..with certain recognizable names?
Stevie: We�ve already dealt with that. Merry, I�d like you to meet Dernhelm (pointing to Eowyn) and I am Deorling.
Merry: Well then, that changes things. Shall we get going?
